He misses his warmth, his soft touch, his soothing voice, his gorgeous eyes looking deeply at him, he misses him, everything about him.
He wanted to get him back, to live happily with him, to be with him again.
But all those changed when he found hi...
Standing up from his seat, Beomgyu looks at Taehyun with wide eyes. His fingers burying itself deep into the palm of his hands, and his pink lips pursed together- trying to hold back his tears.
"What are you saying, Taehyun?" He managed to say, only his voice was breathy- a hint of confusion mixed beneath it. Surely, he was confused. At the same time, he was mad, and hurt. How can he just say that? So many questions were flying around his mind.
All because of those four words in which he found so stupid.
"I don't know why, but I always get jealous or mad whenever you're with Yeonjun-hyung. Or maybe when you're smiling, but the reason is not me anymore. Also when you're becoming your sweet and cute self when you're with him, you used to be like that to me too. And it pains me to see you like that with someone else," Not even sparing the little one a glance, he said all those. Truth be told, all that he had said were true. That was all he felt, take note, was.
But he doesn't know why he can't just bring himself to tell Beomgyu that it wasn't like that anymore. Maybe he was confused? Maybe he was scared? Of what, even. Or maybe, it was because of Huening Kai?
Either way, he doesn't know.
"Are you toying with me, Kang?" Beomgyu looks down on the red haired boy. His breathing becoming heavy, why am I even mad? He asked himself. What was the reason that made him so furious right now?
Easy, he felt like a toy. That once you're bored with the other one, you'll play with another one next. Cheesy and cliche, yes, but that was what he felt.
"I'm not," Taehyun said, no more words following right after.
Just deafening silence.
"You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
As those words stumbled out of the little one's lips, Taehyun looks up. A brow arching, as his eyes squinted a little. Not even sure if he heard that correctly, how can you say that to someone who drew deep scars in your heart?
Being the person that he is, Beomgyu found himself crying. No hiccups, no sobs- just tears trailing down his pale cheeks. The starry sky glistening above their bodies, the lamp post beside the bench, and the empty road surrounding them.
"You were there when I needed someone the most, you were there when everyone turned their backs on me. That's why I fell in love with you, I did everything to make you happy," Beomgyu uttered, his hands slowly unclenching, and his shoulders dropping.
Here he was again, breaking down and questioning where did all went wrong.
"I could've been anything in this world, but Taehyun, I chose to be yours," Choking out those words, he felt more and more tears escaping from his eyes. Breathing in and out quite heavily, I could've been anything... but I wanted to be yours.
Not responding or saying a single breath of word, Taehyun sat silent.
"But when you told me you were breaking up with me, when you told me you were cheating on me... I hated myself. I hated myself because I couldn't bring myself to hate you!" As if he was holding it in for so long, Beomgyu blurts it out. Eyes slightly squinted and glossy, I hate that I can't hate you.
Hurting someone can be as easy as throwing a stone in the sea, but do you have any idea how deep that stone can go? That's what some people said, and Beomgyu wanted to ask him that.
Did he ever think about what would I feel if he did those? If he left me? If he cheated on me?
"When you left, I found it unfair. That you're already happy even before you broke up with me, while me? You were already carving down scars behind my heart without me knowing it!"
Taehyun wanted to speak, but he couldn't. Not like this, not now. He wanted to tell the little one that everything was his fault, and that Beomgyu didn't deserve all those- but no matter what angle you look at it, he was at fault. No matter what explanation he'll come up with, no matter how much he apologizes- he can never mend the open scar he carved on the little one for so long.
"The most painful lie you ever told me was that you'd never leave me when even before you promised that, you were already drifting away from me," Tears slowly stopped rolling down his cheeks. His face was stained with tears, eyes blood shot, and lips slightly trembling.
Finally, Taehyun spoke.
"Beomgyu, I still love you, but I don't love you like I did before. We never really stop loving anyone, we just learn how to bury it deep within the bottoms of our heart- I just wanted to say, that even if you'll never forgive me, or you'll never be able to smile at me again... it's okay," Said Taehyun.
Loss with words, Beomgyu stood silent. Did I just blurted all those for nothing? Mentally slapping himself, he sighed. Wiping away the last strain of tears on his cheeks, and sniffled.
"Huening Kai is a good person, so please, toughen up," Beomgyu said before turning around in an attempt to leave.
"Oh and," He looks over his shoulder with a small smile.
"Since the moment you walked away from my room that day we broke up..."
Taehyun stares at him, not expecting the next words the little one said would make him smile, but at the same time, cry.
"... I already forgave you."
scent.
[a/n]: beomgyu's character is too kind. wonder where he got that from
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