ethereal

ten

Kylie's P.O.V.

After Luke and the rest of them left, I sat alone in my room. I stared at the gray, lifeless walls until anger bubbled up inside of me.

Why did I have to fucking go off on Luke?

I stood up from my bed and stared at my colorless room. I looked at the black shoes in my dark closet. I scanned the goth-like clothes on my chest of drawers. I watched my whole room intently until an idea formed in mind.

I stripped everything off of my bed and grabbed things from a closet outside my room. I started to put pink blankets on my bed. About half way through I realized that I couldn't change myself into a preppy bitch so that I wouldn't be a screw up anymore.

I returned everything back to the closet and headed to the bathroom. I washed my hands of dust from the failed operation. I dried them and stared out the window.

Why do I always ruin everything? I almost get raped, was beaten, I shut out the boy who saved me, and I'm just a completely and utterly stupid person. I ruined my family's perfect image and lost the greatest boy in my life. Oh great, now I'm being sappy! Aren't I just perfect?

Without thinking, I grab a disposable razor and jab it into my skin. The pain kinda ignites that fire under my skin, except this time it's not pleasurable. But at the same time, takes away my guiltiness for screwing up everyone's lives.

After I've had enough for one day, I headed outside the back of my house. I sit down in a chair, still with open sores, and light a cigarette from my pocket. I breathed in the deadly smoke ands blew it out, slowly. This makes me feel so peaceful and relaxing. It gave me a heated feeling like the dragons inside me when I kiss Evan.

********

It's been three days. I haven't gone back to school yet. It would be too awkward. And I wouldn't be able to smoke whenever I want.

Today, I was forced to go. I decided to walk today, though. But only so I could smoke. As I stepped onto the next street, I lit the deadly substance on fire. I breathed in, and out, in, and out. I did this for twenty minutes before finally arriving at the hell hole.

The guards made me put out the cigarette. I did so, surprisingly, and went through the gates. I pulled on the handle of the door before walking down a different path to my locker, trying to avoid Luke, Ashton, Michael, and Calum. I successfully didn't see them all the way through algebra 2, my last class of the day.

I was walking out of the door when I saw them. I looked down and walked the opposite way.

Please don't see me.

Please don't see me.

Please don't-

"Kylie?" An Australian voice rang.

I turned to see a concerned Ashton's face. I turned away and he grabbed my wrist. I immediately thought of how Luke did this three days ago.

"Why weren't you at school?" He questioned.

"I-I wasn't feeling very good." I lied.

"Oh, well I'm glad you feel better-" Luke cut him off.

"What's in your pocket?"

I looked down to the cigarette box that was pushing my jean's pocket out.

"Gum." I told him.

"Can I have a piece?"

"No."

"And why not?" He brought his eyebrows together.

"Because we're not allowed."

"Since when do you care about the rules? Besides they wouldn't care. They let us do almost anything here." He smirked, having won our little verbal war.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day.

"I have to go." I replied, coldly, before leaving the school.