The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 33

CLARKE POV
Indra's conversation with me chilled me to the bone. I have a second chance. I truly do. I guess my first thing to do is make sure Indra doesn't end up my enemy. She is one scary lady.
I try to avoid the spot where the assassins are tied up. If I see him I might feel guilty. I might feel bad for a murderer. That's what he is. That's what I am. Yet I'm the only one getting left without a scratch. I finally grab the courage to look at them. They're gagged and tied to a tree, all of them resistant. From what I heard after we'd taken them everyone would be fine with them gone, but not everyone. I know Octavia will hold this over me. I know my mother will blame me for killing our people. And I know I will blame myself until I leave the same way they will.
I walk over to Lincoln who's leaned against a tree. He looks to his people longingly.

"It'll never be the same will it." I say going to his side.

"It never will." He mutters.

"Am I doing the right thing? Please tell me there is another way to get through this. Tell me I can trade in something else for their lives." I beg feeling guilt overpower me.
He goes silent, knowing I can't do anything.

"The ambassadors agreed on this, yet Lexa wants them to rethink my case. What makes me so special. What makes my life worth more than theirs!" At this point my voice has grown louder, drawing the attention of the warriors and most of all the prisoners.

Indra catches the commotion and shouts seething.
"You're life may not be worth more than theirs, but your status is. You're death will cause a war far bigger than the massacre. You will cause a wave in a calm river, and that will not happen. You all,"
She breaks eye contact and scans the warriors .
"will not touch a hair on her head if you want to live through this." It's almost simultaneous as everyone shivers.
I give her a grateful smile that she doesn't reciprocate. Everyone stares to the ground or at me. I freeze not knowing what to do with the attention of soldiers, trained to kill any threat.
Lexa steps out of her tent, not knowing the squabble that just occurred. Daring anyone to oppose her, she climbs ontop of her horse.

"We leave now!" She shouts.
Her warriors shout and cheer as they all mount their own horses. I walk to the small clearing Lincoln put tied outs to and make a big jump to get onto the small horse. Once I've climbed on I've actually broken a sweat. My horse trots to Lexa as she leads the group.
She try's to grab my attention to say something, but I refuse to meet her eyes. I won't pull myself further into a hole I can't get out of.
When we reach the outskirts of the city you can already hear the rumbling. I can specifically hear Roan shouting orders at Gaia yells.
"Wait for our Heda!" 
I pull up my hood not wanting to be recognized.
The gates open as everyone cheers for our arrival. When we reach the city I choose to stand back and wait for Lincoln to come up. If someone chooses to attack me at least Lexa won't be caught in the crossfire. Octavia runs up to Lexa first stopping her. Lexa hops off her horse trying to keep up her mask in front of the ruckus of her people. Octavia looks wild as if she's been angry for days.

"How could you let this happen." She hisses.
Lexa meets her in a stoic walk.

"Let what happen? My people are safe as are yours. We are finally at peace Octavia, what more could you want." She questions thoughtfully.
Octavia takes an uneasy breathe.
"Clarke is dead." She hisses.
"She was killed by your Coalition."
I stare stunned. People cheer 'Death of Wanheda' while others look on scared, unsure of the reaction from their commander.
I can tell by the twitch of Lexa's hand she wants to turn around, but she doesn't.
"How do you know this." She whispers. It's so soft I can hardly make out the words.
"You should come with me." Octavia says guiding the way for Lexa. I hop off my horse and start to follow before Lincoln jumps in front of me.
"If what you say is true and your mother was apart of this, they can't know for her sake. Keep low." He states.
I nod and follow, head down, as he follows Lexa to the tower.

The throne room is bustling with Ambassadors shouting at each other while Gaia tries to calm them. I walk to the back of the room with Lincoln. This seems all too familiar.
Lexa silences the room walking to her throne. Everyone bows and rises as she sits, hurriedly.

"How do you know she's dead?" Lexa questions Octavia.

Lincoln walks up as support for Octavia. She looks at him longingly before pulling out my braided hair from her pocket.

"Two warriors came and delivered this to Gaia. They claimed to have killed her in favor of the Commander. They were the two warriors you had banished for ransacking a village last year." She tries to look strong.

"How are we sure it's hers?" Lexa argues. It's mine alright. I have a chunk of hair missing, cut by my own mother.

"That night I don't remember anything, but I know I was with Clarke. Then not long after I awaken she's missing." She insists.
Lexa's eyes shoot to mine, giving permission to announce my alive status. I bite my cheek before giving a stern nod.

"The great Wanheda is not dead!" She shouts.
"She aided me in my journey to Arkadia where we brought back the assassins! Their firearms will soon follow!" She bellows.
She adjusts her arm slightly, it would look like nothing to the untrained eye, but I know what she's asking for.
I cross the middle of the floor as I once had not long ago. Everyone gasps in awe. I sit at my spot as the Ambassador of Skaikru, taking in the reactions.

"So the bitch lives- again." Roan snickers. Lexa tenses about to put him in his place when I reply.

"That I do. I've ensured my people don't attack as they were going to before I left to meet them. They are a bomb about to explode, and I'm the only one who knows the safe code. It's really best I wasn't murdered." I say with a smirk. If Lexa has created a lie for me I might as well follow it. I settle down and see Octavia staring at me. Lincoln has brought her back away from the center, but she keeps her eyes trained on me.

"If there is truly nothing to discuss, this meeting is adjourned." Lexa enforces standing. Slowly each ambassador leaves with their warriors. All that's left is Lexa, Lincoln, and Octavia. When the doors close Octavia runs up hugging me.

"I thought you had died." She whispers not letting go.

She breaks the hug and stares at me. Before I can even smile back she slaps me across the cheek. I can already feel a bruise begin to blossom when I whip my head up.
I can hear Lexa scurry to the floor to protect me, but I don't let her near us.

"You didn't think to tell me you weren't dead!" She bears her teeth as she turns to Lincoln.
"And you didn't think to invite me?"

"I'm sorry, ok. It was all a spur of the moment kind of thing. I'll explain it all later-" I look the the warriors, still standing at the door.
"When there aren't as many eyes."
I hold her gaze as she nods softly. She grabs ahold of my forearm, and I of hers.
Octavia lets go of me and looks me in the eyes.
"Don't ever do that again." She commands punching me playfully in the arm. Her eyes have grown glossy and it takes all of me not to cry as well.
I nod and turn to Lincoln.
"Still sure this will work?" I say implying the assassins.
He nods letting me say what I really need to say to Octavia.

"Octavia, your brother's here. If you want to speak you can. His execution is scheduled for the next full moon." That was in a couple days, the same time Gaia will be handed the flame book and Titus will be killed.

"No I want to see him." She says sternly. Her whole exterior changes in a split second as I see the rage behind her eyes. Octavia has grown to be a grounder, a warrior, then Bellamy turns his back and kills her friends. I'd be angry as well, yet I don't know how she'll react to him dying.

"Octavia, are you really fine with him dying?" I ask the question everyone wants to hear, even Lexa.

"He brought this upon himself." She hisses before leaving. Lincoln follows her trail surly to comfort her. I take a breathe before recognizing Lexa to my side.

"This is the only way." I say more of a question.

"This is the only way." She repeats staring at me. I grab onto her hand and look at her.

"There will be a day when this won't hurt. When we can sit back and watch everything build up or be teared down with no care." She blinks back a tear.

"I really hope so Lexa."