Chapter 12

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Blair POV

Chapter Song:
At My Best - Machine Gun Kelly & Hailee Steinfeld

I sat at the family kitchen table, staring at the desert that sat in front of me, moving it around my plate, it was easier to focus on that then the actual situation around me.

My sister talking about the wedding and my dickhead ex gushing over it.

I'm almost certain he didn't even put this much effort into our engagement.

Yeah you heard right.

We had been down this road about 4 years ago, but called it off because he suddenly "wasn't ready".

I should have seen all the massive red flags waving in my face then, but I was blind, stupid and under the influence of love, leaving it up to him, under the notion that we would get engaged again much later, when we were both more mature and financially stable.

Yeah right, more like he's gonna go off and fuck your fat bitch of a sister for the next 4 years, ultimately falling in love with her, ending the whole affair by getting married to her, all while rubbing it in your face every moment they get.

And now as I zone in and out trying to ignore them and pretend that I don't care, they're talking about children.

My stomach twisted and I felt nauseous looking at them, excusing myself to the bathroom, I got up and went and locked myself in my old bedroom, opening the window and lighting up the joint I had hidden in my bag.

I was angry with every single one of them.

My parents, event though they were disappointed with the whole situation I couldn't expect them to disown my sister, it was their daughter after all.

My ex, because he wasted years of my time when I could have gone and actually found someone that would love me unconditionally like he Apprently loves my goddamn sister.

I let tears run down my face.

I don't know if it was wise to keep doing this, the more I was around them, the more I felt my mental state slipping, in reality I wasn't coping, at all, and the pain of it it wasn't dulling.

How can someone claim to love someone and then destroy them, just like that.

It was an obvious fact that maybe he never did love me, maybe I was just a pretty bit of arm candy to hand off his arm until he made partner, then he could downgrade and marry my sister.

Marshall was right, it's not going to just disappear, there is no getting over this just like that.

Laying on the window seat with the window cracked I puffed away on the joint, the buzz radiating through my body.

My sister.

That grotesque bitch.

How the fuck could you even do something like that to your own blood and not feel like a piece of shit, and parade around like she's in some fucked up fairytale where she's met prince charming.

Well bitch, Prince Charming was actually banging both sisters for over 4 years.

That's going to be fun to mention at the wedding.

Oh wait, I'm banned from any announcements or toasts.

Like that's gonna stop my mouth after I get a few drinks in me.

Don't they want their friends and family to know the romantic story of their whirl wind romance up until now? Because I'm more then happy to divulge the information, in detail.

I put the but out then ditched it out the window, not really giving a shit that I smelt like weed.

Standing in the middle of my old room and looked around, it still looked the same as what it did before I moved out, my tiaras from pageants, gymnastics and dance awards and Ofcouse my home coming queen sash and crown.

All hung up on the walls and sitting on their respective shelves.

I ran my fingers over my framed law degree and snorted to myself.

I use to pride myself in being the best, but now? Now I just fly under the radar at being mediocre, working shitty catering and bottle service jobs, getting hit on by old dudes with money.

Speaking of old dudes with money, I dug through my Bag and pulled out my phone, swiping passed a bunch of messages from Colson and opening a new message.

I don't know why I thought it was a good idea but it was better then what I was dealing with right now.

And why the fuck not.

To Unknown: Want to get drunk with me?

I knew exactly what it was gonna be, I smirked to myself as I waited.

From Unknown: Bitch, what part of sober don't you fuckin understand?

To Unknown: Okay watch me get drunk or jack off, whatever.

From Unknown: I'm not your babysitter, I'm not going to sit with you while you get shitfaced and feel sorry for yourself and probably choke on your own vomit, go bother your friends or ya boy or some shit, I'm busy.

To Unknown: I know you're not busy, what could you possibly be busy doing? Watching reruns of golden girls? Please save me, I've had a rough night at a family dinner listening to wedding plans and I'm ready to hang myself.

He didn't answer right away so I forced myself down stairs.

I was so desperate to make an excuse to leave that I was texting someone that I really didn't like sober, but it seems the feeling is both ways.

Kelsey was doing the long night shift at her work and most of my other friends were busy, there was Colson but I didn't want to fly out to see him and I was still pissed about his little meltdown over Marshall.

I sat down on the couch, while Alison was going over her wedding still.

I wanted to drown myself in alcohol right about now, might as well start, looks like I'm in for a long night.

I skulled my wine and went and got another glass.

I honestly didn't know if I was gonna survive the rest of the night, I contemplated making an excuse and drinking myself into a catatonic state.

I focused on some family photos, smiling faces, back when my sister and I were close, bestfriends.

Should I even be trusting my own bestfriends?

The last few months had me questioning every person in my life.

I don't know if I'm ever going to to trust someone again, anyone, if even your own blood is willing to betray you, who can you trust?

My phone vibrated in my pocket, I pulled it out.

From Unknown: Am I coming to get you or are you getting here yourself?

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