𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐈𝐓 a thomas shelby fanfiction [✓]

xxvi

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX | morbid

★

Birmingham 1921

It was morbid. Everything was utterly heart wrenching. The sky was a bleak shade of gray, almost as if it knew. The only thing missing was tears that the clouds should've shed.

It felt odd, especially for Lucie, which was odd in itself. Looking around at everyone dressed in black, encircling his grave.

Ada was wrapped in Polly's arms looking down at her husbands grave, Esme had her head resting on Johns shoulder. Their youngest in Johns arms after she began crying. Esme shot a sorrowful glance at Lucie, who's eyes were glassy and pained.

Thomas had Lucie pulled into his side, letting her hug into his warmth. He could hear her sniffle and shake against him. He pulled her in tighter and whispered to her.

"You're okay Love, it's okay."

"I know it's silly but, he felt like a part of my life, because of Matthew, you know. Sorry." Lucie smiled and moved away from Thomas, assuming he didn't want to listen to her pity party.

Thomas pulled her straight back to him, kissing the top of her head. "Shh, you don't need to explain, come on it's okay."

Thomas held her close as the priest carried on speaking over his grave. It felt like forever until it was Thomas' turn to speak. He left a small kiss on top of Lucie's head before letting her go to begin speaking.

"I promised my friend Freddie Thorne, that I'd say a few words over his grave." Thomas began, Lucie stood watching him, smiling softly.

"I made this promise before he became my brother in law, when we were in France. But in the end, it wasn't the war that took Freddie, pestilence did. Now he has passed on his soul to a new generation, before he was cruelly taken from us."

When the service finished, Lucie walked alongside Esme, leaving John to fend for himself with the children, which probably wasn't the smartest idea.

"So, how is everything between you two?" Esme asked, whilst the pair wandered around the grave yard, looking for a bench to sit on.

"It's been good, yeh, good." Lucie replied looking around. Esme stopped in her tracks, holding onto Lucie.

"No what's wrong, what is it." Lucie knew Esme wouldn't leave without knowing, after all, what are best friends for.

"Look it's just that, it's been 2 years since Kimber died, two years. I'm not even his. I'm just a girl that he sleeps with, but i'm not his whore because it's more than that. Well at least I think it is." Lucie stopped speaking, looking down at her hands which played with the button on her black coat.

"Esme, what if he doesn't love me? What if he never did? Esme what do I do?" Lucie heard the snow behind her crunch, yet she took no notice, instead she listened intently to Esme's words.

"Look, Luce. Of course he loves you. Just talk to him about it alright. I'm always here and wanting to slap a Shelby. It's okay, everything happens for a reason." Esme laughed and let Lucie place her head on her shoulder.

"I guess you're right. But Esme, if he has, if he's stopped loving me. I'll be broken. I mean I was a wreck when my brothers died, but if I loose Tommy? I've never loved anyone as much as I love him." Lucie let a few tears slip from her eyes.

When Lucie opened her eyes, she could see Thomas coming her way. He looked like a man on a mission. Esme got up from the bench and told Lucie she needed to find John before he dropped one of the kids. Lucie tried to dry her puffed red eyes.

Thomas stood in front of Lucie, his cigarette hanging from his lips. He never spoke, instead he was waiting for Lucie to lift her head up. It was odd. He knew she was upset about Freddie's passing but this felt different.

Thomas pulled on his pant legs before sitting beside Lucie on the bench. He took a drag from his cigarette and then silently offered it to Lucie. She lifted her head, but looked straightforward whilst blowing smoke from the cigarette she then handed back to Thomas. He flung it straight onto the floor.

"I'm sorry this had to happen. But it's going to be fine. I'm sure Johns got a handkerchief you could borrow." Thomas wrapped an arm around Lucie and waited for her reply. Which he didn't receive.

"Is everything alright?" Thomas asked once more. "Luce, will you look at me."

Lucie lifted up her head, the red blotches under her eyes were worse that earlier, and Thomas could tell these tears weren't shed because of Freddie's passing. They gazed into each other's eyes, nobody spoke.

Polly could see the pair sat with one another, and she knew what was going to happen. Thomas had spoken to Polly recently. A conversation she never thought to hear.

"Aunt Pol, I'm afraid." Thomas began.

"The day I hear that Thomas Shelby is afraid? Pigs will be flying tomorrow." Polly laughed.

"I'm serious, if I ask. What if she says no? It's been two years of sneaking around, what if she's sick of it all? Sick of me!" Thomas' voice was becoming louder and louder. Polly could distinctively remember this sentence.

"Tommy, do you still want to be with me?" Lucie's voice trembled as she let the words tumble from her lips.

"More than anything."