His last laugh (the joker fanfiction)

Signs

~Chapter 14~

  Day after day, it gets more harder for me to think straight. The more time I spend around him, the more he draws me in. At times I just want to hold him for all the pain he's been through, other times I just feel so suffocated from the toxic-ness of it all. Most times I just pray for mercy.

 Just once I want to finally feel like I'm free. I don't want to be hurt. But maybe shutting everyone out was the only thing hurting me. Maybe we were meant to get hurt and feel pain, so we know better than to make the same mistakes again. But I never seem to learn from mine.

 After our little chat he went to his office and got something to eat. I sat on a high chair and got lost in my thoughts. A few minutes later, Joker went out of his office, he was buttoning his shirt at the wrists. I watched him tighten them as he turned his head to look at me. He gave me a weird smile, with only half of his lips curling up. 

He finished and walked over standing in front of me. I smiled at him and he was looking at the ground.

"I'm uh sorry again, I just I'm sorry." He whispered the last part. I never got used to him apologizing but it was comforting, he was still looking at the ground and he fiddled with his fingers.

"It's..fine don't apologize." I took both of his hands in mine, putting a stop to his flustering. He looked up at me through his hair and I smiled at him.

He sighed and rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, "I just don't know how to act around you." He spoke.

"Just be you." I whispered.

'I'm uh gonna go but don't worry I won't mess up this time." He opened his eyes and gave me a crooked smile and I nodded.

He moved his forehead away and I felt his lips on my temple. He gave me a gentle kiss and left. As he closed the door I sighed and walked to my room. I walked over and sat at Harley's dresser. I opened a little box she kept in one of the drawers and found pictures. There were some of his and Pamela and some of her and Joker. He looked quiet normal, some were of him alone. My hands got sticky from all the lipgloss marks that were on the pictures.

Harley was obsessed. It got quiet creepy, some of the pictures were of him eating and just doing normal things around the house. There was one of him sleeping with his make up all over the pillows, his hair was on his face and his head was rested on his bare shoulder. He actually looked quiet peaceful like he always did the times I've seen him asleep.

I opened the radio on her dresser tuning it in to a channel I've found. The voice got clearer as I turned the dial and I laid my head on the dresser. The radio host was talking about some patient breaking out of Arkham. 

I listened closely and he mentioned Pamela's name. Ivy was out! I quiet missed talking to her sometimes. She was quiet fun to talk too. She this sass and sarcasm that got me every time.

I changed the channel and listened to some songs before getting bored with it and shutting it off. A few hours later Joker came back and went into my room. I looked up at him and he had something behind his back. He gave me a smile and sat up dangling my feet from the bed.

"I got ya something." He sing songed.

"What! tell me I hate being curious!" I giggled.

"Well see for yourself." He said handing me a white bag.

I peaked inside and pulled out a box of chocolates, a fake rose, and a little card. I put them next to me and read the card. 'Just a little gesture. -J'. I read the card and gave him a hug. He was kinda shocked at first but then his arms found their way around me too.

I sat back down at the bed and motioned for him to sit too. He sat in front of me and I opened the box of chocolates. There were so many different kinds and there was no telling which were bad. I giggled and looked at him.

"How do you know which ones are good?" 

"I guess you'll just have to eat them to find out." He smiled.

"What? I'll die before reaching half of the box." I laughed.

"Well that was my plan all along." He raised and eyebrow at me and I laughed.

I took one and looked at him and he seemed amused. There was two of each so I looked at the other one and then at him.

"Okay fine!" He grumbled and grabbed the other one. I giggled at him and I downed mine and he waited for a second and ate his. 

"Ekkhh." He crunched his face.

"I know it was too sweet, I hate when it has strawberry jam." I said my expression mimicking his.

We tried four other chocolates and I couldn't eat no more.

"No please, Jack I'm full! You're gonna make me diabetic!" I whined pushing his hand which was forcing a chocolate to my face.

"Come on just one more, it's not fair I tried it." He spoke still not giving up.

"Okay okay fine!" I gave up looking at him.

I held the hand he was forcing to my face and eat the chocolate. His face softened as I let go of his hand. 

"It was actually one of the best ones I've tried." I admit and he gave me a weak smile.

He stood up and patted his shirt, "Well that was fun, I'll leave you to have a sugar blackout." He joked and I smiled at him before he left the room.

Later that night I went out of my room to get some water and saw Joker on the couch. He was bending over with one of his hands in his hair and a glass of rum in front of him. His paint was messed up and his eyes were red.

"Are you okay?" I hesitated walking closer to him, he straightened his back and slumped again.

"Yeah." He rasped and I sat down next to him. He moved his face away but the paint looked damp.

"Were you crying?!" I asked him.

He shook his head and looked at me. His eyes were red and the green was brighter than usual.

"What's wrong? you can talk to me." I said putting my hand on his back.

He looked at me and straightened his back, "Nothing, why do you care so much?" He sighed and asked.

"I uh don't know.." I paused for a few seconds. "Maybe because I know what it feels like to have no one, and I found some good in you." I continued.

He looked at me with wide eyes. He stayed silent for a couple seconds then he looked back at me.

"You know angel, you have a way of getting to people." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'm not the only one." I mumbled and he turned to me.

He looked at me for a couple seconds before removing a strand of hair from my face and putting his hand on my cheek.

"I care for you, you know?" He said in a nasal tone and I looked up at him.

"I just don't feel like going through the pain all over again." I looked away and then sighed.

"But I can't stop thinking about you, you got to me and I don't know if this makes me a bad person but I want to stop running from my feelings for once." I admit and I felt his lips on my forehead.

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Okay guys here's another update, This took me so long I don't even know why

Anyway hopefully there'll be 2 more updates today.

I'm sick so have mercy on me :P

I hope u guys like this one

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much love xxx