ethereal

thirteen

Kylie's P.O.V.

It's been three days since I met Bree. There's been more cuts and bloodshed. More tears and hair ripped out. I don't want to talk to Luke or Evan. Not even Shane. I don't want to burden them. They wouldn't want to have to worry about me and I don't need them to. It's working out perfectly. I don't have another bad thing on my conscience and I'm not in their hair. It's a win-win.

School has become harder to do and my grades are slowly slipping below average. Soon, I'll have to switch back schools. That would be a good thing though, right?

My parents went on a business trip and my brothers and sisters all went to visit my grandparents. That means I'll be all alone for the next two and a half weeks, with my thoughts, my conscience, and my life.

-

I finally pulled myself out of bed to go to school after hitting the snooze button twice. I got ready and left in my black mustang. I took five right turns, two left turns, stopped at three red lights and two stop signs and finally pulled into the school parking lot. I stepped out with black jeans, converse, an AC/DC t-shirt, and a black leather jacket on.

Today, I have decided to come back to life and ignore the nagging thoughts in my head. I picked up my black, small backpack and swung it over my shoulders. I shut my car door and locked it, making my way to the school gates. Once the large, iron rod gates opened, I took my first few confident steps that I have taken in a while.

As I made my way inside the school, I saw Luke standing alone by the doors. He was definitely looking for me, some girl who's head has been down and has been trying to quietly make her way around school for too long. I pulled my head up high and walked the opposite way. For some reason, I had sensed he was looking for me. I wasn't going to let him drag me back into his life and make it as complicated as ever. I would ruin his life.

Reminding myself to push these thoughts out, or at least to the back of my head, I moved towards my locker. After getting all my books I headed to my history class.

-

I sat on my bed, wishing my family would get back already. I can't be alone with my thoughts anymore. Sure, I could talk to the people that worked here because my parents were too busy to cook and clean, but they probably don't even like me. Plus, that would be awkward.

Gym class was extremely awkward today because Mikey and Cal were in that class with me. They stared at the back of my head the whole time as I tried to ignore them. I would not allow myself to destroy the life they had been building their whole entire lives. I'm like a tornado or something.

And I really had no right to yell at Luke, he was innocently listening to a song I had stupidly left out. And poor Evan, he probably thinks that I hate him and that I never actually liked him. He was okay to get angry. I shouldn't have rejected him and made him feel bad about himself.

A burst of anger flared through me as I stood. I practiced the ritual that I had perfected over the last few days. I cut five new scars into my wrists and lower arms. Then I went outback and smoked a cigarette in the same exact chair I had always sat in.

-

I climbed onto my bed, having just dried my hair from taking a shower. I dressed in another pair of black skinny jeans and a short sleeved Beatles shirt, not bothering to cover up the fresh cuts and old scars, that still ached.

I turned on my phone and unlocked it when the doorbell chimed throughout the house. I slowly stood up, dropped my phone on the table, and made my way to the front door. I unlocked it and opened it, a creaking noise coming from the old wooden door.

"Kylie." An Australian accent spoke.

I went to quickly close the door, but his foot had managed to wedge itself in between the door frame and the door.

"Please open the door! I need to talk to you! Please Kylie, please!" The blonde pleaded.

"I can't." I shook my head, even though he couldn't see it.

"Why not?" He asked, sounding hurt.

"Because I won't allow myself to do this to you!" I told him loudly.

Tears had managed to roll down my cheeks. I hate how I love him so much that I can't hurt him!

Wait, what?

As soon as I thought this, my muscles gave out from confusion, allowing Luke to open the door all the way.

All of a sudden, everything hit me like a bricks.

I said no to my boyfriend, who was trying to force himself onto me.

Then I was beaten.

I actually felt bad for the person who did that to me.

Luke, Ashton, Michael, and Calum saved me.

Luke was concerned about me.

Then he listened to a song I wrote, not knowing it was off limits.

Then I kicked them all out.

I fell down to my knees, crying my eyes out because of knowing how much I hurt them when I was trying so desperately not to.

"Kylie!" I heard Luke burst with concern.

I continued crying, even as he nelt down, wrapped his arms around me, carried me upstairs, and sat down with me on my bed.

His arms were wrapped around me as I cried into his shoulder.

"Shhhhh... it's going to be all right. Kylie? Please don't cry. I don't like it when you do." He whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"L-Luke," I stuttered trying to control my tears and shivers caused by him. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, babe," He whispered, hugging me, my stomach flipping when he called me babe. "But you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes I do, I-I screamed at you. When all you did was listen to some stupid song."

"No, I shouldn't have been snooping. And it wasn't a stupid song. It was beautiful. Has anyone ever told you how great of a voice you have." He told me with soft eyes.

I blushed and looked down. I moved and sat indian style.

"Hey, look at me," He touched my wrist.

When I winced, he pulled my hand out my lap.

"Kylie..." He had tears in his eyes. "Why?"

When I didn't respond he squeezed me in his arms and pleaded with me quietly.

"Please Kylie, never hurt yourself. It kills me to know that you have. Please... Please, don't ever do this." He told me, tears dotting his cheeks.

I wiped them off of his face gently. His eyes caught mine and I stared into them. They were deep blue, with concern outlining them. He looked as though he was about to breakdown and sob. I felt guiltiness in the pit of my stomach.

"To be honest, I was only angry for about ten minutes after I left, then I realized that it was personal." I looked at him, unsure if I should forgive myself and forget about it all.

"And if you want to make me happy," He paused. "Please, don't be hard on yourself."

I smiled at him, knowing he knew me well, but in reality we hadn't even known eachother a month ago.

I found myself being drawn in by his eyes as he leaned towards me. I knew it was happening, my very first kiss with the boy I should've wrote that song for. My lips tingled as we were only centimeters apart. My eye slowly started to flutter shut, doing the same as Luke's.

"Kylie?"