Unwanted by Matthew

This isn't me.

I watched as Hayes nearly admired each step he took, It caught my eye for some odd reason.
Hayes unlocked and opened the front door, motioning me in before him.
"What Is there to do now? I usually just hung around Matthew. But now I'm alone." I thought to myself.
Hayes could tell I was thinking hard, I stood in the middle of the living room, left fist clintched.
I felt hopeless, and worthless. If Matt didn't even want his own girlfriend, who would.
"Are you okay?" Hayes slowly asked as he walked towards me, placing the keys on the counter.
I shook my head, falling to my knee's. Hayes quickly grabbed me.
"Ariel!" Hayes yelled in concern. As Hayes was down by me, he rubbed my back which gave me breath taking goosebumps.
"It's going to be okay ariel, I promise. I don't know why Matt did this, he has never done this before." Hayes said.
All of it made me feel like it was all my fault, which lead me covering my face with my cold hands.
"That makes it even worse, because was I that bad that he had to cheat on me for the first time? You know what he told Mahogany?" I cried.
Hayes shook his head in disbelife.
"What?" Hayes responded.
"He said that He was only with me because he was afriad that if he left me that I would commit suicide and that he would get the blame for it. Which is something he doesn't want." I said, wiping the tears that continued to run down my face.
Hayes was speechless. "Are you sure?" He whispered.
I got up off of the floor, pushing my hair out of my face.
"Yes! That's what he said!" I yelled.
"Fuck it." I cried as I turned around heading for mine and Matthew's room.
I could feel that Hayes followed me.
"Where are you going?" Hayes asked concerned.
I shook my head. "Going to sit in the shower!" I yelled walking into the room.
"Please don't harm yourself." Hayes replied.
I laughed internally as I closed the door behind me. Walking to the mirror and standing infront of it, I couldn't regconize who was staring back at me. It wasn't me, this person looked drained. The person who stared back had nothing left in them, make up running down the face, pale and perhaps extreamly skinny but fat in her eyes.
I leaned onto the counter, holding myself up for dear life.
"Why does everyone hate me so much?"
"I am nothing."
"You fucking whore. Go kill yourself."
"You aren't worth the time Ariel."
"You are fat and ugly! Starve yourself."
"Cut deeper."
All of these tormenting thoughts, chased my heart and lead me to believe they were true.