Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

13

Trigger warning: Heart Attack.

Kenma looks me in the eye as if he was thinking about whether he'd have a talk with me or not. I hold on to him as I catch my breath, waiting a response from him; hoping he'd say we can.

He suddenly furrows his brows and lets out a sigh. He turns to the girl, looking down to the ground as he thought of an answer. He'll say no. I back away, taking a few steps back to leave. The hesitation in his eyes was enough for me to understand that he'd say no.

"M-Maybe this was a wrong time for me to say that haha.." I bite my bottom lip and stop walking back, I let out an awkward chuckle as I scratch the back of my head. "You guys must've had a plan, I could leave. I unde--"

"I'm sorry." He says to me, turning around to face the girl. I stare at the floor and rub my elbow. I feel embarrassed for being cut off by him. "But will you go ahead?" I look up, unable to believe what he just said. Is that a yes?

The girl bites her lips and nods at him, sparing me a glance-- she's mad at me. I'm sorry. "H-Hey, she was with you first.." He turns to me and walks up to me; he takes my left hand, pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket and he wrapped it around my wrist.

"You have a thing about.. chasing me when I'm about to leave." He chuckled and gently tied the handkerchief in place. He didn't let go of my hand, he's staring at it. "And.. you have a thing about avoiding and ignoring me.. but in the end, you'd want to talk." He looks up at me, eyes filled with both pain and happiness.

Now that we're actually all on our own, I can't think of anything to say. I can only stare at him and try to keep my beating heart, calm. He's saying nothing as well, it's kinda awkward but.. it's peaceful and I don't mind the silence between us.

Kenma suddenly lets out a chuckle and I tilt my head to the side, confused. "Talk.." I stuff my cheeks with air and pout my lips, looking to the ground to think of something to say. I really have nothing in mind. He gently squeezes my faces, making me blow the air out. "I can work with the silence. You don't have to say anything."

"But we wouldn't be talking if I don't say anything.." He shakes his head and smiles, making my heart race more that it already is. I am fine with the silence too, just that I said we'd talk but I'm quiet and nothing's coming out of my mouth.

Being in front of him and to be all on our own, I couldn't bring myself to ask him. It's too much for me to ask him, it's just something I'm not able of asking. I'm already embarrassed by being unable to speak, what more if I asked him about it?

"How about we head home?" I smile at him, and I try walking ahead for us to go but he held my forearm. He's not letting me go. "Kenma?" I turn to him and he just looked at me without saying anything. I tilt my head to the side, waiting for him to speak.

He lets go of my arm, bringing his hand down to hold mine. He stares at out hands, biting his bottom lip like he was hesitating. He lets go and shoves his hand in his pocket; I look at him, questioning him with my eyes and he just shakes his head.

We started walking and like earlier, we didn't say a word. I can hear the cars, crickets, the wind as it blew, and the flickering lampposts. I had to hold my skirt down, it's getting blown by the wind. He suddenly stopped walking and took off his jacket, he tied it around my waist. I mouth him a thank you and we continue walking home.

It's silent but it isn't awkward. I kinda like it. The silence is very calming and it's comfortable, I could live in silence if it was like this. Why are we silent again? Why didn't he speak? Wait— we're silent because of me. Why did I even have to ask myself that question?