TW: SUICIDE, DRUGS, DEPRESSION
「
A bunch of Teenagers who want to find their way around the world.
Especially two people who slowly find their love for each other.
...
He had been in bed for hours, smoking three joints in a row, and was still wide awake despite the effects of Indica.
The anger that had seized him today had evaporated and made room for regret.
He didn't know himself that way, usually, he didn't get too much into something, usually, he was in control of situations and he wasn't vulnerable at all.
Just as he was thinking about getting dressed again and looking for Clementine, he heard the key in the front door.
Makayla had been out tonight, and the two whispering voices in the hallway told Louis she hadn't come home alone.
A few seconds later, his door opened a crack and a small figure entered his room.
He recognized her immediately, the smell, the build, the movements, the aura; and he had never been so happy about her appearance as now.
She crawled under his blanket and he put his arm around her, pulling her closer and burying his face in her hair.
''I hate when you drink alcohol,'' he grumbled, ''because you don't smell like you ...''
''I was just allowed to listen to stupid comments on the field about the thing in the bathroom, had to lock myself up.''
He rolled over onto his back but turned his head towards her and tried to make out her face in the dark.
''The thing in the bathroom meant a lot to me, just that you know it,'' she whispered. ''I don't know what that is between us.''
He stared at the ceiling and looked back over the past few hours.
''You are the first person who can cause such reactions in me,'' he finally answered and she looked for his eyes, but could not find them anymore.
''Is that supposed to be a compliment?''
She had also rolled over on her back and now they both stared at the ceiling.
''Actually, I wanted to say that I'm sorry too.''
It was not the first time that Louis had felt guilty.
He had let himself be carried away by his feelings, had gotten himself into fancies, and to make matters worse, Clem had gotten drunk today, although she could have clarified it directly.
She was important to him, that's why he failed so miserably in communication.
''What did you mean when you said you might never have another relationship after me?''
This sentence had just burst out of him and he had been thinking about it all evening.
"If it doesn't work with you, it won't work with nobody," he replied directly.
Clementine swallowed.
''How so?''
Louis turned his head to her and her eyes flashed in the dark.
He had been so sure of wanting to keep his distance, but she had turned everything upside down.
"Because you're perfect," he said simply as if it were obvious.
If Clementine had read this sentence in a book, she might have thrown it across the room and stopped reading it at that moment, but the words came out of Louis' mouth so honestly, without any background thought, and not so pernicious that they gave goosebumps got.
She knew that she was far from being 'perfect', that 'perfect' was just an unrealistic and unreachable idea anyway; she knew Louis actually saw it the same way, but she also knew what he was trying to tell her.
His words struck her right in the heart, and she decided at that moment that it didn't matter how she had imagined a relationship, it wasn't even important to give the whole thing a name.
They didn't have to prove anything to anyone.
For the first time, she felt that she didn't have to submit to another person to make sure they stayed with her.
Louis and Clementine both looked each other in the eye, deeply.
Louis rolled over slightly but didn't look away.
He stroked her cheek gently and pressed his lips to hers.
Never would have thought that she would be kissed so tenderly now.
Or maybe his kisses just felt more intense because it was dark and they were here in bed.
She felt a little dizzy, and when their lips loosened, she concentrated on his face.
She had become so used to the darkness that she could see his pupils.
He returned her look and one more time she was lost in his eyes.
