TW: SUICIDE, DRUGS, DEPRESSION
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A bunch of Teenagers who want to find their way around the world.
Especially two people who slowly find their love for each other.
...
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''Clementine!'', I hear someone calling my name behind me, I turn around and recognize Mitch who waves at me with a bottle of beer in his hand. ''We're going to the train, are you coming?''
When you go to the field, you always meet here first and then get drunk on the train together.
Gabe is in the cinema with his friends today, his ex is probably also there, which I only ever learn from the photos that his friends post afterward.
What a great relationship did I get myself into, huh?
I grab onto Louis' arm.
''We have to go, your sister is already back there.''
Makayla is standing in the middle of a bunch of girls and at that moment she turns around and lets her eyes wander. When she sees us, she smiles and waves us over, she seems to want to make sure that her brother is in good hands.
Louis must be completely drunk right now, he has trouble walking straight and didn't say a word. I know people who become totally attached and emotional through alcohol, just as I know people who become aggressive and obnoxious - it is new to me that someone remains so closed and controlled. Maybe he just has to throw up and it's just stuck in his throat?
We sit opposite each other, in a four-seater.
In the morning on the train, he never noticed when I was staring at him, not even now. He wears black jeans torn at the knees and a wide, black, and red striped sweater that had a few holes at the hem.
''I like your sweater.''
After looking out the window all the time, he looks at me again for the first time after a while.
''Secondhand,'' he replies shortly, but not unkindly. His hair was so beautifully braided into thin little cute dreads. I love how they framed his fine face.
He was scratching his chin lost in thought, and his glassy brown eyes were looking around.
''Makayla is in the other compartment, don't worry, I know where we have to get out,'' I said because I can imagine what is going on in his head. At least I think I do... This evening just has to give more than my annoyance at my so-called 'Boyfriend' Gabe.
I want to forget, dance, and be happy.
Just for one night.
†
When Louis regained consciousness, he was sitting on a rancid leather couch, covered in smoke.
Finn had a kind of shed on his parents' property. The couches and armchairs were stacked on top of each other, so that interesting and extremely cozy upholstery was the result, and in one of these armchairs was Clementine, with a bottle of vodka between her thighs.
Her knees were red from the night cold, she was still too thin dressed for her wiry body, and those brown curls hung in her face.
''Well, this is-'' Finn was about to introduce her but was interrupted by Louis.
''Clementine, I know.''
She smiles at him through her glassy eyes and replied: ''Hi, Louis''
The two exchanged a quick look before Finn dragged him on to introduce him to the others.
The alcohol flowed again, and although Louis refused most of the time, he couldn't refuse it one time or another.
Finn had assured him that he had got him some grass, but he put it off all the time that he had it in his room and that they could fetch it later if he went home.
Since Makayla did not look as if she wanted to go home any time soon, and Louis had no desire to find his way back to town alone at night, he now stood outside in the garden with a beer in his hand.
For a while he'd watched Clementine, with some distance and a little disgust, still drawing attention; but somehow he found her funny and cute in a barely noticeable way.
That was why Louis briefly forgot how simple and obviously superficial he found her when she suddenly kissed him.
At the time, they had all been standing outside the crip talking - Louis didn't know about what because he had just stood there impassively - when she stumbled into his arms and kissed him.
Just like that.
It was a short but very soft kiss.
When she loosened and regained her balance, she grinned at him.
Then she turned and shouted, ''I love you all,'' she left with a few others.
Did she just kiss me?
†
The rest of the night dragged on.
He remembered that they had walked through a field together, Clementine on his back like a little monkey. He remembered that they had all been sitting in a circle, with Clem's head on Louis' lap and he caressed her hair gently.
But all the other memories were gone.
It was clammy and gloomy and for the first time, he had the feeling of being almost sober.
There were people everywhere, of whom he didn't even know half of.
He was wondering how he had managed to fall asleep in this uncomfortable position when he vaguely noticed how Marlon and Mitch tiptoed through the crack to the door and disappeared into the hallway.
He went through his options briefly in his head and gently pushed Clementine off of him and gave her a kiss on the forehead before sneaking out.
Luckily, in the hallway, he ran into Makayla, who was patting like a ragged raccoon out of the bathroom.
''Should we go home?'' She asked directly with a croaked voice, and Louis, looking out of the window and absentmindedly thinking, just nodded.
Louis wondered what had happened last night that he couldn't remember.
Together they stepped out into the foggy dawn and the door closed when Marlon and Mitch turned.
''Heading home too, I see?'', Mitch asked in a scratchy voice and ran a hand through his hair.
Makayla and Louis just nodded, so they made their way to the train station together.
''Don't tell me, you hooked up with Clementine?!'' Makayla whispered to him quietly and shuffled lazily next to him.
''Okay, I won't tell you anything,'' Louis replied simply, and the conversation ended.
Louis' thoughts were still in last night, he felt like he had gotten involved in something without making a conscious decision at any point, and he didn't like it.
He had no nerve for any complicated relationship stories, least of all with girls like Clementine, even if he still liked to think of her pink-red lips on his.
Problems didn't suit him at all and she radiated exactly that.
