Avengers oneshots

Swear Jar

Welcome to quarntine chronicles. This is if the avangers had a swear jar. Good lord know's they'd all be broke if they did.

Current Avengers: Steve, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Tony, Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, Peter, Loki, Wanda, Pietro, Vision.

Ships: MamaSpider, Pepperoni

TW: Swearing.....lots of it

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Third Person POV

"I fucking swear to god stark If you don't give me my damn bow back." Clint said chasing tony. "Fuck you." Tony yelled to him. Peter was sitting next to Nat who was trying to help him with his Russian Homework. This was a normal occurance in the tower. The team cursing at eachother. Peter was tired of it and it was gonna end today.

He stood up and yelled really loudly. "HEY!" Everyone looked at him. "I am sick and tired of you guys running around here in chaos. Me and Aunt nat are trying to do my russian homework and you guys are running around here cursing. I am too young to hear that." He said. Everyone shrugged in agreeance. 

"So from this day foward we are using..." Peter looked around for a big jar and found one in the kitchen. He picked it up and brought it in the living room. "...this as a swear jar. Every time you curse you gotta put money in. You put in 1 dollar for the not so bad ones and for the bad ones you put in 3 and for the really bad ones you put in 5. Got it." He said.

"Why the fuck would we do that?" Sam asked. Peter went over to him and help up the jar. "3 dollars please." Sam grumbled and put in 3 dollars. Peter went and put it in the living room. "Now FRIDAY will be monitoring this to make sure nobody takes any money. Whoever hasn't contributed any money to the jar get's to keep its profits. Fair?" Everyone nodded. 

"Beside's how hard can it be not to curse for a week?" Tony said. Everyone looked at him. "Fine. But I don't think a swear jar can get that much money in a week." Everyone agreed. Boy were they wrong.

Monday

"Steve you're a fucking pussy." Bucky laughed. "Well sorry for not wanting to do something so damn stupid that you very much."Steve grumbled. FRIDAY chimed in. "Mr.Barnes that would be 8 dollars in the swear jar. Mr.Rogers that would be 1 dollar in the swear jar." They both groaned an put their money in the jar

"Vision if you don't get your fucking crusty ass hands off my sister." Pietro growled. "Fucking come at me bro." Vision challenged. "Vis you've been spending way too much time with Tony and Clint." Wanda giggled. "Mr.Maximoff that would be 6 dollars in the swear jar. Vision that would be 3 dollars in the swear jar." They both put their money in reluctantly.

Wednesday

"Brother if you don't get your fucking hammer the fuck off of me I will make it rain fucking hell on you." Loki said from the ground. "Well fuck you brother." Thor said lifting Mjolnir. "Mr.Laufeyson that would be 10 dollars in the swear jar. Mr.Odinson that would be 3 dollars in the swear jar." Thor and Loki just put their money in and walked off.

Saturday

The team came back from a mission and flopped on the couch. "Mr.Stark I believe you owe 57 dollars in the swear jar. Mr.Rogers you owe 7 dollars. Mr.Barton you owe 18 dollars. Mr.Maximoff you owe 12 dollars. Vision you owe 1 dollar. Mr.Barnes you owe 63 dollars. Mr.Wilson you owe 68 dollars. Mr.Odionson you owe 28 dollars. Mr.Laufeyson you owe 5 dollars. Mr.Rhodes you owe 30 dollars. And Ms.Potts you owe 13 dollars for cursing Mr.Stark out on the phone." Everyone groaned and put their money in.

"I didn't know missions counted." Steve said. "What about nat. I swear she said SHit." Clint said. "That would be 3 more dollars Mr.Barton." Clint put them in. "My records show Ms.Romanoff indeed did not swear during your mission." Nat smirked and went to her roomto freshen up. Everyone else sighed and followed suit.

Sunday

"So how much money you got in there kid?" Peter looked up from where he was counting. "So far? 3,347 dollars and 25 cent. And I'm not even halfway done." Everyone looked shocked. After a few minutes of counting peter was done. "And your grand total is 24,406 dollars and 50 cent." Peter said. Everyones mouth was agape. "I know we don't curse that much." Sam said.

"The total amout is correct Peter did also convince Fury to include higher up SHIELD agents to part take in this. However, 56% of that total is from the avengers Bringing your personal grand total to 13,667 dollars and sixty-four cent." They all shrugged. "Compared to the total amount that's not Bad. So FRIDAY who wins the money?" Tony said.

"None of the SHIELD participants win the money. It does look like we have a 3 way tie. It would seem Ms.Maximoff, Ms.Romanoff, and Mr.Parker are the only 3 out of about 50 participants who haven't swore." Everyone looked at Nat and Wanda Shocked. "Now Peter I expected but You 2. No way. FRIDAY are you sure?" Sam said disbleieveing. "I am Quite Sure Mr.Wilson. Congradulations." 

Wanda, Natasha, and Peter put the money back in the 2 jar's and went outside. "What should we do with this money? Shopping?" Wanda asked. "Nah. I think we should get motorcycles." Natasha grins. "I have an Idea. Let's get Motorcycles and Matching jakets an give the rest to charity. But wear a mask so that you don't get recognized." Peter suggested.

Wanda and Natasha agreed with Peter. They walked to the motorcycle shop and agreed on black motorcycles. They got helmates and praticed a little bit before riding to the mall. They walked around and looked for a little bit before deciding to get leather jackets with their hero initials on it. 

Wanda got a biege jacket with a scarlet SW on it. Natasha got a black jacket with a yellow BW on it and a red hourglass looking thing as the background. Peter got a black jacket with a red SM on it and a white spider pattern. They all got black helmates and had their first names engraved into it and got on their motorcycles.

They had around $15,700 left and went to a resturant and used the 700 to buy a bunch of food and headed to a homeless shelter, a childrens hospital, and a poor orphanage and gave them food and 5k each. They then rode back home. The team looked at their new jackets jealously.   You'da thought they learned their lesson and stopped swearing but...nope. 

Bonus scene

Every week after that it became a habit.

They would make around 25k each week and they would but toys, food, games, eectronics, etc. and head to any hospital, homeless shelter, or orphanage they could find and give them things. They started small and they ended up making a name for themselves. People called them the Anon angels. Anon being short for anonymous.

"What do you guy's do with the money anyway?" Tony said one day as the trio was coming back. "Yeah. The first week you guys got motorcycles and jackets but now you guys never come back with anything." Sam said. Natasha just turned on the news and sat on the couch. The others followed suit hoping for answers.

A few minutes later the news went live with the title Anon Angels Strike again. They looked skeptically at the trio then back at the TV. "A few weeks ago 3 anonomyous people on unmarked motorcycles started coming all around New York and giving out money. I'm not talking $5 money. I'm talking no less then 5k. They also give out Toys and Food and have blessed so many people these last few weeks. Anon Angels wherever you are we just want to say thankyou." 

Everyone looked at them. "Again. Peter I expected but you 2?" Tony said. "Peter suggested it after we got our jackets and motorcycles." Everyone made 'Oh' faces. "So can we stop this swer jar thing before I go broke." Sam said. They looked at eachother then at him. "Nah." Everyone else groaned. The trio just laughed before going to their rooms.

I hope you enjoyed that. I hope y'all are staying safe. I'm running out of Idea's so if you have any feel free to comment them. 

STAY SAFE GUYS!!!

Word Count:1396