Lost and Fallen (Memories #1)

Chapter 38

Others say that the most painful part in falling inlove is loving someone who can't love you back. That's what they say but for me its okay. Although you'll feel pain but then pain is invetable in love.

Its always there, like a substance.

For me, you can't force someone to like you back. Kasi hindi lahat ay kailangan pareho kayo ng nararadaman. Kaya siguro kahit lantaran ang pagpapakita ni Zryll ng pagkadigusto sa akin ay parang hindi ko ramdam ang sakit.

Because I know, I can't be desperate for his feelings.

Watching him from afar and being with him in every bond of our friends is enough for me. I'm contented with that.

I was use to that, I was use to his cold treatment and it continued until we graduated in junior high and entered the world of Senior High. I took ABM strand together with Jonah while Alavi took HUMMS. Sama-sama ang mga boys na kumuha ng STEM including Zryll tanging si Jupiter lang ang kumuha ng Automotive- kailangan sa kaniya kasi Kotse ang business ng Family nila.

Meanwhile, I was a bit sad because Kuya Breeze move out from the house, hindi ko alam kung saan ang condo niya pero siguro malapit sa college institute na pinag-enrollan niya. Nakakalungkot lang kasi mag-isa na ko sa bahay, hindi ko alam pero for this past months madalas magtalo sina Mommy at Daddy dahilan para maging workaholic sila at weekends na lang umuwi. Pero kapag nasa bahay naman ay walabg ginawa kundi mag-away.

Our cold home become more colder than before, without them it feels like the house were empty.

Natigilan ako ng maramdaman ang tapik ni Jonah sa balikat ko.

"So ano na? Kwento mo naman sa amin kung anong nagyari matapos kang hinatid ni Zryll."

Uminit ang pisngi ko nang maalala ang kahapon kahit na wala namang improvement dahil sa bumaba nga ako sa may subway. Nagpanic ako ng ungkatin niya ang tungkol sa shared post ko dahilan para iwanan ko siya sa kotse niya. It makes me feel uncomfortable, I'm not use to him acting as if he cared for me kasi hindi naman siya ganiyan noong Junior High kami, mukha ng siyang badtrip kapag sumasama ako kay Kuya pero ngayong parang may nagbago sa titig niya. Nagsimulang magbago ang pakikitungo niya akin nitong Senior na kami at grumaduate na sila Kuya.

My eyes went to Jonah beside me. I gave this kind of look like telling her she owe me something. "Speaking of that, akala niyo okay na ko ha, hindi ko malilimutan na pinagkanulo niyo ko sa kaniya. Talagang sinakyan niyo ang trip nila Throne."

Kumapit siya sa braso ko at masuyong sinabayan ako sa paglalakad. Bibit ko kamay ang libro namin sa Fundmentals of Accounting. Natatawang kinuha niya ang libro sa kamay ko.

"Ito naman kung makatampo akala mo hindi niya ginusto ang nangyari. Actually, that's Alavi's idea. Sobrang bagal daw kasi ng progress niyo ni Zryll. So she take the move. What happened ba?"

I shrugged my shoulder. Inalala ko ang nangyari nong araw na yon.

Nang mawala sa paningin ko ang kotse niya ay siya namang paglakas ng ulan. Naghintay ako doon sa may mga entrance ng stores para magpatila at makapagbook ng grab. Hapon na ko ng makauwi and when I got I was about to go to sleep when my phone beep.

It was him.

I don't know how he get my number. But by the idea of him texting me makes me feel flushed and deepen my so I thought shallow feelings for him.

The text were short and simple. He's just asking if I got home safe and he introduce his self. Kahit na hindi na kailangan kasi matagal na siyang may numero sa cellphone ko, talagang wala lang akong lakas ng loob na e message siya noon. I was hoping that maybe someday he'll contact me and like a dream come true, he did.