Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

23

I've been ignoring Kenma's calls and messages ever since he left. I am stuck in my head, thinking if what gift I'm supposed to give him tomorrow. It's his birthday and I have no idea of what to give him.

I can't believe myself, he remembered my birthday and he even took me to watch the fireworks display.. and I'm here in bed, still thinking about what to give Kenma. I can try to bake now but we just ate apple pie! Also I can't buy a video game, it's too late.

I feel so bad for ignoring him but my anxiety's growing every time I read his messages. It just gets to me that I don't have a gift! (Y/n) what have you been doing that you couldn't even remember your boyfriend's birthday???

♥︎: Answer my calls, why are you ignoring me again?

♥︎: (Y/n) why aren't you replying?

♥︎: (Y/n)?????

♥︎: Did I do something wrong??

I'm sorry! How am I going to run away from him tomorrow? Should I just not go to school? How will I hide? Should I switch seats with Maki for a day? Or should I call in sick? Should I go to the mall in the morning then head to school in the afternoon?

I scream into my pillow, cursing myself for forgetting his birthday. He made my birthday very special but I forgot his! I'm being unfair! I have to do something... but what does he like? He likes apple pies and video games..? No! (Y/n) think! What does he usually look at when the two of you are out? Yeah all he looks at is me.

He likes hoodies..? No that's... that's definitely not it. Kenma would want something not too much nor too less, it has to be perfect. This is giving me anxiety. I have to think! Kenma likes... nothing in particular aside from the games and apple pie.

I can't sleep. I'm having so many bad thoughts.. What if he's disappointed? What if he gets mad at me for giving him nothing..? What will happen?? Will we end? I don't want us to end.. not on his birthday for the very least.. No, I don't want to at all.

Kenma's scary when he's mad, I don't want him to get mad at me. No.. the nightmare.. Is it going to happen? Will that scenario happen? Will we really break up if I give him nothing?? I just want to do something.. but I don't know what he likes or what he prefers. He knows what I like but I don't know what he likes.. Such a girlfriend I am.

I woke up in the morning— no— I was awake 'til the sun rose up. Honestly I have no idea why I was unable to fall asleep. At one point last night, my thoughts just froze and I was thinking of nothing, and that kept me all night. I have a headache.. This is stressful.

I head to the bathroom, sighing the moment I saw my reflection. My eyes are red and they had bags under them. I cursed myself for the same reason as I undressed to take a shower. I'm actually really scared. It's been a while since I've gotten an angry Kenma— not that he was ever mad at me before.

Eating breakfast was a pain. My head was full of his birthday and I had nothing else to think about. I message my friends in advance, telling them to help me get away from Kenma as much as they could. I really need their help on that.

"Sweetheart are you okay?" My mom asks and I nod my head, reluctantly taking bites of my pancakes. "Are you sure?" I nod as I take the last piece.

I drank water and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'm sorry.. I have nothing.. I head to my bedroom and got my bag before leaving for school. I told my friends to meet me by the front gate and that they should be there before I even get there.