Yeosang x Ateez

Confidence

(here's today's food)
Yeosang becomes bold and decides to explore the sexual side of his life.

He was never really interested when he could hear his members through the walls but now he just got this sudden tingle in his groin.

Sure he had gotten himself of a few times but he always did it quick with a face full of heat. He never went further than that.

After debuting though he started to get urges towards his members. He regularly enjoyed the hip thrusts from the members. He'd usually find himself hidden in the bathroom.

He'd regularly be checking out his members crotches under the disguise of his phone, a book or from afar.
Yeosang felt happy he had these urges despite the embarrassment.

So here he was in the shower touching himself. He had just seen his eldest hyung half naked and his mind went places they shouldn't but he couldn't help himself. He knows its wrong to think about him that way especially since he's devoted to hongjoong and vice versa.

He had thought like this numerous times  all about his already taken members. He'd regularly want to join in woosans banging session. He'd regularly want to be underneath any of his members.

After he finished he collapsed to the bottom of the shower and sobbed. His sobs couldn't be heard over the rushing water but he still tried to stay quiet.

"why, why is this happening to me?" he whispered into the waterfall above him.
He started degrading himself, saying he himself is worthless and such. He couldn't blame himself. All the guilt from what he has done rushin onto his shoulders making him clench the tiled wall.

" dammit, I'm such a pathetic thing" he whispered to himself with a small smile.

He got out of the shower shut it off and dried himself off before changing and heading to his bedroom.
He collapsed onto his bed and fell asleep right away.

This continued into the next few days. He couldn't hold himself up anymore without wanting to burst into tears. He didn't break until seonghwa asked one single question in their shared room.

"are you OK? Yeosang" once seonghwa softly spoke to him like a mother would something snapped in him and he collapsed into sobs.

Seonghwa looked concerned but brought him into a hug. Yeosang clenched his fists onto the blue pyjamas seonghwa was wearing. He clenched his fists tightly as he sobbed I to seonghwas neck. Seonghwa soothed him with head pats, soft mumbles of reassurance and lettin him release his stress.

Once Yeosang was calm seonghwa asked another question.
"are you ae to tell me what's wrong yep?" seonghwa whispered still wrapped up in a hug.

Yeosang nodded in seonghwas neck and  moved away.
"can the other members be there too?" Yeosang spoke with a sniffle. Seonghwa smiled and nodded. He turned to his phone and opened the group chat. He messaged them to meet in the front room before turning his phone off and getting to his feet pull-in Yeosang up as well.

Seonghwa stayed by Yeosangs side as he cuddled him waiting for the others to arrive.
Five minutes later a bunch of sleepy pre adults were sitting on the couch.

Yeosang stood up and stood in front of them. He spoke softly with tears in his eyes which pulled everyone's attention to him and forgetting their need to sleep.

"what is it Yeosang?" hongjoong asked nicely and Yeosang bit his lip.
"I want to apologise to you all" Yeosang said and everyone exchanged confused looks.
"for what?" mingi asked softly and Yeosang sucked in a deek breath.
"before debut I was never interested in anything that you guys do with each other, I just never wanted to take part in it b but after debut I- something changed. I started to understand the morales of what you guys do and I'm ashamed to say I got interested in that stuff. I I didnt want to but eventually it became too much, I started seeing you all differently and I know that's wrong because you guys are dating someone here but I can't help it. I I m'sorry" Yeosang said before collapsing and curling into a ball.

Everyone was starstrucked and felt awkward but pushed it away when they saw Yeosang crimlle under his weight. His sobs piercing their hearts to were they sighed and looked at each other before creating a big group hug ignoring Yeosangs flinch.

They stayed there until Yeosang finished his crying and he was reduced to sniffles.
"m'sorry" he mumbled and the group sighed again.
"its fine yeo, for sure it'll get some getting used to but maybe this can work. We may not feel the same way you do but we can help in some way. I'm sorry we can't give you what you wish but I hope you understand we already love someone. Maybe eventually you'll oy be in love woth one person. These feelings usually are normal and since you said it's only recently since debut you've felt this it could be due to the foreign thing.

Usually when you're thrown into this it can complicate things but this won't change anything love. "seonghwa said and the others agreed.

Yeosang just nodded and returned to his room.

Few months later and sure enough seonghwa was right, he no longer held feelings nor thought of them anymore. OK so maybe he still does with jongho b it he decided he wouldn't act on it until he's at least 19 which is in a few weeks.

He could finally rid himself of guilt and return to normal. He spoke to his HYUNGS and dongsaemgs about the change as well as his crush on jongho but he didn't tell jongho yet.

They returned to their promotions and soon enough jonghos birthday passed quickly.

After a few days Yeosang finally held the courage to confess to jongho who accepted the confession and now they were dating.

It's been a confusing ride but he was happy he could sort out his feelings. Now he was happier than ever and it's only been a year of their carriers and a few months of him dating jongho.

Yeosang couldn't have asked for anything else.