"Tell me, what's so special about birthdays?" I asked but to no one in particular. I am here by myself at the playground, contemplating about everything. The day I couldn't understand the most had arrived and everything about this day suffocates me.
It sucks. Really sucks.
During this specific day of the year, I feel how unspecial I am. As I stare at the little children playing happily with their friends, my mind drifted off to how I celebrated my birthdays before. It has always been sad and lonely, even though I have my friends to celebrate with.
To be completely honest, the very moment I opened my eyes today and saw some messages from those people I love, I cried. Funny how simple messages can make me cry like a kid but you can't blame me for it, I have never experienced such grand birthday celebrations on my entire life, I barely even feel the relevance of my existence to anyone.
Exactly on this day marks my 17th year on this world. Imagine spending your entire life in such a pitiful way, where you grew up with many good friends but still feel alone during your breakdowns, where you feel so abandoned even though you're living with an admiring family and feel useless even if you've achieved a lot. My life is too depressing, right?
As I walk down the streets, my mind is clouded from thoughts. I have always been described as a quiet person but contrary to that, my mind is actually loud, only a few knew about it. Screw me for overthinking a lot and screw my anxiety for making everything worse.
I made my way to my hiding placeㅡa specific part of a park where there are only few people roaming around. I sat down on the bench, leaning my head back as I stare at the gloomy sky. The rain is about to fall and at that thought, my heart jumped a bit. The sky must've been trying to greet me through the rain, which is my favorite phenomenon in this world.
I stared deeply into the sky with my mind wandering around when all of a sudden, a pair of huge hands covered my eyes, knocking me back to reality. I quickly held the person's wrist and by feeling the bracelet, I figured out who it is right away.
"Aren't you busy, Na Jaemin?" I asked with my eyes still covered by his hands. I heared him groan and a chuckle left my lips as he remove his hands from my eyes. I turned to look at him and all the negativity I have been feeling vanished instantly.
Man, how can he easily do that?
"I knew you would be here." Jaemin mumbled as he slumped down beside me. He stared at me quietly, making me feel anxious of what he was thinking.
This guy sitting beside me is the person I looked up to the most. He's the person whose smile could easily make me smile, whose laugh could make me laugh and whose happiness is my happiness. He's my human definition of happiness and my nepenthe.
"Happy birthday!" He exclaimed happily.
"You came all the way here just to greet me?" I chuckled, lightly hitting his arm.
"It's more special if it's personal." He smiled. "I'm here to make you smile and also to make you feel how special you are."
"You don't have to do that."
"You don't tell me what to do, young lady." He said, with a serious voice making me raise my brows at him. He then smiled. "Come on, let me make you feel how great it is to live."
Before I could complain, Jaemin took my wrist and dragged me. He was walking ahead of me and I stared at his back, admiring how manly he look like but his personality was still a bit childish. He's cute and manly at the same time.
He brought me to an ice cream shop, making me sit and wait while he gets me an ice cream. Minutes later he came back and handed me my favorite ice cream flavor.
