Daylight

21. I'm Only Human

Third POV

Distraught that Amara was so eager to go with him to Vasir made his stomach flip thousand times over. During her short time hereafter taking her from Jakku, he came to his own conclusion that he did it out of protection. Yes, the Order was after her but not for petty and trivial reasons like the rest of the galaxy and its hunters. Yes, she was a dangerous threat to even him, but he did not want her dead. He couldn't bear the pain to see her dead, even if it was he who had to kill her. Yes, he knew of the Resistance tracking her too, but that reason was something he could care less of. They were bonded long before he became Kylo Ren, and the thought of seeing the Resistance take her angers him to no end. He would never let that happen, not in a million years. She needed to stay by his side. She deserved it after what she's done and been through. He was the only person who could care for her that way. Since the temple's downfall, he was the only one who could help her. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he regretted only one decision: not taking her with him when he destroyed the temple.

Kylo could hear her walking around the cleaned-up bedroom he had given her as her mind wandered around on how much Vasir had changed since her last visit, apparently two years ago. Kylo recalled their conversation about her having various hideaways all around the galaxy as it made him curious how she had the time to do so. He found it interesting her mind was open. Since their reconnection to their bond, he hadn't been able to lurk inside her head like he used to. She had strong barriers protecting everything, and it was too much for even Kylo to breakthrough. With his mask sitting on the bed next to him, he smiled wide, a genuine one. The more and more she stayed near him, the more he could truly see her power. Raw yet powerful, controlled yet chaotic at times. She was everything he dreamed she would become. The burning desire to touch her made his palms sweat as he pulled his gloves on to hide the extra layer of water on his hands.

His heart was racing. His breathing quickened at the thought of touching her skin. The smooth surface gliding under his rough hands, the hands that have done too many things, like her, to survive in this galaxy. He took a deep breath as he could almost feel the heat radiating off her body as he cherished the last memory he had of touching her. To think it had been years without her. Not a day went by that he didn't miss her, not that anyone would've found out about her until now. He was sure not even his parents knew of Amara back then. 

The temple was so cut off from the rest of the galaxy; he didn't care if anyone else found out. He wanted her all to himself back then and even now. Eyeing the door to his room, he could still feel her force inside her own room as she stayed in one area. By now, her mind was blocked off again as it intrigued Kylo once more. He hated when she did that. He always hated when she did that since their time together years ago. He missed being able to listen to her thoughts. It's what kept him from going insane.

Glancing down at his helmet, and a part of him wished to tell her the truth. To show her his real face. To see her take everything in about the face she kissed, she stared at and admired. The face that loved her more than his own parents had done. He wanted to see her face light up at the fact that he was alive, not dead like the false rumors she had heard, the rumors that had broken her heart, shattered it into a thousand pieces. Clenching his fists, he could feel the eruption of the Light Side of the Force pull him again. The last few minutes, he was too absorbed into her presence; he hadn't felt it until now as he gripped his helmet and brought it down onto his head, locking it into place with anger rising in his chest. How could he have not felt the pull to the light until now? Looking up from the floor he had stared at for god knows how long, he glanced over to his bedroom door and stood up.

Walking over the short distance from the bed to the door panel, he stopped, raised a hand over the scanner, but did not touch anything. He felt something within the force that lingered around Amara. He could feel the pull to the light, but it wasn't anywhere as strong as what he just felt. But it was enough to make him aware of it. Was it her doing? No, it didn't seem that way. He could feel her emotions, sense her force. Everything was neutral and well balanced. So, what was it? Was she thinking of something that caused the light to surround her like a halo? Bringing his raised hand down to his side, he dropped his head against the panel before summoning his lightsaber to his hand before clipping it to his belt.

She shouldn't be going. He thought to himself as he calmed his erratic breathing. She doesn't need to be anywhere but here, safe, in these quarters. He could feel his old self rising to the surface at the thought of always wanting to protect her came to mind. So protective, he thought again. He never thought he'd been putting himself in this situation. She's always gravitating towards danger. He hated her because of it. The hatred simmered down for a split second as he felt Amara leave her side of his quarters as she stood just beyond where his door was. She was waiting for him. Smirking at her actions, he didn't think she'd still be this patient. The faint memory of her sitting against his hut door when he got punched resurfaced in his head, making his smirk turn upward into a smile. Just within her weaker moments since her capture, he had seen the old version of herself. He could see her human side. To think she calls herself a monster?

Placing a hand back onto the scanner, he placed his hand down on the pressure plate as the door was pulled open with a quick swishing sound as he stepped out to see Amara looking just as beautiful as always. She truly was a sight to see as an angel in a world full of demons. She was zoned out, and it made it look like she was looking past him as he refused to turn his body, knowing there was nothing in his room he would hide. The urge to reach over to touch her face, caress her skin, and to ask her what was wrong was unbearable. He wanted her to let him in, tell him everything he had missed. He wanted her to open her and tell him what she was thinking at this very moment for her to zone out. He could feel her emotions swimming around in her mind, an uneasiness getting stronger by the second. A wave of doubt clouded her mind as he silently questioned what was wrong. Had she not been calm and collected the second she walked out here? Kylo fought the ache to hold her.

"There is no reason for you to go." He spoke before he could process the comment in his mind as he almost regretted saying it in the first place. Her eyes, those brilliant violet eyes he loved so much, gazed up at him as her sight moved from the space behind him and up to his helmet. He almost lost his breath as she peered into his visor.

"And just by those words, I have every reason to go. There's no way you can convince me not to go, so don't bother trying. Shall we?" She spoke back to him as he practically melted by the sound of her voice. She wasn't trying to be mean or sarcastic. He could hear the small amount of confidence in her tone, but something else concerned him. Her violet eyes held it. She's exhausted.

Nodding at her request to leave, Kylo was the first one to leave the room as he always should as they walked the halls in silence as they made their way to the hangar. His Command Shuttle sat, cleaned, and ready for takeoff. Ignoring Hux's lingering smirk, Kylo was stopped by a few other generals that disagreed that the Gray Jedi had no business going on this mission with him as he silenced them. Explaining that Amara had a vast knowledge of this planet, he assured his own company that it was better to bring her along with him, though he didn't want to, period. A disturbing thought brought Ren's attention to his general as Hux thought about Amara made his fists clenched tightly. The sound of leather crunching together made the three generals that approached him to step back as Amara glanced his way, seeing the small yet loud gesture.

"General Hux, we're wasting time with all the useless chatter and disagreements. Any chance you could shut up or calm down? I mean, seriously, you're making my headache worse just breathing near me." Amara spoke with such disdain as the lightbulb turned on in Kylo's mind. Her comment answered the question that lingered in his mind about something being wrong. Shooing away the three generals next to him, Kylo gestured for Amara to step into the Shuttle, which she conveniently did as Ren turned around to see Hux standing before him.

"Careful Ren, I wouldn't put your personal interests in danger since Supreme Leader has discovered her arrival here," Hux spoke with amusement in his voice as he walked away from Ren as he refused to move. His words cut him a thousand times over as Hux's comment was news to him. Does Supreme Leader Snoke know about her?

A piece of him wanted to keep her as secret as possible, knowing what could happen if Snoke did find out about her. But what does Snoke know? That he had a prisoner living in his quarters? Or did he know of their bond? Kylo strolled up the steep platform and into his personal ship as the door hatch closed itself with a push of a button. Believing he had bigger matters on his hands right now, he had noticed Amara had taken up three seats full of her bag as she laid silently on two seats to the left of him. He could feel her pain; the very headache she spoke of was now causing the entire right side of her head to pound like a drum. He wanted to help her though he had nothing on this ship to do it. She would have to endure it for now.

Walking past her to sit at his cockpit, he flipped various switches, pressed multiple buttons, and with ease, they flew away from the main ship he called home as it took a few minutes to be as far away as possible. Knowing it would take a very long time to get to the planet of Vasir, jumping to lightspeed was the only option to get there. Reaching around the press buttons and pull levers, the ship was ready to go, but he knew this would be a killer on Amara's head.

"We're about to jump to lightspeed. Do what you have to need to hold on or buckle yourself down, Amara." He ordered but not in a rude tone.

He tried to be a nice as he could while maintaining a low tone based on hearing her wince and sigh out. Was it because she hadn't slept in so long? It had to have been, otherwise, what could be causing her to be in that much pain. Waiting for some response, Ren never got one as he spun his seat around to see Amara's head leaning back against the wall, but she had listened to him this time as she was tightly buckled in. So, when she's in severe pain, she'll listen? He thought to himself as he smirked at the gesture. Interesting but not worth the effort to have her listen to him all the time. Thinking he may need to try different methods to gain her trust, not to mention for her to respect him as well, Kylo thought of acting somewhat of a human to her as they jumped into lightspeed and towards the direction of Vasir.



The planet was covered with crystal blue waters, lush green tropical islands that no one could see very far because of its density. The very beauty caught Kylo's breath away but thanked his mask for hiding it as Amara's face lit up as they walked a gravel path that led to a special hideaway that she owned. After a few minutes, they hadn't spoken much as a calm and peaceful silence washed over them like the ocean breeze as it swept through the dense trees. The force here was different. Like it was undiscovered by man as Kylo tried to take it in and analyze it. He couldn't feel the Dark Side, nor could he feel the Light. Asking about the planet's domain, Amara spoke about it being an uncharted yet neutral territory that rarely gets visitors. Asking why that would be, Amara shrugged her shoulders.

"It's not a place that would be threatening or dangerous to anyone who saw it differently. The entire planet is like one giant safe house for those who seek refuge or wish to escape the wars between Light and Dark. Or my favorite: those who wish to live in peace and die here." Her voice sounded off as Kylo caught the tone. He felt heartache and pain when she explained her answer.

"Is this where you've hidden for several years then?"

"No, the longest I've stayed here is about two days, maybe three. I've created other places amongst the galaxy, but this is the most peaceful one. If it were ever possible, I would want to live out my old age here and die."

"And why would you want something like that?" Kylo was now curious as to why she spoke differently. She sounded like a different person again. But in all, he wanted to know her opinion of this place, why it interested her so much. Stopping in her tracks just a few feet in front of him and turned at an angle as the sight of her in the light beam of the sun flashed across her face, making her glow like an angel.

"This is where my parents were married, and the house we'll be staying in is theirs. Why wouldn't I want to die here? They called this island home and found peace together before having me. They lived here in pure happiness. So, why wouldn't I deserve something like that? I'm only human. People like us deserve better than what you get." She sounded offended by his question as it did anger her in a very insulting way. She may call herself a monster, but she didn't start that way. She wasn't born that way; no one was.

Her emotions caught him off guard. He didn't think she would be so insulted by his question as she turned away from him and the sunbeam and jumped down from the rock she stood from. He didn't mean for it to sound judgmental and harsh, but she took it that way as he continued with her, asking her about the house itself.

"With each hideaway I have, very few of them get maintained. Luckily for us, this one does."

"What do you mean by maintaining? Such as a keeper?" Kylo widened his steps to catch up with her as she froze on a medium-sized boulder as Kylo rushed to jump down from it before raising a hand for her to take it. The jump down wasn't bad for him based on his weight and height, but it's a hazard for her. Gazing down at hand in front of her, she swatted him away and jumped further away from him but still landed in front of where he was. Kylo was annoyed she did that, but they walked on.

"I can't really keep track of who maintains which house, so I don't really remember who's here. I haven't seen this place in over two years." She commented, trying to remember who was here as they came up to the wooden house itself.

Two people came to mind, but only one could've possibly been here as the other male was back in Sylas, hopefully still alive. Staring at the house, she wished she'd found several years ago, a pain shot through her heart. This may have been the last place her parents were before their deaths long ago. For a brief second, Ren thought she would cry. She had the expression of pain on her face, her eyes looked glossy, and her emotions clouded her mind. The only thing Kylo could see were the visions of her parents' faces. He wanted to hold her in his arms tightly and never let go. There was so much he wanted to do for her but couldn't. Now wasn't the right time. The moment her silence ended, the door opened to reveal a male human, dressed in clothes that seemed similar to someone a part of the Resistance as a rumble of anger flowed through Kylo Ren.

But in a second, it was gone as Amara dropped her bag to the ground as she and the man ran to the other and embraced each other. Suddenly a flood of memories he had never seen before rushed through her mind as he felt a strong pull to the light just by watching her. This man resided on the Light Side of the Force. Kylo could feel it radiating off of him like a sound wave as Amara's smiling face, a true and genuine smile, caught Ren's full attention. When was the last time he'd seen her smile like that? During their last day together at the temple, maybe? She was so happy at this very moment, Kylo didn't think he was seeing the same person now. She didn't look like the Amara he knew of now. She looked and acted like the girl he fell in love with several years ago. She acted...human.

"And who are you, keeper?" Kylo couldn't help but sneer at the man holding the woman he loved as rage flowed through him. The man dropped Amara from his tight embrace as she rolled her eyes at Kylo, which infuriated him more. Was there something he was missing?

"Kylo Ren, this is Stefan. Stefan-" She spoke, trying to introduce them, but she was cut short when the man named Stefan went to lunge at Kylo Ren before Amara pulled him back with a good amount of force and stepped in between him and Ren.

Well, Kylo Ren was definitely not welcomed here. So much for a remote and peaceful paradise.