Daylight

27. Momentary Moment of Weakness (NSFW)

Smut Chapter!

After returning me to his quarters, I was surprised when two large and heavy blankets sat folded up on the edge of my bed as he gently placed me down, explaining he had seen me shiver from the cold from various nights I did sleep as he ordered for these to be given to me. Nodding my head in the way of thanking him, he left me alone for a time as I changed carefully out of the clothes given to me by the doctors and changed into a nightdress that was down to my thighs and had thin straps. Making the bed more comfortable to sleep in, the blankets given to me were indeed hefty, and I knew from the small gesture that it seemed out of character for Kylo Ren to do this. But oddly enough, it was something Ben would do. I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to our time together. But most importantly, I let my mind wander every time we slept together. How safe I felt. How warm it was. How strong his arms were every time he wrapped them around me securely. I missed everything as my momentary moment of weakness became transparent.

Feeling him pull me through the force, I pushed away from the need to be near him, knowing he wouldn't be the same person from before. I could feel his disappointment and felt his curiosity, knowing now he could hear every thought of mine. I was in pain long enough for Ren to see into my thoughts. After taking a few more minutes to make the bed so I could sleep well, my mind raced with words and thought of what he as said and done for me during my time here. Understandably, I knew he was right about a few things. I did need him to survive on this ship. I did need to respect him long enough to stay in his quarters with him and eat the food I was given, knowing it must've been better than what others were given to eat here. Noticing a considerable change in my train of thought, I felt Ren's force within my head as he listened to my thoughts about what I needed to do to start trusting him, though I wouldn't do it 100%. Once again, I felt him pulling against me. I felt him pull me towards him, and for a brief minute, I kept my head facing the door. He should've known what I wanted, and hopefully, by now, he would've seen it. I need Ben, not Kylo. Within a sudden change of thought, I looked towards the bathroom and thought of needing a shower to calm my thoughts and heart down, but also, to see if he would join me.

Ripping my nightdress off and throwing it to the floor, I imagined water running over my naked body as I turned the shower on and stepped in. My skin burned with each drop of the hot liquid as I felt through the force for Ben. He neared my room and entered through the central doorway as I pulled my hands through my hair to get my head wet. Closing my eyes and faking to avoid seeing him, I turned my body away from the bathroom opening. Adjusting to the hot water temperature that flowed out of the showerhead above me, I felt the cool air from the outside hit my back as the presence of someone looming over me alerted my senses.

 Continuing to spread the hot water all over my body, I could feel his cock against my butt as two large hands fell on the upper parts of my shoulders where my arms started as I slightly turned my body at his warm touch. Pulling my hair to the side, I turned slowly to look up and see his face tilting down at me as his brown eyes met my violet ones. I forgot how perfect his face looked after all this time. Within thinking of anything to cause my reaction of how close he was, I took a step back since I hadn't been used to people being that close to me, but it made him react.

"Don't" He said before pulling me back with his hands gripping my arms to his chest.

Flipping the section of hair I brought to my front side, he followed the movements as I took a deep breath and let it out. Moving his hands up to my jawline, he tilted my head up to view his face as my eyes slowly went from his lips to his nose and up to his eyes. They held some emotion as I searched for what it was. Moving one hand up to place against his left cheek, the small action caused him to lean against the palm as I rubbed soothing circles with my thumb against his wet skin. His hair was soaked with water as it was glued to his face but framed it perfectly. I wanted to kiss him, oh so badly. I wanted him to pleasure me with everything he had. I wanted him to give me everything like he once did in the temple. But, a part of me knew he couldn't. Dropping my sight from his as reality set in, I pulled my hand away from his face and kept my view down.

"Let me fix this." I heard him whisper as the feeling of him being inside my mind just now proved that he wanted me too and listened to my doubts.

The moment I looked up to stare into his eyes, he grabbed my face with one hand as he pushed me up against the tiled wall behind me and attached his full lips to mine. For the first time in forever, I felt whole again as his lips slipped against mine. Opening my mouth, I let him in as our tongues wrestled for passion and dominance. Gliding my hands up and down his large and broad chest, he pushed against my body more as my hands fell down his chest and landed very close to his hips. Wanting to go so far with him right now, I felt his lower half grind against me as I sucked in a breath and plunged a hand to his cock, the thick member barely fitting in my hands. Grunting at the feeling of someone holding him again, he pushed against me more as he practically stroked himself into my hand. My grip wasn't tight enough to stop him as he rocked back and forth, causing himself to moan against my lips. I loved the feeling I had on him as he deepened our kiss even more.

"You have no idea...how much I've missed you." His words hit me like a ton of bricks as he pulled away long enough to get the sentence out as he caressed my cheeks with both hands. Dropping my hand from his cock, I brought it up to his face to rest it against his jawline and pulled his head down to mine. His forehead lightly tapped mine as I breathed in his citrus scent. So many emotions were running through me like ocean waves, and I knew he felt them now. I missed you more-

"I don't know what to call you now." I wanted to say Ben but didn't know what would be punishable by torture or worse.  Oh no-

"I will allow you to call me Ben, but only when we're like this." He spoke in a husky tone as he played with my wet hair.

"Only during sex?" I questioned as I thought of all the horrible ways one accident could go wrong-

"Amara, stop thinking of it that way. I meant only you could call me that in my quarters. Just you." With another glance up to his face, he grabbed ahold of my head and clashed his lips to mine, but it was rougher this time. Like he needed more of me in his hands, needing to feel me more. And I let him.

Letting him take control since I was way too lost in the lust, I moved my lips away from his as the hot water made it steam up like crazy, making it hard to breathe as I slumped against the wall. Feeling Ben's lips against my neck, he sucked and licked various areas, making me crumble under his touch. Feeling one hand glide down my body along with the water that dripped from above us, his large hands covered my left breast as he squeezed tightly. I could feel his lower half grinding against me again, but this time, his cock was sliding in between my legs as it felt so good, almost too good to want more. And boy, did I want more. A chuckle came from his throat as it was music to my ears as he left my neck and dropped his head low enough to attach his mouth to my breast, sucking and biting the nipple roughly. Pushing my head against the tiled wall, I didn't have anything to grasp as he played with my breasts as one hand slipped even lower to the inner part of my legs as they were spread wide.

"Ben...not here." I moaned out as he dropped my breast from his mouth with a pop as he chuckled even more.

"Hmm...yes here." The moment he gripped my pussy with his hands, I felt his other hand grip my throat as I was almost lifted from the ground as he worked his other hand against my sensitive pussy, rubbing his large fingers through the folds and over my clit.

I moaned out loud as the heated sensation from the hot water and his hand working against me made my senses overload as I became a literal hot mess. How could he always make it feel so good? Biting my lip as he worked faster by rubbing me harder, I moved my hips with his hands, causing the need for friction as his lustful eyes caught mine. Dropping my mouth in an O shape, I almost lost my train of thought as he plunged two fingers roughly into my core and started finger-fucking me.

"Yes, Ben! Just like that!" I moaned as I felt him inch closer against me. His hand that gripped my throat rested against my upper chest area as his arm sat in the valley of my breasts. Cursing under my breath, his fingers reached deeper inside me as I gripped his wrist and had a little bit of trouble standing under him. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back with the room he gave me to move as I instantly felt his forehead against mine again as he quickened his pace. Faster and deeper his fingers went, and I lost control of my moans before I felt my orgasm start to rise.

"Ben...I'm going to...oh fuck-"

"Cum for me, Amara." He demanded in a low voice as my body shook under his as I let go. Moving with his hands, my orgasm was quick to come as I spilled on his fingers and opened my eyes to see him staring me down.

"Mara" The moment my name left his lips, I wanted all of him.

"I need more, Ben," I said with lust-filled confidence as he grinned before using the force to turn the water off as the door was swung open. I felt like he was waiting for something as I shakily took a step towards the opening before he brought a hand out to my right arm to stop me. Looking up into his eyes, he dropped his sight from mine for a second before I saw him staring again.

"Do you trust me?" He spoke as the question made me think hard. For as long as I could remember, I always trusted Ben. But because of this new identity, I was forced to get used to. I didn't know for sure. I would, however, trust him more than Bex Toth. I nodded at his question, but he knew something more.

"Don't hurt me as he did." I softly spoke as he nodded this time before placing a wet kiss on my forehead before gesturing to leave the shower, which I did.

Stepping out gracefully and grabbing a towel from the rack, I looked back long enough to see one part of the mirror wasn't covered in steam as I saw the scar Bex left for me. It had been years since I last stared at it for longer than a minute as I caught Ben's gaze in the mirror, too, watching me. The very memory of screaming in pain made me quickly look away as I turned into Ben's arms, waiting for me. Holding me still, he whipped some hair out of his face and angled my chin up.

"You know I would never do that to you. I'm nothing like him, Amara." He almost spoke in a whispered tone as he placed another kiss on my forehead before taking my hand in his large one as he led us over to my bed.

Letting go of my hand the moment we stood in front of the bed, I observed him as he motioned for me to sit on the bed as something came to his mind, making me want to do it. Deciding to be a little teasing after so long, he caught my mischievous grin as I slid as far away from him on my bed as possible before he quickly gripped one of my ankles and roughly pulled me to the edge of the bed again as I seductively giggled under my breath. Biting my lip while tilting my head, I saw the darkness in his eyes as he knew what I was doing.