Hamilton Oneshots (Discontinued)

Gone but not forgotten (Hamilsquad)

AYO YOW YOW YOW YOW, WHAT TIME IS IT?
ANGST TIME!
Prompt is death of someone close, and it's not John I'm killing.
Modern Au (did you expect any less?)
Woooooooooo
Trigger Warnings: Death, suicide and self-harm.

*Lafayette'zzz PoV*

Mon amis,
By the time you read this, I will no longer be with you on this Earth. It pains me to say this, but goodbye. I have no reason to be here, and I feel I only hold you all back.
Do not cry for me, as I can assure you that we shall meet again in a better world, where we are pain free forever.
Do not blame yourselves, you could not have stopped me. When someone strong gets hurt, they hide the wound. I have hidden my own wound from you all, you couldn't have known, do not think you should've.
Remember that I love you all dearly, and we will see eachother again.
M.D. Lafayette.
P.S, tell George Washington that he was a wonderful father-figure.

And with that, I carefully place the letter in an envelope, setting it on my desk. I then take the pills and blade from my bedside drawer, downing the bottle and cutting the blade deep into both wrists. I yelp with pain, but it does not take long for my vision to fade...

*Spy's PoV*

"Laf, where you at?" I call out, searching for my French friend. John and Alex sent me to find him while they chose movies for our Friday movie night. Laf usually pops the popcorn, but when he wasn't in the kitchen, I was chosen to search for him.
I walk up to his bedroom door (we have movie night at his apartment) and knock. Hearing no reply, I pull the handle down and gently open the door.
Upon opening the door, I'm met with the Frenchman asleep on his bed, his bottle of anti-depressants next to him.
He's been struggling with depression for a while now, though he's never really told us why.
I take a moment to wonder why he's taken his pills this early, he usually takes them later, but I stop short when I notice a blade dropped next to the...empty pill bottle.
"ALEX, JOHN!" I scream, stumbling back, not wanting to inspect, but rather have Alex or John do it for me.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" John calls from the living room.
"HELP! OH MY GOD HELP!" I cry frantically. I hear running from both males.
They burst into the room, standing behind me, confused.
"He's asleep?" Alex suggests, not quite getting it.
"No-no he's not asleep-not asleep. His pills, and there's-there's a blade...oh my god what has he done?" I stutter out, as the realisation dawns on my friends.
Alex rushes forwards, John takes a step backwards.
"Lafayette? Lafayette it's Alexander. Can you hear me?" Alex says loudly, removing the knife and pill bottle. He gets no response.

*Ham the Man's PoV*

I try to stay calm as I speak, knowing John and Hercules won't be able to right now, but I'm honestly shaking, scared. I throw the knife away from Lafayette as well as the pill bottle, calling out to him as I do.
Turning him over, I'm met with a blank face and bloodied wrists. The blood flows from the wounds, and the cuts are deep. I rip my shirt to use as bandages, struggling to make a tear at first, but I manage. I tie the pieces of shirt around each wrist, securing them.
"There's a note..." John says slowly, and I hear the sound of paper being picked up.
"Herc, get me a glass of water, but put a load of salt in it." I say, my voice shaken. I tell John to bring me the note as Hercules gets the salt water.
"What does it say?" I ask, my hands shaking. John clears his throat and begins to read the letter out loud
"Mon amis, By the time you read this, I will no longer be with you on this Earth. It pains me to say this, but-but goodbye. I have no reason to be here, and I feel-I feel I only hold you all back.
Do not cry for me, as I can assure you that-that we shall meet again in a better world, where we are pain free forever.
Do not-do not blame yourselves, you could not have stopped me. When someone strong gets-gets hurt, they hide the wound. I have hidden my own wound from you all, you couldn't have known, do-do not think you should've.
Remember that I-that I love you all dearly, and we will see eachother again.
M.D. Lafayette.
P.S, tell George Washington that he was a-that he was a wonderful father-figure." John stutters as he reads, his voice cracking as he holds back tears.
Hercules returns and hands me the water, saying that he's called an ambulance.
I take the glass and set it on the bedside table, lifting Laf into a sitting position. I take the water and pour some into his mouth, hoping that enough can pass down his throat to make him throw up.
We can only pray.

*le skip of time*

I've never liked hospitals, but here we are now, awaiting the doctor to tell us the news on our dear friend.
Hercules hasn't stopped crying since we left the apartment, and John has been so unusually quiet. I myself have been trying to keep it together, knowing that we all need someone to be the rock.
A doctor, with the name tag 'Samuel Seabury', slowly exits the room they were keeping Lafayette in. His face shows no emotion that could point to what he's about to say.
Hercules shoots his head up, wiping tears. John reaches for my hand.
"Are you friends of Marie-Joseph-uh Lafayette?" The doctor asks. I manage a weak smile at the giving up of saying Laf's name.
"We are. How is he?" I ask as John grips my hand tight.
The doctor shakes his head, and John's hand falls away from mine.
"He-he didn't..." Herc whispers, Samuel gives us a solemn look.
"I'm sorry, really. His overdose and blood loss were severe. There was nothing anyone could do." Samuel speaks softly and kindly. It hurts to listen to.
"Can we see him?" John asks weakly. Samuel nods. We follow him into the room and gather round the bed.
"Did he-did he go peacefully?" I ask, taking Lafayette's hand.
"He woke for a moment, cried out and spasmed, but we can't tell for sure just how he felt when he passed." The apologetic, sympathetic tone Samuel was using seemed like a mockery.

*le skip of time*

Since Lafayette has been gone, we cleared out his apartment and I was chosen to keep the note. It hasn't been the same without him, and it probably never will. No one saw Jefferson, Laf's cousin, for a week or two after hearing of his cousins death, and George Washington hasn't made an appearance much. It's been a hard time for us all. But as the saying goes, the saying I detest, gone but not forgotten. And he won't be.

Helloooo.
Sorry for the angst my friends.
If you're feeling suicidal, or have/want to hurt yourself, then it's best to tell someone. Even if it's your pet or your best friend. It will get better, even if it takes years. You're all valid and important-remember that <3

-Bye.