When You LOVED Me...

5.

*Unedited*

Mia stared at herself in the mirror draped in all red wedding attire and heavy jewelry which her In-laws had sent for the bride but now she was wearing them, the substitute bride. She had almost called herself beautiful if it was not for her dead and swollen orbs.

Her mother entered the empty room, without a word she lifted her dupatta from her head and pulled it down till her neck forming a veil. The cloth was thick and jewelled with golden embroidery, it obstructs her view and she can only saw her feet.

"It's time." her mother said, but she didn't reply. She stood up robotically and started walking behind her mother. Her tears had dried and she was numb now. She had accepted her fate. This marriage was her fate.

Her mind was so numb that she couldn't comprehend her surrounding. When they reached the main ceremony hall, loud chatter boomed in her ears and an instant headache hit her. She closed her eyes to compose herself and took a slow step towards the main hall.

It was like she was there, but she was not there. Her ability to lose herself in thoughts came in handy. But this time she was not lost in thoughts but numbness.

Her veil was also helping, it obstruct her view as if obstructing reality.
In Vermalla Ceremony she panicked a little when the veil hindered her view of the groom and she realized she hadn't known how the groom looks like. She was so much ignorant to give a damn earlier.

But she calmed herself by thinking, it doesn't matter. Nothing would matter to her anymore.

The Wedding felt extremely stretched, the chants of priests, the mantras, the spheres. It started taking a toll on her so she blocked it out. She heard a little commotion when the priest said to unveil her for tying the Mangalsutra (a sacred thread) and Sindoor ritual(putting Vermilion in her head).

Then Aunt Mandira half unveiled her in a way that the process becomes swift but her face remains hidden. She didn't try to lift her head or eyes either. She felt hands around her neck tying the knot and a few seconds later hands applying Sindoor to her forehead. A lone tear fell from her eyes when the priest announced them as husband and wife.

She was married now.

After taking blessings from all family members they made their way to the stage and sat on the chairs. Relatives came and gave their blessings and took photographs but strangely nobody lifted her veil.

After hours her mother came to her and repeated the same words she said at the start. She sighed when she got to know they neither have to pose for couple photographs nor attend the family dinner.

Her mother with few other girls took her into another one of the secluded rooms. Her mother offered her dinner but she declined. She would puke if she would eat something. Her mother didn't press.

She felt at ease when brought to the silence. The loud chanting and unending congratulations were unbearable to her. She couldn't count how many times her forehead was bumped into his as blessings which were one of the reasons for her massive headache.

She wanted to cry but she held it in. She had cried enough. A wave of tiredness washed over her. She tried to fight it but soon enough she lost and fell into deep darkness.

*****

She woke up startled by light shaking on her shoulders. For a moment she couldn't remember where she was, then all things came crashing down on her when her eyes fell on the wedding dress. Tears formed in her eyes because her senses were not strong enough to hold them. She blinked them and her gaze focused on Mrs. Meera who was looking at her with an expression of tenderness.

From looking at the window she noticed that the most horrible night of her life was not over yet. She flinched when hands came on her cheeks to wipe her tears. She was a vulnerable, disoriented mess at that time who just want to live in denial forever.

But she knew she fantasizes too much.

Mrs. Meera helped her to stand up on her legs then she hugged her, an unexpected gesture that shocked her first. But soon she melted in the motherly comfort she needed.

After some time Mrs. Meera guided her out of the room. She didn't ask where she was talking to her. She silently followed her in the lift which started moving up. Mrs. Meera fixed her dress then put her veil back, obstructing the view, obstructing the reality.

She took her to a long aisle, then they entered a room. Then she spoke the words that made her blood ran cold.

"Mia I think you were mature enough to know that this is your wedding night. I am assuming that you know what you had to do. Just be strong, okay." then she left.

Mia just stood there, frozen. But when she couldn't hold her weight on her legs she sat on the edge of the bed. Dread traveled through her body but she was in absolute denial of her situation.

Her body shivered when cold air seeped through the window into the room. She lifted her veil and went to the window and stared outside. Stars, stars that give her hope, comfort, that fascinated her, even that stars couldn't manage to console her heart today. Her heavy dread-filled heart didn't flutter when she gazed at them.

When she heard the sound of opening the door, she didn't dare to move. She just stayed there like a statue, prevailing the moment in which she has to face her reality and this marriage would become more real than ever.

She tensed when she heard footsteps coming towards her. Then she felt hands turning her around. She closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them her gaze met with striking blues, which held confusion in them.

He was the stranger from the terrace, she remembered. But his gaze didn't hold recognization in them. They held confusion and furry and his next words just confirmed that.

"Who are you?"

*****

        Mia's wedding attire

*****