Holding On

chapter 16.

Amaras P.O.V

"You sure he isn't angry at me" I ask Everly one last time, his been ignoring me since this morning and if I'm noticing properly his getting drunk, I thought he doesn't drink, I don't have a problem with it I just want him to be okay, we have a movie date tomorrow and I expect him to be early.

"His just mad that you threw him out" Everly finally admits. My heart actually tugs in my chest. I feel awful for that but I have no idea how to show him it's not like that anymore. Sure it was in the beginning, all I wanted was a distraction from my own boring life but after he made initiatives to help me with my mom I started seeing him as something more.

"Can i trust you with these kids? We will all be in loads of trouble for letting them be here, well you or Tyler isn't supposed to be drinking either" the weight of the age gap just hit me. His so young, what am i doing?

I don't care what I'm doing I just need to talk to him, but what do I say? I can't just rock up and be like 'baby boy I'm so sorry about this morning....uhmm yeah I want more than a fuck buddy now you up for it' that conversation won't go well. I'll just stay put until I'm ready.

"Hey Amara you think we could talk" Peyton scoots closer to me, for a second it pains me to take my eyes of him, how he sits bending over the bar table.

"Yes, what do you need" I see that helping her gets my mind calm of him.

"Well it's about a certain boy" I know who is already.

"See the thing is I feel ready to try new things and experiment but I don't know how to go about it, basically I want to try and.... well... I sort off".

"Want to bang him" I put her out her misery.

"Well yeah but no, I need to make a move, I know he gives off fuck boi vibes and Tyler especially thinks his a fuck boy, but I spoke to Everly already, that's his personality, well according to her, I'll never know unless I try you see".

"So make your move" I'm a little annoyed now, there's a waiter with a low hanging crop top that's showing half her tits , who thinks it's a good idea to be around Tyler. I'm not jealous don't mis read me, if he chooses to pay attention to her then that's his mistake, but I'm not going to be the crazy obsessive girl whose going to make a scene. He is a grown ass man and is mature enough to take responsibility for his own actions.

"Never mind Amara" I hear Peyton shouting and smile when I see Everly's brother dragging her to the corner. I look over to the other and watch Lucus and Everly talking peacefully, not only is that a first, but also a relief. I don't want her hitting on me anymore.

"Uhmmm hi babe" I get a kiss from him, and then follow his gaze back to the waitress, making sure she saw him. That's weird I expected him to do otherwise.

Wait my brain and heart can not comprehend this, his making sure that this woman SAW HIM KISS ME! What!

"Listen baby I'm so sorry bout this morning I'm just not used to getting ready with someone around me. I never meant to hurt you" I stand on my tip toe to place a kiss on his jaw.

He smiles down at me and then takes another sip of his drink. He automatically looks at his drink and then me and his smile fades away.

"I'm sorry I know I shouldn't drink anymore" he pushes his glass away.

"Why" I ask him as if he was stupid.

"Well Cait and nea made me want to change and.." oh his exes made him feel like that.

I grab the glass and hand it to him "babe drink as much as you want. Hell I've got a joint we can smoke later, I'd never ask you to change who you are for me, you want to get drunk get drunk, my only job is to stop you from getting addicted and to stop you before you hit the floor, other than that let's buy you some more shots" I laugh at him when he looks at me as if I sprouted horns or something. I just think it's sad that his never experienced a healthy relationship, well neither did I so maybe I meant his never had a girl willing to give him a healthy relationship.