His Jewl// BTS SOULMATE AU (Completed)

8: More Talks

I wake up with a pounding headache and when I sit up I get a little dizzy, but that quickly passes and everything from last night comes rushing back. "Fuck!"

"Nari?" I sleepy voice sounds from the floor.

Confused I look over the foot of my bed and see Hoseok on my floor "Hoseok why are you on my floor?"

"I brought you home. You asked me to stay. But you were drunk so I wasn't going to sleep in your bed." He sits up

"Oh."

"Where do you keep your Tylenol?"

"Bathroom, in the cabinet. But I can get it."

Hoseok shakes his head and gets up "I got it, you just stay there."

He heads into the bathroom and comes back a minute later with the small pill bottle. He shakes out 2 before handing them to me.

"Thank you." I just dry swallow the two pills

It's quiet for a few minutes while I think over what I should say to him "Hoseok."

His head snaps up like he was also lost in thought "Yeah."

"Come sit." I pat my bed "I wanna talk."

He nods and climbs in my bed and sits across from me "Go ahead. I'm all ears."

"So about what I said last night I'm sorry." I sigh trying to get a handle on my thoughts "It was wrong for me to say that your feelings aren't real if you actually have any at all. But I would like to explain why I said what I said and I don't want you to think I'm making excuses because I'm not. I really am sorry for what I said and it was wrong."

"Say whatever you need to say Nari."

"I never wanted to find my soulmate. Part of it being the things I experienced with other alphas, part of it being my mother and her expectations, but the biggest part is I didn't want and don't want someone to love me or like me or be with me because I'm their soulmate. I don't want whatever you may feel now or in the future to be because my ancestors said we're made for each other and you should love me. I want whatever your feelings are to actually be because of me. I want you to want me because of me not because the soulmate bond says you do. I've been holding you at arms length because I want to be sure that what I feel is real and not just because of the soulmate bond. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to either of us. We should actually want to be together, actually want each other."

"Nari, I know it's only been three weeks but I know what I feel is me and is real. I just want you to know that. But if you need more and need more time to know that for sure I'm not going to be mad at you for it. But I don't want you to hold me at arms length anymore, there is still alot more for us to learn about each other and I want to be able to learn those things and really get to know you. For us to know things are real we have to be real with each other and you need to not keep me held so far away. It's hurting both of us in the long run. I know your pre-heat is only three-ish weeks away, so for that time period I want to spend more time with you. Really get to know you and you really get to know me. I don't want your first heat with me to be an awkward one. If you end up needing more from me I want to be able to provide you with whatever you need."

"I won't anymore. And I think to start that you should know why I have a problem with male alphas."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to and you deserve to know why I may react a certain ways to certain things."

"Okay. Tell me as little or as much as you want."