CHASING PAVEMENTS ⇒ wolfstar

FIVE

Waking up to a soft humming of 'Jingle Bells', a song Lily had long driven into each of their heads, Remus pulls his duvets closer, hugging the soft fabric to his body. He's instantly reminded that it is Christmas.

He gently feels around for his stomach, pressing a hand to his abdomen. His tummy had started to fill out, softly. His edges are softer now, his stomach losing its slightly lean appearance, growing pudgier by the days that pass.

He remained in that position for awhile, eyes screwwd shut just feeling his abdomen, allowing his hands to wander in gentle motions along the skin, while he listened to Sirius softly hum.

It wasn't something Sirius did often, but when he did, Remus just silently hoped he would eventually lead up to singing.

Remus liked Sirius' voice. He liked the raspy undertones of it as he sometimes drunkenly sang along to a juggle band that Lily had introduced him to. Lily had so many bands to recommend, so many that Remus knew Sirius had made a list.

Even though nobody else was aware of said list.

Sirius switched to a festive song by a muggle band known as Slade. Remus listened, contently stroking his developing baby bump. He ponders if, in years to come, will this be how his Christmas mornings will begin.

His future Christmas mornings that would be filled with the joyous cheers and squeals of delight that the baby nestled inside his womb will give when they open their gifts.

Remus wonders briefly how James and Peter are doing. He knows that James' mother will be spoiling him and Lily, Lily especially. Euphemia Potter adores Lily. Just as she adores Sirius, Remus and Peter. Her Jamie's friends.

Deciding to take a long, hot shower, Remus rises from his bed, yawning.

"Morning Moony," Sirius says softly, his humming coming to a halt. Remus nods in reply.

"Happy Christmas, Padfoot," Remus says. "I'm going to shower," He whisks past Sirius and makes his way to the shower. He'd been thinking of his conversation with Sirius a lot in the days leading up to Christmas and in James' and Peters absence.

He misses Sirius so badly and he knows the other misses him too. He's been told how much Sirius misses him, told by Sirius himself.

Remus wonders how long he must punish Sirius for. How long must he take out his anger and insecurities on the other boy? But then he reminds himself of how the other boy is the cause of this rage.

Stepping into the shower, Remus let the hot water consume him and his tired body. Although only two months in existence, the baby is taking so much of his energy it's starting to take its toll. Remus runs a hand through his soaking hair, allowing the water pour down his face.

It's a welcoming warmth.

He finds himself thinking of the conversation once more. Of how Sirius had declared that their friendship was worth much more to him than any silly prank. Their friendship. That oh so fatal word that had shot at Remus so many that he had bled out entirely.

Because he doesn't know if Sirius even remembers their sex.

Their sex that had been born from firewhiskey and this incontrolable, burning pint up frustration. This tension that coexisted between the two teenagers. This fiery passion that burned like fierce winter fires, embers of a desire so strong and so etched with chaos.

Their sex that has created something.

A baby.

Their baby.