or what, sir? |a. hotchner| ✔️

thirty seven

"Veronica, wait!" I turned, revealing the last person I wanted to see, looking at me desperately.

Aaron.

I was about to spin right back around, but he grabbed my hand. I glanced up at him, seeing his eyes were staring into mine. They were sad. 

His eyes got me every time, I couldn't pin point what about them did that to me though. Maybe it was the fact that behind his earthy hues rested his soul. Or maybe it was the fact that every time he looked at me, they would turn darker yet somewhat more gentle. 

I pulled away from his aggressively. "Don't touch me" I warned, and he looked around quickly. His lips were parted, like he was trying to figure out what to say to me. 

"Ronnie, please talk to me. You won't answer any of my calls or texts, please tell me what's wrong" I narrowed my eyes at his begging. 

Ronnie? 

He called me Ronnie? Was he really that desperate? 

Shaking my head, I crossed my arms. "Don't start caring about me now," I shot back, and he looked at me like I was crazy. 

"Veronica you know I care about you!" I scoffed. 

"That's not what you told Jessica" I pointed out, and his eyes went wide. He tried to respond, but he couldn't think of anything to say. I uncrossed my arms and stepped closer to him, "I was there for you, I always was. I was there when you got stabbed, I was there when your wife died" I pointed directly at his chest. 

I was so angry, I wanted to punch him. "All those times, the night at the bar. The night on the boat, the night you were sobbing into my chest" I started bringing up every little thing him and I did together, and then I laughed. "Remember the night at White bird? We talked and laughed till three am. Oh! You remember the night you sat there and voluntarily helped clean my gun wound?" 

Tears started to form in my eyes, I couldn't tell if it was out of pure frustration, anger, or sadness. I honestly think it was a mixture of all of the above, "And all you have to say about me is that I'm emotional support for your son? And that I'm nothing compared to the woman who cheated on you and left you high and dry?" I pushed him a little with my finger, 

"Fuck you." I strutted off, pushing both the doors of the police station open. The air was bitterly cold, it sending shivers down my spine. But the freezing temperatures didn't distract me from letting out a loud sob, covering my mouth with my hand. 

I was already shaking, I didn't need any help from the weather. I was so sad, so tired and angry all in one. I was sick of feeling how I did. 

I was sick of being in love with Aaron Hotchner. 

My eyes went wide as I thought that, I slowly took my hand away from my face. 

Oh my God, I was in love with Aaron Hotchner. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, I can't believe I let myself actually fall for this man. This man who actually didn't care about me at all. I heard the doors open behind me, making me turn my head. 

There stood a worried Derek, examining my face. He quickly took off his jacket, putting it on my shoulders. I nuzzled closer to it, looking back at him with my sad and glassy eyes. He sighed, "Giggles, I'm sorry" He let out, and he wrapped his warm arms around me. I did the same thing, resting my head on his chest. 

I continued to cry, and he started to stroke my hair. 

I was just so tired.