Chapter Nineteen

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It's eating me inside. Everyday that passes by I feel it. Ever since the day that I rejected Hunter there hasn't been a day that I haven't felt it. Is it regret? It can't be regret. Like I said before, this is what I always wanted since day one, I wanted to be free from Hunter. Whatever it is I need to find a way to get rid of it because it's going to drive me insane.

It has been a month since the day Hunter walked out of my room and out of my life. I haven't talked to him ever since. I've seen him around but whenever he sees me all he does is ignore me. He doesn't talk to me or acknowledge my presence in any way.

"Hey Ken, do you think you could help me out after school?" Jessi asks me as we make our way to the cafeteria.

I look at her, "For what?"

"Well you seem really smart and I am really stupid in all the history stuff," She begins and I just roll my eyes, "And I was wondering if you could help me with my homework and I also want to hang out with you."

I smiled at her and nodded, "Yeah sure I'll help you out," I tell her and turned the corner to the main hallway.

Just as I turned I saw him. Hunter. He had one of his palms firmly set on the white wall of the hall and the other one around Kristi's waist. My chest suddenly feels tighter by the simple scene. A slight smirk crosses Hunter's lips as he bends down and kisses her. Just like that the feeling got tighter.

I am jealous and I have to admit it. If I don't it will only make it more difficult for myself. With the scene that is playing out in front of me I know I can't hold it in anymore. I know what the feeling is that have been with me day and night since the moment Hunter exit my room. It was a mixed feeling of regret, disappointment, and loneliness.

As much as I hate to admit it, I regret my choice I made with Hunter. When he asked me to try out our 'relationship' for real. Just a normal and simple relationship, but I rejected his proposition and I truly regret it. I think I knew I regretted it since the second 'no' came out of my mouth, but I was just too stubborn to admit it to myself.

I am disappointed on myself. I know I hold a grudge against Hunter for everything he did and I have never been like this. I usually forgive people very easily and I have never been know for holding a grudge against anyone. How could this have happen? Even after Hunter apologized a part of my body was still holding on to everything he did and not forgiving.

Loneliness is something I never liked feeling. The feeling of knowing that no one is there for you and that everyone has left your side. That's what I felt when Hunter turned his back on me and walked out of my bedroom door. It was as if he had just walked out of my life forever and I instantly felt it. I felt cold and alone. Hunter had always been there, even when I didn't want him to. He was there and in a weird, but special way, he made me feel like I was wanted. Maybe it was just his possessiveness but I truly felt wanted. I felt like I at least knew I had someone that wanted me, but now he is gone and the feeling is gone with him. I want to feel wanted, but especially by him. Everything is new and exciting with h-

Oh my god!, I think cutting off my self, I like Hunter...

I like Hunter and everything told me I did. I may have figured it out sometime in the past but I didn't want to believe it. How could I like someone who treated me like an object? Even if he is strikingly handsome he was was demanding and possessive. He always gave the orders but never received them. How could I like him? It was impossible so that why I denied it as much as I could, but I can't anymore. I have to admit it first in order to get over it.

Hunter is no longer with me. He has obviously moved on quickly and I should too. I shouldn't even feel heartbroken because he gave me an opportunity and I rejected it. I rejected it just as fast as he proposed it. Now it's way to late and I can't do nothing about it... nothing.

"Ken?" Jessi asks beside me, "Are you okay?"

I turned my gaze away from Hunter's make out session with Kristi, which I can't help but feel betrayed by her, to Jessi and grin, "Um, yeah just fine."

Jessi holds my gaze for a couple more seconds and then turns her head, "You know, Kristi was going to eventually do that," she says.

I look at her confuse, "What do you mean?"

She turns towards me once again, "She was going to go after Hunter the second you two split. She has always wanted Hunter to notice her and of course to be called his girlfriend," She informs me, "I think befriending you was just another way to get closer to Hunter."

I can't believe she played me. I actually thought that she was going to be a good friend. That maybe she just wanted to get to know me. Oh, how wrong I was. She just used me to get closer to Hunter. I was used and then ditched.

How is it possible that this has happened to me twice? Kristi wanted to be with Hunter. She used me for her own benefit. Hunter used me for his own ego. He wanted to prove to everyone that he could have anything and anyone he wanted. That he could call it his and no one will take it away from him. What is worse about all of this is that he made me fall for him. I was stupid enough to fall for him.

I can't do anything, though. I can only try to get over him. But something inside me tells me that it's going to be hard. That it's going to be difficult. Maybe living next to him is going to be a big downside in the process.

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What do you think? This is really crappy but hopefully not that much. I saw that some people didn't appreciate the ending of the last chapter. Sorry about that but I had to do it.

The more you guys vote and comment the faster I am going to update, so please vote and comment!

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