The Assassin Queen

Bk2 |•Chapter 15•|

Nights had always been mystifying for me, for at night my fears would slither past my defenses and torment me without mercy. But on other occasions, nights would comfort and share in my loneliness like a silent, beautiful companion.

Tonight was not the latter.

For how could I not succumb to my fears when there was so very much to fear. But if there was ever a cure for my dilemma it was to see my old friend, and I would do just that.

And that's how I found myself slithering through the palace halls like thief in the night, clad in my old assassin clothing, my cloak concealing me in the shadows till I had slipped out the castle. And I breathed out a sigh of relief, as I followed the directions I'd been given by a soiler a few days prior with exact precision. To be honest, there was no need for the sneaking around for I'd been granted free passage throughout the entire kingdom but I didn't necessarily want compony.

Before I knew it, I found myself staring at the royal stables and instantly grinned as I jogged inside. And I quickly checked every stall eagerly, feeling disappointed every time it wasn't Amir. Till finally I heard familiar nickering from the stalls towards the end, and sprinted to the source. I discovered both Amir and Gypsy sharing a stall, and I couldn't help but frown upon seeing his mare.

I'd been so good about distracting myself, but how could I not think of Felix when his mare was currently nudging her muzzle onto my shoulder. And so with a heavy sigh, I slid the bolt of the stall door open slipped inside, closing it behind me, and immediately Amir nudged me against him with his head, giving me his version of a hug. My arms immediately wrapped around his neck as I buried my face in his soft mane, while Amir continued his excited little nudges and nibbling. But he remained rather quiet, just like id trained him to be at night.

I didn't utter a word, I never was good at expressing myself, but I found comfort with Amir. For I knew he'd vanquish all my fear and foes if he could. Before long I found myself curled up on the hay while Amir and Gypsy lay beside me, protecting me like my own personal guards...

•••••••••••••••••••
Two things became very clear the moment I roused that morning; Amir could be surprisingly loud when defending me, and I'd fallen asleep in the stables.
And with that realization I sprang up to find Amir neighing while rearing, his forelegs kicking out aggressively towards whoever had dared to near the stall.

But I could see past Amir so I was clueless as to who it might be "Amir, Amir be still" I gently cooed as I neared my gallant little Arab, who halted immediately as I approached and lovingly stroked his shiny black coat. And only then did I look to see who had upset Amir so much, and I froze as I stared into sea-green eyes.

Felix seemed just as speechless, as he watched me wide-eyed and we both stood frozen in our spots as if caught in some dream. Until Felix wordlessly motioned his hand to my hair "You have some hay" he mumbled softly as he opened the stall and Gypsy instantly trotted happily towards him while I frantically pulled hay from my hair.

"Did I get it?" I asked as I stared at my boots, not even meeting his gaze. I instantly looked up though when I felt him near me, and hope blossomed in my chest rapidly but Felix simply picked out a stray piece of hay from my hair silently, his fingers lingering slightly on an errant lock of hair as I couldn't help myself from gazing at him almost longingly through it all. Felix was actually acknowledging me!? This was new.

But before I knew it he was walking away, gypsy in tow " Felix wait!" I called out anxiously and he stilled but didn't look back at me " I'm so happy you've awakened..." I said awkwardly, anything to linger at this moment, and Felix merely stood frozen in the spot, and I noticed the way his whole body radiated heat in waves now, how his golden hair was in bad need of a haircut and my fingers twitched.

I had always cut his hair...

But Felix didn't say anything, simply kept striding forward, and I could do nothing but watch as my heart sank. What had happened to us?

|Felix |

I was so absurd.

Why couldn't I just acknowledge the fact she'd never been mine, why couldn't I just abide with the idea of her joining her life with another? Why was I so delusional! No, all I did was stare at her.

Stared as she clutched Amir's mane in her sleep, stare at how her dark lashes fluttered softly as she mumbled softly and all the while I had been ignoring my own instinct to protect her while she had looked so vulnerable.

But no, She didn't need me, she didn't want me and I had to learn to accept that.

And I had been so weak, I couldn't resist the temptation of lingering, of touching her soft dark waves—the hay had been an excuse, I'd secretly hoped she'd ask for my assistance. I was a fool to stubbornly cling to any hope at all, not after a binding betrothal...

I had to let her go, for good this time.