The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 55

I plaster a stout smile on my lips and join Lexa beginning to walk. Her face is soft, in a calm expression, yet she doesn't seem to want to say anything.

"I know I should've told you what was going on." I say softly looking up at her.

"It's fine Clarke."
Her words are kind, but her tone is sharp.

"Ok then." I think better to keep away from the topic until she feels ready to speak. If I push too soon she may explode.

We walk silently as she weaves her way through the halls.
She stops abruptly and turns towards me.

"I'm not mad ok." Her face looks pained.
"I know I can't control you Clarke. I've long learned that. I just can't understand why you wouldn't at least leave a note. You could've been killed. You could've been kidnapped. Clarke you could've been gone."
Her words are well thought out and she seems more concerned than hurt. Her expression reminds me of my mother and sends a thrill of pain down my back.

"I understand ok. I shouldn't said something, but it was just so abrupt I couldn't help it. If you found out before I left you would've brought a whole army along." I try to defend myself but see it's not what she's looking for.
I bite my cheek and pull her into a hug.
My chin rests on her shoulder and she slowly wraps her arms around my waist.

"I won't do it again. I swear it." I whisper feeling her grip steadily.

She doesn't say anything and we stay there for a bit. Her warmth keeps me comfortable and she's strong enough to hold me up. Slowly she loosens her grip and I turn my head to hers. I rise to my toes and plant a kiss on her forehead, wavering for a moment.

"Let's just try and leave here as soon as possible." I whisper trying to lighten the mood.

"As long as you don't run off again." She smiles.

She holds onto my hands and leads me into the next hallway where a guard is planted outside a door. With a stout nod he moves aside opening the door to Kane looking like a mad man.
He sits up abruptly and crosses his desk to face us.
Lexa's last lingering fingers let go of my hand and are placed formally behind her back.

"I thought it best the people not see me. I don't know what kind of chaos would take place should they see the person who was supposed to lead, them fail them." His voice is thick with guilt and his bags aren't helping his case.

"I need you. My mother isn't doing well. Hell she's doing awfully. I don't even know how you could help, but you're the only other person who was close to her." I ramble a bit not prepared for what I was going to ask him.

"I'm not sure Abby wants to see me right now." He says sternly.

"Well I don't want to see her. Please Marcus." I soften at the end of my sentence. I still care about my mother, I'm just not sure I like her anymore.

He nods softly and sets off before any of us can follow.

Lexa faces the guard and gives a nod in the direction Kane went off in, resulting in the guard leaving to protect Kane.
I stand quietly, not sure what I'm waiting for when Lexa looks at me, forcing my eyes to keep trained on hers.

I feel a rise of heat in my throat and blurt out, "Lexa do you love me?"
Silence.

"Clarke. Of course I care about you. I wouldn't be doing all of this if I hadn't. I-"

I cut her off feeling my temper rise.
"That's not what I asked."

She looks at me almost begging me to let this go. But I persist.

Her eyes grow glossy as she looks upwards.
"Clarke I care about you more than you can understand." My eyes pointedly reach hers. I know this is difficult for her to admit and I know her leadership generally prohibits this, but I need to know.
"Clarke." She pauses. "I love you." Her body trembles while her eyes stay trained on me.

I feel a smile purse through my lips and I wipe away a tear of my own.
"I love you too Commander." I say lowly pressing my lips against her own.

I break the short kiss and give her a nod. We don't have much time to worry about ourselves, but the time we do have is always worth it.

I lead the way as we trudge back to the cafeteria. My hearts pounding in my chest, but I know I still have to work.

Lincoln is the only one outside the doors when we reach the entrance. He's crossed his arms over his chest, and has a smug look on his face.

Before we can even greet he opens the door, and things are surprisingly calmer than before. I do a quick scan of the room before noticing my mothers no where to be seen.

"Monty?" I tap his shoulder finding him near a station full of glasses of water.

"Oh hey Clarke! Things have de escalated slowly, but we're doing our best." His forehead is wrinkled but his face shows off a readiness I haven't seen in a while.

"Thanks Monty. Do you know where my mother went?" I ask veering straight to the topic.

He looks to Lincoln for a moment before turning his head slightly away.

"Kane had to drag her out with one of the Commander's guards. I don't know where they went, but I assume they went into a locked room." He whispers, his face growing red.

"Thank you, so much Monty." I give him a smile and nod towards Lexa, who's speaking to one of her warriors.

She deftly slides to me her ear towards my face.
"They left. Not sure where."

"I heard they were headed somewhere north of here. Possibly an office." She states her eyes scanning the room.

"That could be anywhere. Main bedrooms are north."
I shake my head in frustration.

"Let's start looking then." Lexa states walking out the doors.

I let out a huff of air and follow her down the maze of rooms and hallways.