The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 43

As I catch my breathe Murphy fills me in on the whole "A.L.I.E" situation on Camp Jaha. Apparently an AI took over the camp just as Murphy and Emori ran leaving the so called mess. I try to wrap my brain around all this new information as I walk back to Polis.

"Why didn't my mother tell me anything about this?" I ask suddenly feeling forgotten.

"It seems whatever was between you both fizzled into madness. She was one of the first to take the chip, claiming it took away all her pain." Murphy states as emotionless as he always is.

"It messes with your brain. Brings you to a place called the City of Light. It took my brother with, he practically killed himself with no hesitation."
Emori says glumly. It seems she shows enough of her pain for the both of them.

"I'm sorry." I say softly, even though I know this wasn't my fault for once.

"Thanks, it's fine really." She whispers.

It's silent as we walk back to the gates, only now do I realize how far I ran off. Every now and then we freeze at the sound of a twig snapping, just to find a small woodland creature hopping its way through. The woods are surprisingly peaceful when your not a grounder enemy. My body shivers as I recall how many of my people were killed from wandering where they shouldn't have. One dagger to the heart, spear to the chest, all dead by a single warrior.
I wonder how the mountain men would've felt if I hadn't
taken their lives.
I'd avoided the truth for three months in the wilderness.
Avoided the truth in my time at Polis.
Avoided the truth when I mourned for what I thought was Lexa's death.
I felt my body deteriorate at that time, imagine how they felt.
Children choking on their own breathe.
People watching their loved ones die before themselves.
The president as I plant a bullet in his heart.
All dead.

I know I can't pity myself any longer, that's all I've done here. But I can't live my life pretending it never happened.
I must do better
We will do better.

My body is stiff as we approach the gates. Immediately Emori and Murphy stiffen in a stance to run, as a grounder aims an arrow at my chest.

"You have no business with your friends, Wanheda." She growls.

"I am an ambassador of Skaikru. I am here on behalf of Lexa com Trikru." I shout with the authority I can muster.
"Please let us through." I say softer.

I can see the warrior about to yell something when the gates are opened. Indra stands in the opening, a scowl masked on her face.
Cautiously I walk blocking Emori and Murphy from the path of an arrow, and follow Indra towards the tower.

"How's Lexa?" I ask worriedly.

"Recovering." She spits.

"Indra what is it? I understand you hating me before, but now it seems far fetched." I demand an answer. I'm done playing these 'I hate you, here's some advice' games with her.
She holts, her body like a statue.

"It's best you realize how much Lexa is truly doing for you. Not everyone agrees on your ability to breathe, let alone be an ambassador." She hisses looking onward.

I bite my tongue. Great more indirect threats. At least this one's of value.

"You can escort yourself, and your guests, to your room." She huffs leaving me, proving how anyone can now harm us if they please.

I inhale shakily and put on a stout smile for Emori and Murphy.
"Let's go."

We go up the lift and to my bedroom, careful to let the grounders pass around us. It seems that they also got the hint about my position here.
Prisoner—>guest—>ambassador.
Can't blame them for thinking I'm Lexa's weakness.
I honestly am.
As we enter my room Emori gasps at the sight.