ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ, ꜰɪɴɴ ᴡᴏʟꜰʜᴀʀᴅ x-ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Ｐａｒｔ ６５

Before this part starts I wanted to let you know that tomorrow I will not be posting I have something huge planned for tomorrow but I will be right on track after tomorrow! I hope you understand, thank you love you all♡
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Y/n pov

About a week passed, I've been having nightmares constantly. It makes me scared to fall asleep, I only told Jack but nothing is helping. Pills dont do anything. I dream I'm in a pitch black hole all alone and there's no one their too help me out to the light above me. I call out Finn's name but no one can save me, I'm too far in. Jack told me I scream in pain in my sleep like I'm dying. When he wakes me up I feel this awful feeling all over my body, numbness. Then my lungs feel shitty, like I'm out of breath.

Jack thinks I should take a break and get away from campus, I wanted to go to online school for the rest of the fall semester and stay with my mom again. I know she would enjoy that. My eyes feel heavy all the time I'm exhausted. Before I consider more moving I need to talk to Finn.

Finn pov

The only thing I think about is how much I miss her. I've been sleeping less, being around friends less. I havent talked to her for a week, same with Jack. Everyone tried to give me a pep talk to talk to her but I cant get myself to. Now that I'm thinking about talking to her, I remember a week before Jaden's album release party, that amazing day we had together.

*a week before Jaden's album release party Finn's pov*

Y/n and I got her dorm all to ourselves, the whole day. We woke up together and were watching movies together cuddling. We laughed, ate, and kissed.

"If you could have a superpower for a day what would it be?" She asks.
She's so adorable when she asks random questions,
"Hmm I would have reading mind powers." I say.
"Why?" She giggles.
"So I can know what's going on in the gorgeous head of yours." I laugh and give her a kiss on the forehead,
"Wow." She giggles.
"What about you?" I ask.
"Teleporting definitely." She smiles.
"Why?" I ask.
"Well I could travel the whole world in one day, see so many places, and maybe if I hold someone's hand they could come with me too." She grabbed my hand and I smiled.
"That's definitely a better choice than mine." I giggle and hold her hand ferm.
"D-Do you think we will be together f-forever?" She asked shyly.
I grabbed her other hand and sat up from her bed, she sat up too and looked into my eyes,
"One day Y/n, I plan on marrying you." I say.
"You do?" She seemed a little surprised.
"Yes of course! Your amazing, funny, smart, literally everything about you I love. I plan on buying a house together, getting married, having k-kids." I hesitated to say having kids, I know she isnt ready to, you know.
"Having kids?" She asks.
I couldn't tell her emotion, those mind reading powers would come in handy right now,
"Y-Yeah, sorry I got carried away. I know in order to have kids we have to-" I stopped talking waiting for her to say something.
"I would love to have kids with you Finn." She grabbed my cheek softly, I love it when she does that.
"Really?" I ask.
"Yes! One day." She smiled.
"One day itll all be ours gorgeous." I say.
She smiled and kissed my cheek then I grabbed her face and kissed her lips. Once we pulled away I giggled,
"What?" She giggles too.
"You scared me their for a second I thought you were going to respond bad." I smile.
"Those reading mind powers would have come in handy." She laughs.
"That's exactly what I was thinking!" We laugh and I tackle her back down to the bed then I kissed her lips.

*end of daydream*

I've been day dreaming that day over and over, when she told me she would have kids with me. God I love her. My daydream faded into reality and I heard someone knocking on my door. I know that knock anywhere. Its her, I've had a week to think. I still need time.

I opened the door and I saw her, I felt a little weird seeing her. She seems different to me now. I wonder if she feels the same way.

"Hi." She says.
"Hey." I say.
There was a moment of silence then I opened the door wide so she would come in, when she did she just stood in the middle of the room and I closed the door. Then I went a little closer to her. We sighed and I thought of so many questions to ask and what to say. Before I could say anything she spoke.

"I'm sorry Finn." She says.
"I'm sorry too." I say.
"I know saying sorry doesnt fix everything but I just wanted you to know that I am very sorry." She says.

How can she speak so calmly without breaking down crying,

"Why didnt you tell me?" I ask.
"I-I thought you would feel bad that I wasn't happy and the idea of going to Justin's house." I say.

I would have felt bad but I would have helped her. If she really needed to go to see him I would have took her and made sure she was safe.

"Honestly I don't like that you went to his house at all I mean come on he hurt you badly." I sigh.
"I know." She took a deep breath,
"But I would have protected you and helped you with anything-" I say.
She looked back up at me and I felt my eyes water,
"Do you not know that?" I ask.
"I do I do Finn." She says.
"Then why didnt you tell me?" I ask.
"I-I was scared." She says.
A tear fell down my cheek and she wiped it with her thumb, I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"But you shouldn't be scared to tell me your hurting I'm your boyfriend!" I cry.

I pushed off her hand,
"Finn we can work though this right?"
"Yes- No- I dont know." I sat down and covered my face.
"No? You think we cant get though this?" I saw her facial expression change.
"I-I dont know." I sigh.

There was a moment of silence then I looked up at her.

"You know what Finn your not the only one who is hurt." She cries.
"I know but-"
"No you dont, I came back here to fix things because I want to be with you regardless of what you did to me too!" She cried more and I thought about what she said.
"We need more time." I say.
"Obviously we do then." She wiped her tears.
"I'm sorry." I wiped my tears too.

She was about to walk out, I watched her about to leave but then she stopped and turned around,

"Before I go, why did you lie to me?" She asks.
"I was scared-" it was hard for me to say that then she looked at me so hurt,
"That's how it is." She sighed and was about to walk out again,
"I want to be with you Y/n." I say.
"Your not showing it. What happened to what you said?! Marriage, a house, and kids." She cried.
"I still want those things." I say.
"Yeah whatever." She sighed and walked out.

My heart wanted to chase after her and tell her I love her. But my head said let her go. I cant get myself together, as much as I miss holding her and kissing her I just cant.
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I hope you all have a good weekend!