Underwater (kiribaku/bakushima)

70

Kirishima's POV:

"C'mon Katsuki, you know I have to do this."
I said desperately. He just glared.
"Eijirou, listen. You've been doing so good. You don't need to go back-"

"That's not why!" I said, feeling hurt. "I'm not going back to restart things. You know how much it means to me that I got this far. I'm going back to end it. I have to end it, Katsuki."
I calmed a little, though I felt tears prick my eyes.
"Ei, I'm sorry. You know how dangerous it is."
He pulled my into a hug, and I rested my chin on his shoulder, sighing.

"I'll keep my phone with me. And you can wait in the car." I tried. Katsuki still didn't look satisfied.
"What's the problem with me coming with you? You'll be safe, things don't have to get violent."

"I need to do this alone." I said. Weather Katsuki agreed or not, I had to do this. I need to be strong.
"Fine. But you have fifteen minutes, if you're not back by then, I'm coming to get you. Also, wear a scarf! It's freezing!" He scolded, though I felt touched that he had trusted me with this.

"Thank you, Katsuki." I said, planing a kiss on his lips. He tried to keep it for as long as possible, but then Mrs. Mitsuki looked into the living room.
"O-oh! Am I interrupting something?"

"M-Mom! Get the fuck out!" Katsuki screamed, blushing in embarrassment. Me and Mrs. Mitsuki laughed at him.

"Okay, put this on." He said, changing the subject and wrapping a scarf around my neck.
"Geez, it's still somehow cold. Fucking weather." He mumbled as he adjusted it.

I gave him a peck on the lips again.
"Mom! We're going! Come on!" He yelled, and Mrs. Mitsuki hurried over to us.

The car drive was weird for me. Katsuki sat in the front seat so he couldn't hold my hand.
I was worried about overthinking, since it's something I do so often but, at the time, I... couldn't really think at all.

"Okay. I'm staying right here. Call me if you need anything Alright? Be back in fifteen or I'll-" I cut his worries off with a kiss.
"I know. I promise I'll be back soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The view over the town was beautiful. There wasn't any icicles at this time of year, but we had snow a few days ago. The air was fresh and crisp, enough to calm me completely.

"Knew you'd pussy out." Ryan spoke from behind me. I could hear the crunching of the snow as he walked slowly. I stood up, but didn't face him. I ignored his comment, and spoke.

"It's not winter anymore..." turning around to face him, I looked him straight in the eyes.

"...but it's still cold."

Ryan gave me an irritated look. "The fuck are you talking about? 'N why the hell did you call me here?" He sneered.
"Get lonely? Tired of your f*g boyfriend?"

I didn't say anything, but stared him in his eyes. He looked taken aback.
"You gunna do it again, huh? 'Cause you couldn't even kill yourself right las time? Gunna say goodbye again?" He mocked, though, there was a weird emotion embedded on his face.

"No." I said simply. "I'm not going to kill myself. And I didn't pussy out. Bakugou pulled me out." I said, deciding the best way to talk to him would be through the truth.

His eyes widened. Then he glared. "You're lying."
But when I didn't answer him, his face turned back to some sick-scared look.

"What? You trying to blame it on me?! Is that what it is?!" Ryan screamed, turning his fear to outrage.

However, I know when Ryan is scared.
And, even if it seems impossible, it's more common then you would think.

"I'm not blaming it on you. I'm here just to talk." I told him calmly. This is the first time I have ever talked to Ryan like this.

"I don't want to talk!" He screamed, putting his hands over his ears. Ryan was always childish. I took a step forward, surprising him a little. He pulled his hands away and watched me.

"I thought we were friends," I said, not breaking eye contact. Ryan's eyes shot away for a moment, but then back to me. It was quick, but I noticed it.

"No you didn't! You just followed me around because you were lonely!" He yelled, a scary look on his face.

"I thought we were the same." I said, taking another step forward and reaching a hand out. He smacked it away, but I did it again.

Finally, my hand reached his forehead, pulling back his hair and revealing a bruise hidden behind. He smacked my hands away, but I saw.
"It was your mom again. We were similar. But we reacted differently." I said.

Ryan's face went red in shame. "Get the fuck off me! You knew we were never friends! Your not that fucking stupid, Ei!" He screamed, looking both embarrassed and mad.

"Then why did you bring me here?" I gestured my hand around. He only looked more angered.

He huffed, not knowing what to say.

"I only figured it out a while ago. I know I'm messed up. I know I'm not good at relationships. But, the way you treated me was wrong." I said, drawing my eyebrows together.

There was silence. Then a long breeze. I could feel it moving my hair, gently over my shoulders. I could also see the dark bruise on Ryan's head. He tried so desperately to hide it.

"It's not my fault you were a loser." I growled, though he had calmed down.

"My dad hit me. Your mom screamed at you. We were both hurt. And both of us used unhealthy ways of coping with that-"

"You don't know shit about me!" Ryan screamed, regaining his anger.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you, Ei-chan!" His voice broke.

I just looked at him. He calmed back down after a few seconds, but he was panting from his outburst.

"I thought of you as my close friend. I thought the hits, kicks, bruises, were just ways of telling me I messed up. I thought you knew best, and even if you knock me down so far that I detested living, that deep down you did it out of love. I was wrong. I was your selfish way of coping. But, even if I shouldn't have, I saw human in you," I took another step closer, and Ryan looked agitated. "I saw a scared boy with the same problems as me. I saw someone, even if it was only for a second, who cared about me. You're not a villain. But you are far from a hero."

He was silent. Completely still. Everything was.

"...I hate you, Ei-chan." His voice cracked more this time.

"This is goodbye. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to die." I said.

Before I left, I wrapped my arms around him.
He tried to push me off, argued and screamed at me, but I stayed clinging to him, until he calmed.

What surprised me the most, was that he laid a hand on my head. Only for a second, but he still did it.

"You'll never forgive me, will you?" He said quietly. I let go of him.

"No." I said. Ryan looked at the ground and said nothing.

"Things could have been different." I told him.
"But I have to go now. I have people who care about me waiting."

Ryan stayed in place, still staring at the small pieces of snow under him.
There was grass and new flowers starting to grow in its place.

I turned around and walked away.
This time, I wasn't the one who was left staring after him.

[Authors Notes!]
This isn't the last chapter, that will be posted tomorrow instead.
What are your opinions of Ryan after reading this?
Obviously, he's a terrible guy. But there was something more. Of course, that doesn't excuse any of his behaviours.
See you tomorrow!💕💕💕💕