little miss black

-61-

Remus sat beside Lily in Charms, James sat behind them with Peter. Sirius had not turned up to classes all day. They were doing non-verbal spells and trying to levitate the feather in front of them.

"For goodness sake, I can't do it!" Lily huffed. She was on edge as she usually sat with Cass in this class.

"You just need to concentrate." Remus said calmly. He pointed his own wand at the feather and it flew up. "See?"

"Show off." Lily grumbled. "It's quite hard to concentrate today."

"I know Lil." Remus said. "Just try it again, okay?" Before she could, they heard James swear loudly. Peter had somehow set his feather on fire.

"Augmenti." Remus said, water shooting out of his wand.

"I'm terrible." Peter groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"It's okay wormy, at least you showed up." James said, rubbing Peters back. Remus sighed.

"Okay class, that concludes our lesson for today. Keep practicing your non verbal spellwork over the weekend!" Professor Flitwick squeaked. There was a flurry of parchment and wands as the class filed out of the class. Many people headed to the common room, some heading straight to the hall for dinner.

"I'm going to try and find Sirius." Remus said.

"I'll help." James said.

"Sorry, I said I'd meet Mary." Peter said sheepishly.

"Don't worry Pete, have fun." James said.

"Not too much fun." Remus winked. Peter blushed and hurried off. Lily had already gone with Marlene and Dorcas.

"I'll check the kitchens, he goes there when he's sad." James said, running a hand through his hair.

"Good plan, I'll check the secret passages." Remus said. "If you don't find him, I'll see you at dinner."

"Times like these, I wish we had continued with our map." James sighed.

"That's the next task." Remus said. "I hope you find him."

"You too, see you at dinner." James said. They ran off in opposite directions. Remus panted slightly as he checked the one-eyed witch statue, not finding Sirius. He checked the other ones he could think of, Sirius was nowhere to be found. He had one last desperate thought and sprinted up to the astronomy tower.

"Sirius?" Remus called. He could hear soft sobs but couldn't see anyone. "Sirius, I know it's you." The sobs stopped. "Come on Pads." Remus climbed the last few steps and saw Sirius slumped against the railings, a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand.

"How did you find me?" He croaked.

"It wasn't easy, I checked all the secret passages. James was doing the kitchens and probably the quidditch pitch." Remus said. He sat down beside Sirius.

"Yeah, well. I don't really want to be bothered at the moment." Sirius took another swig of firewhiskey. His eyes were red from crying.

"Sirius..." Remus said. "What are you doing to yourself?" He wrapped his arm around him.

"I don't know what to do Remus." Sirius sobbed. "I've messed it all up. Everything I do ends up with someone getting hurt. I've hurt Cass, James, Lily, and you."

"You haven't hurt me at all Sirius." Remus said quietly.

"I have, I have." Sirius sobbed. "I've been hiding something from you Remus."

"What?" Remus said. Sirius went to take another drink from the bottle. Remus gently took it from him. "I think that's enough of that."

"When we kissed, last year, I wasn't thinking straight." Sirius said.