Daylight

4. Just a Thousand Cuts

I woke up to warmth and something running up and down my bare arm as I used a few fingers to rub my tired eyes. I could see ribbons of sunlight coming through the open window that was facing the bed. Sliding up to lean on my elbows, the single-digit stroking my arm moved with me as I looked down to see the large finger sliding up and down as I followed the line of the arm all the way up to see Ben, sitting in front of his bed, watching me with curious yet amused hazel eyes. I could feel the sunlight hitting my face as a warmth I have loved too much made my skin glow in his dimly dark hut, the small action causing him to smile at me.

"You're here."

"Yes, it's my hut. You're up." His smile faded as I gazed at him with a questionable look.

"Yes?" I spoke more as a question than just a straight answer. Was it a bad thing that I was up? Usually, I can't stay asleep when the sun is awake.

"Here, I thought you would sleep in, Amara. Sessions and sparrings are still canceled. No one's awake yet."

"Well, when the sky's awake, I'm awake. Besides, I can't go a day without feeling the sun on my face." I smiled, hoping to lighten his mood, which I think worked as he peered up from where he wasn't looking before.

"My uncle once spoke about how you're from Pasaana. You must miss it there." He said he stood a little from his kneeling position before taking a seat next to where my hip was.

"I miss a few things about it. The sun, the warmth, wearing thin fabrics that swayed with the wind, the thought of nothing harming me completely. I don't miss the sandstorms or burning my feet on the sand itself, though." I amused him with a few things I liked and didn't like as he kept his eyes on mine as he used a hand to lean towards me.

"Tell me about your home." He inquired as I nodded before leaning to sit up completely now as I crossed my legs. His thin sheet dropped from my chest as my breasts were on display under my tank top, but I didn't care enough to cover myself.

"My village wasn't much of a home for a long time, maybe several years. But during the time I was born there, the neighbors were kind, and they helped my mother raise me since she never had any siblings and didn't know much about raising a child. Neither did my father. There weren't many kids in my village, so I ended up just pranking most of the adults half of the time, or until my parents caught me. By the time I was a little older, we had to leave Pasaana, and we moved to a place called Sylas. My father was born there and became a Jedi through his training there too. That's where I picked up on the Jedi piece of my life...and a few other things." I thought about my first relationship and how terrible it turned out to be four years ago as I dropped my sight from his as my line of vision landed on his chest. Why was he shirtless?

"You said you picked up the music hobby from your Mom?" I nodded my head at his question.

" She was a Jedi. During her downtime in both Pasaana and Sylas, she wrote songs mostly for my dad and me, and I just picked up on it naturally, like the Jedi training I picked up from my Dad in Sylas. Although, it was hard to kind of balance the two, so I ended up just focusing on the small amount of training that was available in Sylas, which wasn't much before I was sent here."

"You write music here, and you train as a Jedi here. It seems like it's balanced enough."

"I use songwriting as a distraction from the drama and trouble I tend to find myself in. And since I don't have any friends here, I have more time to unwind and write. I see music as a way to fill in the gap of loneliness. Now that my parents are gone, it keeps me connected to them since I tend to write things based on what I feel." I pulled a leg up to my chest to cover it as Ben's eyes dropped down at the small gesture, now feeling insecure. Looking up from my leg, I noticed a glimmer of something in his eyes as he moved closer. The heat coming off from his chest could be felt on my bare leg.