Part 30

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"He was hurt .. So he hurt her
She was hurt..  will she hurt him ??"

Beads of sweat formed on his forehead.. Juhi's words kept ringing in his ears. He numbed his pain by getting high on alcohol but in turn hurt her with his words.. All he wanted to do now was knock his mind off so he gulped down the remaining whiskey from the bottle and crashed on the couch nearby ..

Juhi broke down crying inconsolably.. How could 'her' Dr Shashank think of her like that.. Was their love so shallow.. he hurt her.. he hurt her really really bad...
Crying her heart out she curled her self on the sofa and fell asleep...

The gloomy weather next morning perfectly reflected their moods as well.. Juhi woke up with a heavy heart and mind in shards.. swollen red puffy eyes and a bad headache.. Rahul who walked in from the hospital noticed her state and got worried..
"Juhi.. what happened.. why have you been crying.. he asked
"It's nothing, Rahul.. I'm fine " she said
"just look at yourself in the mirror .. see what you've done to yourself" he said
" don't bother Rahul.. I am not used to this concern and I don't want to get used to it.. Please leave me alone.. she said and walked into the washroom
Standing in front of the mirror she saw herself and realised why Rahul got so worked up seeing her.. Blood shot red , puffy , swollen eyes.. The dark circles revealed the sleepless night, coupled with the pools of tears ....
She was broken..
Her only question was how could Shashank think that she would leave him just like that... and that ripped apart her heart..

Juhi felt a little better after the hot shower.. She behaved normal in the presence of Rahul.. She didn't want to give Rahul a chance to question her further...
Shashank on the other side woke up to a morning he didn't want to .. swollen eyes , heavy heart and a terrible hangover..
The clock struck 10.. His head hammered along with it.. he held his head in both the hands and moaned.. gradually last nights events unfolded in front of his eyes.. and her parting words.. My god what have I done.. he thought..
"Because of my insecurities I doubted her without even listening to her side of the story.. What if she was genuinely unable to get in touch with me that night.. maybe I was wrong.. maybe she was right.. maybe...." he moaned holding his head
" Why the hell did i drink so much last night..
I must apologise to Juhi.. I have hurt her really bad..."
Picking up his phone he dialled her number..
As the phone kept ringing on the other end his heart thudded against his chest...
"Pick up the phone Juhi.. Please pick up the phone.."
A lone tear drop rolled down his eyes when there was no response on the other end..

On the other side, Juhi had locked herself up in the room after Rahul left for office.. Tears failed to stop rolling down her cheeks as she thought about last night's conversation..
She was just not able to digest the fact that Shashank doubted her.. She remembered her last sentence.. Does she really hate him... She nodded her head in negation.. No Dr Shashank I love you.. but I can never forgive you for what you said.. Since her phone was on silent mode she didn't notice Shashank's call..

A while later she remembered she had to follow up on one of her patient who was scheduled for discharge that day.. She picked up her phone and her heart skipped a beat seeing Shashank's missed call.. So he called her.. she thought
Was it to apologise or again speak nasty things about her.. She wasn't going to take it lightly this time.. There is something called self respect.. she reminded herself

She went back and called Sis. Philo..
Sis. Philo updated her with the way the patient was progressing and also mentioned that they were waiting for Dr Shashank to sign the discharge summary.. Juhi was taken aback to hear that Shashank had not reached hospital.. It was past 12 noon.. She just asked Sis. Philo to keep her posted and contact her if need be.. and hung the call..
Despite her anger, she began to worry .. Just hope he is fine.. she thought..

Shashank sat rooted at the same spot clutching his head.. His phone rang.. it was from the hospital
Hello Dr Shashank.. Sis Philo said
Good morning Sis . Philo
Sensing his heavy voice, she asked " Are you ok doctor.. "
Ignoring her question, he said " I'm not sure if I'll be coming to the hospital today, Sis. Philo.. Please ask Dr Mehta to sign any discharge summary's on my behalf.. And if there is anything important call me up..
Sure Doctor...
Dr Juhi's patient is scheduled for discharge today.. She just called to enquire about the same.. she said
So Juhi called the hospital.. he thought
Doctor are you ok.. she asked again with concern
Thank you Sis Philo.. he said disconnecting the call

After a lot of contemplation, he decided to call Juhi again
He dialled her number.. On the eight ring she answered the call
"Juhi..... "he said
Juhi shut her eyes tight absorbing the way her name sounded when he said it.. There was deafening silence
Composing herself she spoke " Yes Dr Shashank.. What do you have to say now..."
"Juhi .. I'm so so sorry for all that I have said last night.. I should have listened to you before judging you.. My insecurities and the fear of loosing you took over my rationality... I was worried sick for you Juhi.. I was worried Rahul would hurt you again.. " he sobbed "Please forgive me Juhi.. Please .. I love you .." he broke down crying
Juhi sat lifeless clutching the phone to her ear with tears continuously streaming down her face listening to him..
Gathering some courage not to break down in front of him, she spoke in a formal tone..
" You know Dr Shashank, you hurt me more than Rahul did.. How much I pleaded you to listen to me just once... but no.. you had already formed your opinion.. I gave you everything that I had .. you have touched me , seen me and felt me like no one ever did .. I felt special.. very special .. but now you ruined it all.. "
"I'm sorry Juhi.." he sobbed
"When there is no trust , there can never be an 'Us' Dr Shashank"
"Juhi I trust you more than I trust myself ..you know it too.. but I was so drunk last night that I wasn't in my senses.. I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you.. and that was the stupid thing I did..
I never meant anything I said Juhi.. It was my drunkenness.. and I am fully to be blamed for it.. Punish me the way you want Juhi but please don't hate me.. I .. I won't be able to handle it..." his voice trembled

"Again you are only thinking about yourself Dr Shashank.. Your hurt, your feelings, your insecurities, your emotions just your things..
what about my feelings.. You pass such nasty statements and come back in the morning saying sorry and you expect me to forgive ... funny isn't it.. "
"Juhi you are getting it wrong.. I never meant it that way"
"No Dr Shashank.. I'm getting it all right this time.. I think we both need a break from each other.. I have always been hurt a lot from every single relationship.. I thought ours was different but I was so wrong.." her voice cracked..
"I don't deserve to get kicked like a football according to everyone's whims and fancies
I need a break and I need my space.. to help me decide what I want.. I hope you understand Dr Shashank.."
Shashank was numb hearing every word she spoke..
"I hope you will respect my views ..
Goodbye Dr Shashank.. "
There was an eerie silence.. She waited for him to atleast say a word or hang up the phone but he didn't.. Her finger refused to move to disconnect the call.. The silence spoke of hundreds of sorry's , miss you's , please forgive me's, I love you's , I love you too's ...
Mustering courage she clicked the end button and the line went dead..

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