Lost and Fallen (Memories #1)

Chapter 45

With my fist tightly gripping the soft matress of our backseat, I bowed my head and watch my tears fall down from my cheeks. For the last time, I raised my head up and look back to watch the place I live in getting smaller in my eyes. Nanginig ang balikat ko sa pag-iyak. Sumilip ako sa labas ng bintana at mas lalong napahagulgol ng makitang palabas na kami sa proper ng Isla. Unti-unti naring napalitan ang mga mayabong na puno ng mga kabahayan.

Am I finally leaving Isla Nalangan?

Totoo na ba to? Parang biglaan naman ata, I can't accept this, I wont! Sobrang saya lang namin kanina tapos ganito na, sa isang kisap mata ay nakasakay na ko sa SUV namin at mabilis na umaandar papuntang Manila. Ni hindi nga ko nakapagpa-alam kay nanay.

Ano na lang ang sasabihin niyon?

At si Asyo...

I clutched my chest as I felt the throbbing pain inside, its his birthday tapos ito pa ang nangyari. Pero sa loob loob ko, nasaktan ako nang tumigil siya sa paghabol ng kotse namin. Its not that I want him to chase after me, because I know its impossible when our car is driving so fast pero sana hindi naman siya ganoon ka dali sumuko.

I wipe my tears, put my palm on my face and cried there endlessly.

My teeth gritted when I felt a heavy hand tapping my back as if consoling me. But the truth is no one could ease the pain I'm feeling now. No one!

"It's okay Berry, We're going home" he said,  he sounds like I've been waiting for those words to come out. Like it could bring back those feelings that I lost all through the times that I lost myself too.

Home?

Ano nga ba ang tunay na meaning ng salitang iyan. Home... Is it where you are born with and grow up or its a place where you found peace and felt comfort regardless of who you are with.

"Stop crying, they're not worth for your tears."

Naibaba ko ang palad na nakatakip sa mukha at marahas na nilingon si Hawthrone. How could he say that? Hindi niya sila kilala. Doesn't he know that they are with me during the times that I don't have anything. They are my family, the one who fill the space leave by my biological one

"What?" I asked, my voice filled with irritation. "Did you hear yourself Throne?"

"Yes Berry, I know what I'm talking about. You don't belong there so stop being emotional and fixed yourself."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Asshole! How could you say that to a person who have been in accident, lost her memories and live for months away from her family."

His jaw clenched.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you Berry." he look at me with a hint of pity with those foreign eyes. "Believe me, its not easy for us too, knowing that you are missing and wounded. It breaks our heart when time is ticking yet we couldn't track you down."

I shook my head.

He scrouch down, he leveled his face to my eyesight and watch me intently. " You have all the rights to be emotional but not with them as a reason. They are not worth it. They don't deserve it. He shouldn't have you in the first place."

My forehead knotted.

"Wala silang kasalanan Throne. Hindi mo naiintindihan e. Bakit parang galit ka pa sa kanila gayong ang mga taong naiwan ko doon ay mga taong kumupkop sa akin. They are nothing but good person"

Gumalaw ang panga niya sa inis sa mga salita ko. Nagpatuloy ako sa pagdepensa sa kanila.

"Parang pamilya ko na sila, they took care of me when I have nothing and love me as if I grow up with them. Kaya please Throne let's go back. I don't want to leave them like that."