Why me? ~ mark sloan

CHAPTER NINETEEN

"Can I go now?" Vanessa asked, slumping in the chair at the therapists office. Everyone had suggested she go and see a therapist, Mark and Owen heading the party - telling her that it would be what's best.

"Doctor Hunt, explain to me what happened on the day your fiance died." The therapist probed deeper and Vanessa sighed, resting her elbows on her knees.

"He was shot and I couldn't save him." She shrugged, not wanting to dwell on the subject.

"And?"

"And? I went out to help someone in the field, a bomb went off and then another and I was buried under the shrapnel for however long. Not able to move or speak as I felt me and my baby dying slowly and I had to listen as my brother screamed and cried, trying to move some of it off of me - they all thought I was dead because I was so deeply buried in the ground that they couldn't see me. They up and left, moved on. I thought I died but I woke up in the hospital." her voice grew gradually weaker as she carried on with her story.

"And who else have you told the full story to?" 

"Owen obviously knows it, Mark knows bits, Cristina and Alex know bits." She explained.

"No-one else?" 

"Not really something I want to advertise." Vanessa snapped, growing annoyed with the therapist's condescending tone.

"I get that but maybe if you were more open about your story you could heal." The therapist suggested and Vanessa scoffed.

"What? Just start every conversation with my life story? Sure that will get me loads of friends." She commented sarcastically and the therapist just smiled.

"Maybe you could sit everyone who is important to you down in a room and talk to them. Maybe that would help you heal?" 

'What a stupid idea' Vanessa thought, 'I don't want their pity.'

"No." She said simply, "I don't want to do that." 

"Start small. Explain it all to the people who know bits and then you can start to speak to the other people in your life." 

Vanessa nodded, smiling fakely, and stood up. 

"I'm going to go." She muttered, walking toward the door, "Thank you." She added, opening the door and walking out as quickly as she could, doubling over and throwing up in the closest bin. The idea of telling people her story mixed with the nausea her baby was giving her was not a very good mix.

"Doctor Hunt, are you alright?" She heard a voice behind her and she turned around to see someone she knew was a Mercy Wester.

"Perfectly fine, Doctor...?" She realised she didn't know his name and she was slightly embarrassed.

"Percy, Charles Percy." He reached his hand out and Vanessa took it while wiping her mouth with her other hand.

"Well Doctor Percy, thank you for your concern but I'm going to go now." She smiled gently, nodding her head once in his direction and walking away, leaving him staring at her as she walked away.

***

"Met Charles Percy today." She mentioned suddenly to Jackson as they were having lunch together - their friendship started to grow as soon as Mark had taken a liking to him.

"Really? He's a funny guy." Jackson smiled and Vanessa shook her head slightly.

"Wouldn't know - he caught me throwing up in the bin." She grimaced at the memory and Jackson cringed slightly.

"Why were you throwing up?" He asked, sounding concerned.

"Hello? Baby." She joked, trying to cover up the main reason but Jackson saw through her lies. He nodded slowly, mentally making a note to tell Mark about it.