Bleeding Souls (Daryl Dixon)

42. Take the Cowards Way?

I screamed out in agony as Philip took the whip to my back once again. With my shirt ripped from my body and my pants have been removed, all I was left in was my underwear and my bra.

Philip had me hanging from my hands and my legs were tied to keep me from moving too much while he abused me.

I hear Philip walk around to face me. He lifted my chin up with his hand and made me look at him. "I want you to know... if you hadn't killed my men out there, I probably would have just had my way with you and then killed you... but now... now I'm taking my time and I'm gonna cherish this moment I have with you." Philip says to me in a scary and calm voice.

I looked into his eyes and a part of me wanted to fight back. Hit him in the face with mine or lean forward and take a bite out of his face, but I couldn't. I deserved this. Merle died because of me. I should have knocked him out with Michonne and went on my own. Merle died because of me and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Thankfully, my life wouldn't be that long.

Philip dropped my head and chuckled. "I'll be back. I gotta go visit my other blonde lady for the day." Philip says to me. I squint my eyes in confusion.

What the hell did he mean by that?

I dropped my head as I heard the door shut and lock. I could feel the blood leaving every wound on my body and traveling down to make a pool below me. My stomach, legs and back were covered in cuts. Either from the whip or his knife that he loved so much.

I let out a whimper, but quickly shook my head and took a deep breath. "You deserve this shit. Don't cry about it." I say to myself quietly.

I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep.

I open my eyes, but I was no longer in that room. I was covered in clothes, but the room was completely black. "Hello?" I called out. No one answers.

I start walking and it sounds like water is moving beneath my feet, but there isn't any water.

"Hello?" I call out louder this time.

Still no answer.

I almost jump as high as a cat when I hear someone clear their throat. I turn around and see Merle. Standing there with a bullet hole in him, some of his fingers missing.

"Merle?" I ask in a soft voice. Merle looks at me and chuckles. "Damn, Blondie. Thought you were tougher than this. What happened?" Merle asks me. I look down at my feet and feel the guilt crawling back inside of me.

I start to breath heavy. "I got you killed. You should have never been out here. I killed the last piece of Daryl's life. I did that. There's no going back." I say to him. I look back up and I see Merle with a curious face.

"What am I supposed to do? Fight and then go back home and try to make Daryl understand?" I ask Merle. Merle just stares at me.

I drop down to the ground and shrug my shoulders. I look into his light blue eyes and Merle just continues to look into mine. "What am I supposed to do?" I ask him in almost a whisper. He walks over to me and sits down in front of me.

"I can't tell you how Daryl is going to react. But, I can promise you that he loves you and you have other people at that prison who love the hell out of you. Giving up and not fighting. That is what cowards do. Even if you know that in the end... you will die. At least die knowing you tried." Merle says to me.