Death It Is- Kylo Ren

Chapter 13

You open your eyes and stare blankly at the tall trees above you, realizing you had fallen on your back in your trance. Rey kneels beside you, watching cautiously as you gasp in recognition.

No. This isn't happening, this can't be real.

Your chest heaves wildly as you begin to hyperventilate, you reach up to feel your face already wet with tears.

The trees surrounding you both begin to tremble as you place your hands on the ground and try to breathe. Snow continues to softly fall around the two of you as you replay every interaction you've ever had with Kylo Ren in your head.

His reaction to seeing your lightsaber, his docility after finding out your name. The suggestions of allegiance, his willingness to kill Snoke and destroy the First Order to have you by his side. His refusal to take off his mask.

A pang of betrayal rings across your chest. It seems obvious that he didn't know you survived until you became connected through the Force. But there were several people who knew he wasn't dead this whole time, people you trusted.

"Are you okay?" Rey asks urgently as she places her cold hands on your dampened shoulders.

Nausea seeps through your skin as you stare ahead blankly.

"Not even remotely," You say in a daze, the tears still flowing.

Your abdomen begins to burn, and you don't even try to stop it as you finally begin to realize what has been happening this whole time. Kylo was right, you do hate Leia and Poe and Han more than you hate him.

"What happened?" She presses and looks at you intensely.

You take a deep breath, wiping your face off and standing up abruptly. "Go to the Falcon, stay there until Finn, Han, and Chewbacca get back. Leave without me," You tell her seriously, brushing off the snow from your back and turning back towards the base entrance.

"What?!" She yells behind you, running to catch up with you.

"Please, Rey, I know you don't really know me but I need you to trust me. I have to take care of something," You urge as you stop and look at her.

"Is it Kylo?" She asks sadly and you nod, hiccuping a little.

"I have to do this alone," You say simply.

She nods in understanding with a frown adorning her naturally beautiful face, and turns back towards the Falcon.

You pause to look back to her, "May the Force be with you, Rey."

She spins around and looks at you with a mellow smile.

You turn back towards the massive concrete structure in front of you, eyeing the thick black sliding doors.

Your vision becomes clouded with small black dots as you feel your entire body begin to heat up in rage.

The burn that you have been repressing into your stomach all your life is escaping, permeating across your entire body. Your chest sizzles and your shoulders tingle as the sensation of pure, concentrated indignation seeps down your limbs.

They only kept this from you so that you would find out at the perfect time, some time when it was convenient for you to confront Ren and bring him back.

You slam the entrance open, not caring about who heard or if you get caught. You're headed straight for Kylo, no one is getting in your way.

They didn't care at all, you grieved for years and they let you.

You turn down a populated hallway and ignite your lightsaber.

You were in pain for years, and they let you be.