Underwater (kiribaku/bakushima)

66

Bakugou's POV:

It wasn't until late at night,
Kirishima broke down.

I woke up so someone shaking my shoulders harshly. Opening my eyes a little, Kiri had both hands rested on my shoulder, shaking me awake. I sat up quickly. This is the only response I got from him since a few hours ago.

"Hey," I calmed, as Kirishima still had a tight grip on my arm and was shakily moving it back and forth. "I'm awake, it's okay, it's okay."
I unhooked his arms, but Kirishima reached for them again.

"It's okay, I'm awake, Eijirou." I wrapped my arms around him, making sure the smaller boy knew I was there.
He tensed up further and further, until he let it out with a loud sob.

He clung onto my shirt, fingernails digging further and further until the ripped my skin.
But I didn't care.
I only cared about Eijirou.

I know he's alive, but I don't want to lose him again.

Soon, Kirishima's sobs got louder until he was screaming I into my chest. Tears pricked my eyes too. Seeing him like this gave me the worst possible feeling.
Knowing I could have done something, made it worse.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled into my chest. They were the first words I heard form him.
Apologising.
His voice was raspy, and I was worried it was really going to bleed, but I could only hold him in that moment.

"Don't apologise. I'm sorry, for not doing anything. I recognised the signs but didn't do anything." Tears started making there way down my face too. Eijirou was crying loudly, so I'm assuming it woke up my mom.

She cracked open the door, but I gave her a glare, trying to tell her that we needed to be alone. She gave me a worried look but closed the door.

Kirishima continued crying, so much that he was so worn out he couldn't even keep himself in a sitting position, but he didn't stop.
"I..." he managed to choke out.

Even the tone of his voice made tears spring back to my eyes.

"I hate myself..."

I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. What could I say?

I wrapped the blanket tighter around his back and kissed his forehead gently. "I don't hate you."

He sniffed. "Why? I don't understand... I'm terrible. A-all I do is make you sad, I'm doing it
r-right now.." his iron grip on my shirt returned.

"No you don't. You make me so happy.." I whispered, trying to sooth him.

"No I don't...!" Kirishima wouldn't look at me.
I tried to help him calm down so we could talk about it properly.

"Yes you do-"

"NO I DON'T!" He screamed, catching me off guard.
"I don't understand you, Bakugou!"

"You don't have to understand-"

"Yes I do! How am I supposed to except that you you like me after years of everyone hating me? After years of me hating me! I don't understand, I don't understand, I don't understand!" He pulled at his own hair, shaking his head.

I tried to reassure him. "It's okay, now. I'm here-"

"It's not okay now! You think just because you pulled me out means that it's over? That everything's okay now? I'll do it again!
I always... a-always do it again..."
The redhead broke down into tears again.

I don't know what to do.
Tears rolled down my face as I tried to choke them back.

How long has he been doing this?
How long has he felt this way?
How long has he tried to hide it?