Something Has to Change
Underwater_Alien
Something has to change.
Tonight marks the fifth time Max has come to Neil’s door drunk. So drunk he can hardly stand. The fifth time he’s knocked loud enough to wake the dead, the fifth time he’s stumbled into the small apartment rambling about something or other, and the fifth time Neil has had to check him for signs of alcohol poisoning before sitting him on the couch with a glass of water and a warm blanket. He can’t keep doing this, he thinks. He has his own life to manage. Is he Max’s best friend or his babysitter?
Neil wants to be angry. He has started staying awake on Friday nights, anxiously waiting by the door, staring into his coffee cup and watching the weak overhead light dance on the liquid surface. He checks the time, does a few silent laps around the kitchen to shake off the nerves, and sits back down. It never works, and he’s as restless as ever until around two or three a.m. when he hears the sound that signals Max’s arrival. Neil puts down his cup and opens the door, ready to scold Max for being irresponsible and stupid. He wants to raise his voice- make it clear this will be the last time it ever happens and if he sees Max on his front step again he’s not letting him in- but something stops him every time. Something about Max’s vulnerability, or the way he looks at Neil like he makes him happier than anything else in the world. And Neil wants to be angry, but he just can’t.
Tonight it is the same. Max is sprawled across Neil’s cheap grey couch, Neil is in the other room taking deep breaths, and they both know, somehow, that this really will be the last time.
“She told me I’m...annoying. Can you believe that? Neil, do you think I’m annoying?” Max takes another sip of his water and burps.
“Incredibly,” Neil sighs, walking back through the door frame. “But you’re lucky I take care of you anyway.” Max laughs mirthlessly.
“Fuckin… girls, man.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Neil raises an eyebrow. “Did something happen between you and Cass?”
Max doesn’t reply, and Neil realizes that the last time he saw the two of them together was in a photo Cass posted online two weeks ago. They had both been smiling in the picture, but Neil has known Max since they were children and could instantly tell his best friend was faking it. But he hasn’t connected the dots until now.
“Max?” He says tentatively. “Are you all right?”
He inches closer to the couch, barely able to see in the low light, and realizes something else.
Max is crying.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Max says quietly, wiping his face.
“Bullshit.” Neil says without thinking.
“No, I am...We just fight so much.” Neil remembers being on the phone with Max a week ago and hearing muffled yelling in the background, but not thinking much of it. “She always...she says… Whatever. She doesn’t get me, man. You do, though.”
Neil’s concern turns instantly into discomfort. Max is sitting up, leaning closer to where Neil is standing, and he has this look in his eyes that suggests he is thinking about exactly all the ways he wants Neil to get him. The mood shift happened so fast- Neil’s mind is reeling- and he certainly isn’t ready to do whatever it is Max is hoping for.
