Accidental Avatar 3.5: The Burn Book

Omae wa mou shindeiru

"Where is the Firelord?!" Aang demanded.

"You know," Azula sighed. "It is polite to actually die when I kill you. Like that waterbender girl that Zuko has been pining over."

"He doesn't get to pine", I snapped, trying to gauge how hard I'd have to throw my pick to hit her from across the room. "He is the one that kept her from us then betrayed her and let you kill her. And, no, that doesn't mean you're off the hook for killing her!"

I decided against throwing my pick, choosing instead to start walking over to her... menacingly...

"Anyhow," Azula continued. "I won't tell you where my father is."

"True, you probably don't get to know important things," Toph sneered.

"Isn't this the part where she gets all offended? You say don't lie to us, and she does anyway?" I asked, pointing at Toph.

"And who am I?" Azula got offended. "The cat's mother?"

"Offended," I smirked at her.

"Stop wasting our time and give us the information," Sokka demanded. "You're powerless right now, so you're in no position to refuse."

I grinned at that. I like the prospect of beating this ... being... to a messy pulp. Even when dead, Amaya still stops me from being rude around the minors.

"And stick to the truth," Toph added. "I'll be able to tell if you're lying."

"Don't lie," I deadpanned.

"Are you sure?" Azula asked. "I'm a pretty good liar. I am a 400-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings," she deadpanned.

"And the lie," I hefted the war pick.

"Okay, you're good, I admit it," Toph bent the earth underneath Azula so that it encased her, leaving only her head. "But you really ought to consider telling the truth anyway."

"See, you killed someone I cared about," I added. "And I have precious few of those, so I will have no problem smashing your head in and drinking from your skull like a goblet."

Azula gave a small smirk as the stone trap shattered. Azula then had the audacity to keep smirking as she brushed some rubble off her shoulder.

"When I left Ba Sing Se, I brought home some souvenirs," she bragged.

"Minn vili drykka mjøðr ór ykkarr Hauss," I growled.

Two Dai Li agents dropped from the ceiling and land between the princess and me.

"Dai Li agents," she seemed so smug.

I just wanted to wipe that smug, poo-eating grin off her face with forty grit sandpaper. Unfortunately, I didn't have any with me, so my war pic would have to do.

"Scht varrun fremr goten!" I yelled as I charged.

Aang sent forth a blast of wind too. I jumped, catching the wind and letting it carry me towards my enemies. Of course, the Dai Li both bend a stone wall in front and completely nullify the attack. They then happened to drop their defences, allowing me to attack them directly.

"Skreyja sipill slefja ormstunga kamphundr daufi fretr!" I accented each word with a swing of my pick.

Of course, these minions weren't my real target, but they kind of got in my way. Any wall or block they tried to throw up, my anti-armour weapon just punched right through it. It was glorious.