Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

31

trigger warning: anxiety.

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

If it's what they want from me, then I guess.. I'd sacrifice my feelings over this matter and just do as they say. Mom said it, we're not together by the law. I don't have rights over her. Her parents are the only ones who could decide on this matter.

"Thank you." I just nod, letting my tears continue to flow.

I must've been very lacking in a lot of areas. Maybe learning how to do all sorts of house chores just for her, weren't enough in their eyes. I'm imperfect. They must want someone else for her, and.. I don't get why but I agree with them.

Our parents left to discuss more things. If they were planning on keeping her memories away from her, the truth about our relationship, then why are they making me keep everything? What? A souvenir?  Is this my punishment?

"Kenma, why did you just agree on that?" Maki looked at me with so much pain in her eyes, I could only cry and accept their decision. "(Y/n) doesn't even like that..."

"We should complain.. Ena, Maki, and I will complain in your stead. They'll understand.." Honami's voice broke. I only cried more, feeling my chest pounding in pain.

"You heard my mom." They shook their heads. You guys are so stubborn. "Whatever she said is true and right. No matter how I want to decide on this for us.. I'm just her boyfriend." I let go of her hand. Mine are shaking.

"Then are you going to make her suffer for years?!" Ena yelled, sounding hurt and angry at the same time. I want to protest, but I don't have any say in this. "Do you actually think that you'd be the only one who'd be in pain?! For fuck's sake Kenma! She'd be searching for you.." 

I can feel my heart ache more every second, every moment I think of her, every scenario I could imagine happening while I'm pretending to be someone she doesn't know. It hurts to even think about it, but what can I do? I'm nothing compared to her parents!

Yamamoto walks up to me and grabbed my collar, pushing me to the empty wall. He's crying too. He held his fist up and threw a punch to my face. I'll accept every punch he'll throw at me. It's one of my punishments for being me.

"Can't you understand how hard it is for all of them?!" He pushed me to the wall, making me let out a cough. "If you are hurt, then why can't you understand how they're feeling? Kenma you're hurting yourself! More than anyone in this room, you're the one she's spent most of her time with.. giving you what she has.. why??"

"Now do you know how hurt (Y/n) is to see you hurting her friend?" I ask, glaring at him. "If you understand then let go of me. I don't think you should even say anything about this." He threw another punch to my face.

"Do you think my matter's the same as yours? (Y/n) is laying on that bed, fighting for her life as we speak." He says, pointing to my sleeping girlfriend without breaking eye contact. "If you love her, then do what's right."

"Are you doing what's right? Honami's pregnant with your child. Before you mind other people's business, can't you mind your own first?" I grab his hands and push them off me.

"Both of you just stop!" We both turn to see Honami, chest heaving probably from all the crying. That or, she's having complications. "Neither of you are doing the right thing! You guys don't love us as much as we've loved you!!"

I move my jaw to see if my face hurts, it somehow does. But what hurts more is to see everyone opposing to my choice. They don't know the weight of what I'm carrying. They shouldn't try to change my mind, it's already filled with her.. don't fill it with something else.