Half a heart, half a crown

F O R T Y S E V E N

Every fibre in my body collided uncontrollably the moment our lips touched. I was shook with delight but at the same time, I was able to think straight. As much as I thought that this kiss will not make a difference of my plan but most part of my mind thought otherwise. Before I could let it get into me any further, I pulled away from the kiss. This odd position did not make it any easier for me because now I can't get up nor turn away. I was stucked here staring into his eyes that were filled with disappointment.

"Let's get going before they see us." I forced a smile out of me in hope that he would actually listen to me.

Again, he gripped my wrist tightly, preventing me from moving further. I could not look at him straight in his eyes, afraid that I would give in again. 

"Go." If he doesn't let me leave, then he should go.

"Go." I repeated again, this time it came out slightly harsher. 

Surprisingly, he brought my hand and placed it over his chest. His heartbeats danced onto my palm. 

"Do you feel something?" 

YES! yes, I felt everything. I feel the crazy butterflies exploded in every inch of my body. I feel the tingles up my spine whenever I hear your voice. I feel the extreme adrenaline running through my veins. I feel your love for me.

"No." This word came out of my lips, harsher than I thought but I am glad that it came out like that.

This time, my eyes reached his pair of crystal blue ones. I dared to, since if I continued on avoiding his gaze, then he would have thought that he had an affect over me. I will not allow that.

"If you really feel nothing, " his grip on my hand tightened, "then why are you shaking?"

My eyes set hard on him, my hand really do shake.

"Out of anger." I mumbled.

"Anger is a feeling." he nodded slowly, still staring at me, "but it is not something I had expected you to feel."

"Exactly, now that you know I am angry at you, I think you should take your leave." my words were loud and clear, as determined as ever.

He chuckled dryly. His grip still around my hand and it seemed as if he did not plan on loosen it any time soon.

Suddenly, he did something out of my expectation, my hand that was in his, was now placed over my own chest. The heartbeat of my own echoed through my palm, his grip on my hand tightened, "Your heart - "

"What about my heart?" I challenged him with my eyes, covering the thousandth layer of wall over it.

He cleared his throat, staring at me so intense, "Half of this heart, is pure," his eyes sent fire down my lungs, "the pure part is loving me when you know you should not......and the other half," his grip tightened, "is wicked."

The next thing he said, broke me : "You want me dead while loving me." 

"Go. Now" the fire was burning in my lungs, I am on the verge of tears, "please."

I guessed his heart had softened over my begging. I watched as he hesitantly stood up and spare me one last glance before leaving me behind. Just as I knew he was gone, I expected myself to break down crying, but I did not. Although it felt heavy, no tears filled my eyes.

I stayed there for another hour or so until I am confident that they left. I need to get this done before anyone including myself ruin my plan. So, I walked over, as fast as I can, I ran heading towards King Devilon's bedroom. He might be asleep by now, but I needed to get this done, I needed his help.

As I got closer to the door, I had realized that it was opened slightly. I walked over slowly and noiselessly. I halted immediately when I heard a conversation.

"You destroyed her, completely."

"I know."

"Then how dare you claim that you love her."

"I dare not, but I am incredibly sure of my feelings. She had awaken the heart within me. She had enlightened me when my days are dark, so dark I thought I would not be able to get up from it. She had always been there, even through times when I wanted her gone."

"She is not a good person, I am sure you know that. So why do you still want her?"

"Why do YOU want her?"

The other end stayed quiet.

"Exactly. She is not an angel, she had commited hundreds of sin. I think that was which was why I love her. She was bare, honest and independent. She bites back."

"She's going to ruin you."

"I am glad that she is the one."

"As much as I love her, I still would not let her ruin me."

"Maybe you had never loved her afterall...."

"I love her." I could hear anger within his voice, "I do. For a long time actually. It is just that maybe I'd rather let her go than to have her kick me off my throne."

"There's no maybe, Antonio." my eyes widened, "you'd rather let her go."

Again, there was silence.

After a while, a voice spoke up breaking off the thick silence.

"A moment ago, when I asked you about her, I wanted to know how do you feel about her?"

There was silence. My heart slammed so hard in chest, I backed away a stride afraid that they might hear the slamming sound of my heart. I know I should leave because what I hear next might ruin me, forever. 

"When I hear her voice-"

My breath hitched in my throat.

"I hear the rest of my life."