Why me? ~ mark sloan

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

"Put him in the room next to hers." Owen ordered and the people moving Mark's bed changed their course and placed him in the room next to where Vanessa was recovering. 

He took a deep breath and walked into Vanessa's room where her heart monitor was beeping rhythmically. She had woken up a few times but always fell back into a coma-like state afterwards. Her body seemed to be just too weak to handle being awake. 

But nobody could diagnose what was wrong with her - everything seemed perfectly healthy.  They ran every test and did every exploratory surgery they could to check for a problem but they couldn't find anything medically wrong with her.

Owen sat next to her bed and took her hand in his, holding it firmly and shaking it slightly as if trying to wake her again. When she showed no response he dropped his head slightly and sighed.

"Come on," He pleaded, "Just wake up. They're back - Cristina won't speak, Derek's hand is messed up, Arizona probably needs her leg amputated, Meredith seems pretty alright and Mark he-he won't wake up but I think if you wake up you can convince him to wake up." 

"The baby's fine - healthy - and the twins are staying with me they're speaking more every day. They miss you, I can tell. They, uh, they're first words every morning are either 'mommy' or 'daddy'. And everyone else misses you - Alex has barely spoken since you've been asleep." He chuckled slightly.

He wasn't really thinking about what he was saying, the one thing he couldn't stop thinking about was what she said when she woke up the first time.

///

Owen and Alex were sat at Vanessa's bedside after her surgery, waiting to see if when her heart started beating in the OR it would stay beating normally. 

Vanessa opened her eyes slowly and groggily looked around the room. Alex and Owen jumped up out of their chairs and to her side, each grabbing one of her hands as she smiled weakly at them.

"Megan..." She croaked out and Owen furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned over her, "She wasn't there - she's alive." 

"Wasn't where?" Alex asked.

"There. With Jamie and Charles and...oh god." Vanessa covered her mouth with a shaky hand as she remembered Lexie's death, "Lexie." 

"Did I die?" She adds, looking over at Owen.

"Your heart wasn't beating for around fifteen minutes." He explained and she let out a breath. She had been dead for fifteen minutes. 

"What happened? I-I know there was a-a plane crash, right? Everyone else is okay, right?" She moved her head to look over at Alex.

"How...yes, there was a plane crash," Alex looked at her sceptically, "But everyone else is fine. No need to worry."

"Mark? If he was fine he'd be here." 

"He's uh... he's down the hall." Alex explained and Vanessa nodded, looking up at the ceiling as tears formed in her eyes.

"What did you say about Megan?" Owen asked, hating himself for asking but he had to know.

"She wasn't there. She's not dead - I'm right and you're wrong." Vanessa smirked but she felt herself slipping back into the horrible state of not being able to move or speak but being able to hear everything.

"Vanessa?" Alex called as her eyes began to close and her heart monitor started beeping erratically.

***

Owen knew what she had said was probably just some dream her mind had made up but he couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't. 

Somehow she knew about Lexie's death and somehow she knew that there was a crash. Owen tried to convince himself that she had heard someone talking about it - he refused to hold the hope that Megan was alive, he had stopped looking for her a long time ago and he didn't know if he could handle looking her in the eye knowing he gave up on her.