❛ PAINKILLER ❜ - 𝗓𝖽𝗁 ✓

epilogue

SERENITY'S JOURNAL
( don't touch unless you're me or zach )

april 27th 2023,

originally i promised myself i'd never come
back to this journal to add anything new to it,
mainly because of the fact that despite the many
ideas i could've added so that someone would
know, i seem to have already found someone who
knows what they are before i even jot it down somewhere. i haven't touched this journal since just before new years of 2021, but it's 4am, the morning after my 21st birthday and while zach is passed out drunk laying next to our daughter, i thought i'd come and add a final note.

it would've been a lot easier if i had a list of questions i wanted to ask my future self but i didn't think of that at the time of making this book, simply because i didn't plan to be alive long enough to achieve anything i wrote down in here.

but serenity, five and a half years later when you started the first page of this journal, you did it.

even if sometimes things went out of control and you thought you had lost everything you gained, or you thought some guy had ruined your relationship and friendships, or even just believing you'd never get out of the relationship you were once in, you still did it and despite everything, you're still here and you're happy.

anyway back to the main purpose of this note, since it's the last page i'm ever putting into my journal before it goes away for my kids to read sometime in the future, i'm here to make a checkpoint of where we are all at, because every single one of my friends deserves to be featured.

first off, you got the family home in canada you wanted and now you're happily living your husband and your daughter, even she is a chaotic toddlers and you have no idea how to parent, you're still both doing a great job and you can now both successfully cook kind of decent meals, which i know myta is proud of.

your career sorta got even more hectic, your youtube is less active but when you do post it's mostly just vlogs with your family, your skincare line expanded to make up and we're now aiming for a clothing line, but you're still doing extremely well.

ruby is extremely healthy and very happy, she has literally become the light in your life since your mom's death about nine months ago, but she's doing better up there than how she was here.

as for treasure, our favourite drunk aunt, her and eben stayed in california and at the moment they're both quite content figuring out how to adult, and neither of them have any plans of starting a family because they both decided they weren't ready. so for now, ruby is basically her kid too.

darcie eventually got her dream job as a therapist, and one of her most frequent and favourite patients is none other than mr seavey, who usually visits for a session after he's had a bad week. she also finally found the love of her life, and ellis is a very good match for her who is always there to help her achieve her potential.

fleur and amelia moved in together somewhere near arizona, close to amelia's family so that she could regularly check on her dad without needing to worry fleur. they're now considering adopting a baby or two and they're still very much in love.

brea and jonah, they moved to minnesota about three months ago after they got engaged and once again, zach and i are still planning our outfits last minute because neither of us have any clue what to wear. but they are very much content and they also just got a puppy, which constantly appears in the group chat during serious conversations.

jack and gabbie went separate ways but jack did find someone who makes him much more happier and is super respectful of still needing to see his daughter. they still live in california and they don't plan on going anyway anytime soon. he's also still very much your best friend and you see him more often than you'd think.

corbyn parted ways with christina but theyre on great terms, he's currently single and does flirt with every girl he comes across but he's doing fine and he's living life.

and daniel, he's been through a lot the past two years but he's doing great. toby convinced him to come out of his shell a little bit and they're living life in la together, and i'm extremely happy he found someone who treats him as he deserves.

you may not see your friends as often as you'd like, if half of them aren't busy with their families then they are touring but you do still see them when you visit a few shows, and i know that despite it all, we're still very close and we still spend a couple days together around christmas time.

you're also extremely happy that you have someone supportive by your side through everything, things got rough when mom died and you did fall back into your depression but zach was there and he was absolutely perfect with his support. and although right now he's too drunk to even be awake, even though it was your 21st and not his, i know he's doing the best he can and his best is more than will ever be enough.

so to ruby and any other kids i may have in the future, when you finally read this note and see everything that your aunts and uncles did, i'm extremely proud of whatever you choose to do in life and i'm always going to support you.

i don't want you to settle for less than you know you deserve or let someone have control over how you decide to live your life, i already constantly remind you of your worth every time you cry but when i'm not around anymore, don't forget anything i said.

whatever you dream to do or who you want to be or who you want to be with, mom and dad are so incredibly proud of you and all we want is for you to be happy.

when we say we will support you no matter what we mean it, and that goes for every single one of our friends too. especially daniel, the amount of pep talks he already gives you even though you don't understand a word of it, he's here to support you.

i don't think i have anything else to add so i guess this is the closing of the last note. but good job ren, i know treasure is proud of you and i know your mom is even prouder. i love you a lot.

- serenity herron