The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 29

CLARKE POV
I'm packing food for the trip with Lincoln, when Lexa comes out of no where.

"Clarke." She nods to me emotionless.
We're in front of her warriors and I assume it's not the best time to show favors.

"Commander, what are you doing here?"
She's geared up and has a blade on her back. I shouldn't need to ask, but I want to hear her say it.

"I'm coming with you. If anything goes wrong I won't allow my people to step in front of me. I fight my own battles." She avoids eye contact speaking into the woods.
I nod softly and wrap up the last of the meat into a cloth.

"This should last us the rest of the trip." I say to the wind.

It's not long after we all mount our horses and begin to leave. I try not to make a big deal about it but I can't mount the horse. I'm stuck trying to figure out how to climb it when a small stool is kicked towards me. I see Murphy looking at me with a solemn smirk. I smile back grateful and use my good leg to swing over the horse. Murphy is in the middle where everyone can watch him, and I find myself alongside Indra.. in the front.
Lexa yells a hoorah and the horses winny before beginning to trot. Indra pulls back from Lexa to be closer to me.

"Your people will get her killed." She states looking at the back of Lexa.
I ignore her pressing forward.
"The clans may stay at rest with the deaths of those murderers, but it will not last."
Her words speak of warning but her voice tells me it's a threat. I try to push her out of my head, but I can't stop.

"The war has begun Clarke and it will end with you or Lexa's death. You both may be able to protect each other alive, but once one falls so will the other and we both know who's life is more valuable." She keeps her head faced to Lexa.
To anyone watching it looks like she isn't speaking to me at all.
"Most believe you should have died that day. You should have seen the commander, Lexa was. Strong, faithful, we had felt sorrow for her loss, but were thankful for her strength. We accepted you then, now you've ruined all chances of being accepted."
I could feel my face heat up, but I knew she was speaking the truth. If I had come sooner, or been less headstrong we may have been in our old position.

"I overheard you believed Lexa died. You're much weaker than her. You moped around while Lexa lead her people. Same situation different people. It's as though you didn't even think to avenge Lexa's-."

"Be quiet!" I shout.
All warriors go silent under my voice. Indra brings her horse back to Lexa's, leaving me in my embarrassment and shame. Lexa looks to me, trying to figure out what just happened, but I'm too far in my own thoughts. I place my hand against the rough rope and grip it. Indra has only said the truth, I did nothing after I thought Lexa died. I just collapsed into myself. If only I was stronger, if only I had been there for my people, if only...

"Clarke." I hear Lincoln say.
I take my eyes away from the horse and look to him. His confusion is obvious.

"Clarke we're about to settle and make camp."
My eyes can't focus on him. They look into the woods searching for something that isn't there. They wander creating images of their own. A man as tall as a tree looms over me. His facial features are twisted into a sinister sneer. I'm so focused on the man Lincoln has to take hold of my reigns to stop the horse. I look down to the horse it's coat glistening in the light.
"Thanks." I murmur to Lincoln.
I slide my legs to one side and hop off the horse cursing on the dismount. I grab the staff tied to the back of the horse and sit on a stump. The air is sticky with a slight windchill. My eyes grow heavy with every passing second. I keep my gaze to the woods. I hear tents being set up but I don't care to look. Indra's group has left as I suggested and only a few warriors have stayed with us. A fire crackles behind me, I hear blades being sharpened, there's tent flaps opening and footsteps common closer to me. I nearly jump when he comes into view.

"Hey Wanheda. Learned that from the warriors. Here eat up." Murphy hands me a slice of meat.

"I'm not hungry." I respond looking back into the woods.

"Suit yourself." I hear him take a bite of the meat.
"Clarke you feeling ok? You look pale." He blocks my vision from the woods and stares into my eyes. He sways and his body shifts growing taller.

I feel his arm go around my back as I'm helped up.
"You are going to bed." He states walking me to a tent.
"You can't protect me passed out." He says as a tent flap opens. I feel myself dropped onto a thin mattress. I look up and the tent spins, warping in ways that it looks like a painting. I can hear Murphy grumble something before leaving, but I'm too preoccupied in the patterns. I raise my finger and trace the lines. It swoops up and crosses at a diagonal, it then stays at a horizontal line before swirling into a circle. My arm falls to my side numb as I feel exhaustion take over. I fall asleep watching vivid colors dance in my dreams.