Family Matters

PART 2: Chapter Four

Ceres found herself in a comfortable space. It felt as if she was floating on a cloud and she snuggled deeper into the fluffy cloud. The cloud smelled oddly familiar...it smelled like...Hayden?

Ceres' eyes fluttered open and she saw that she was still in Hayden's bed but the boy was no longer next to her and his side was cold meaning he had left a while ago.

Just when she was about to get up and search for him, the door opened.

"Oh, you're up" Hayden said as he walked in. He was just coming to check up on her and while he wanted for her to get more rest, she also needed to eat.

"You can come eat if you feel up to it" Hayden said and Ceres nodded slightly but made no moves to get up. She had remembered that she wanted to tell Hayden what had been on her mind but sleep got the best of her.

"I told you I wanted to tell you something..." Ceres said.

'She's talking about it even when she's just waking up...' Hayden thought as he walked over to Ceres and sat next to her.

"What is it?" Hayden asked and Ceres lips thinned.

"I've been thinking about this...for a long time. Should I say something or should I let these feelings die...but the feelings will not die" Ceres started and Hayden furrowed his brow in confusion.

"What feelings?" He asked.

"This heavy feeling in my chest. I want to explain to you why...I get like this..." Ceres said slowly. Hayden's eyes widened upon hearing her words and he grabbed her shoulders with his hands gently but firm.

"Ceres, you don't have to force yourself to tell me anything you know that?" He asked and Ceres nodded.

"I know but I don't want to be scared anymore...if I tell you, I feel like I can let go of some of this fear" she confessed and Hayden took a breath before nodding.

"I'll listen for as long as you need" Hayden said and Ceres gave a weak smile.

She fumbled with her fingers, not really knowing how to approach the topic as this was the first time she'd ever be revealing this to someone. Ceres could only think of saying it straight forward since she was hardly the type of person to beat around the bush when it came to certain things.

"When I was younger up until I was fourteen, I spent my life with my mother. She was all that I had and vice versa. I can't say that she was the best mother...if anything, for the most part I can only remember the bad things that I had experienced with her. She had her good days and her bad days, but to me I could never tell the difference between the days"

"There was a point in my life where I believed that people were only capable of hate, greed, and jealousy because of her. The people she hung around, the men she brought home...they were all disgusting people and soon I treated others the same. I distanced myself because I would rather not end up having to deal with people like that and it would save me from getting hurt"

"My mother would tell me that she loved me only after yelling at me or blaming me for something that I had supposedly done and I said nothing because I was afraid. I wanted her to love me, I wanted someone to love me. It could've been anyone...anyone at all...I just wanted one person in the world to tell me they loved me. That they needed me...and I tried to do what I could for her to love me"

Hayden tried his best to contain his feelings of sadness and anger as he listened to Ceres. Hayden knew that he should wait a little longer before expressing his feelings, but he was beginning to get a little impatient.

"Even this hair that I was so determined to never cut because she said she loved it...it was just her way of clinging on to me even in the after life" Ceres paused as she looked at the hair the reached past her shoulders.