Daylight

58. Mother's Instinct

The hour before this grand dinner was the slowest hour imaginable. It felt as if time was ticking down the minutes, the seconds before every person, every group of horrid people sat around a table talking about nothing remotely useful or interesting. Well, I shouldn't say all of them are horrid because Monroe's not. Looking into the closest filled to the brim with colored clothing, I had hoped tonight would go smoothly. I had forgotten how large this closest had been as I searched the inside for something tasteful but not fancy. I was never one for fancy things: dates, flowers, dresses, jewelry, that junk. Was it because I grew up in a lower level of housing than kings and queens, princes and princesses that made me think this way? Maybe. Though, all of that changed the moment my family became friends with Stefan and Aidyn's family, the prominent royalty of Sylas. Letting my mind wander to a year ago, I forgot how much I missed all of them, not just the kingdom.

I never went back after what happened on Crait with Kylo and Luke. I didn't want anyone to be in danger since that day. Kylo had already made the threats, one I could bow to if he were willing to go that far. A part of me knew he could. A year ago, he would've thought twice about how to hurt me and when not to. Now, he's willing to do almost everything in his power to bring me down. Bring my world down and destroy every home. Bring down the people I love and kill them to where it's only him, nothing else. So many would see him now as possessive, including me. I never wanted to see him become like this. He almost seemed as wrong as Snoke, maybe worse since an invisible golden string tied us together. Our Dyad Bond. Two halves that made up a whole. Two that are one. Though now, I couldn't understand why it was like this when he was on the Dark Side, and I was right in the middle still. So many people questioned why I stayed in the middle. I didn't have the answer, though. I wished I did. Looking out into my bedroom, I looked to see the full-length mirror as I grabbed a red dress and slowly made my way over to the mirror.

The dress was a vibrant red, the color of a woman's lipstick, as I pulled a hand to feel the silken fabric beneath my fingers. The dress was smooth to the touch, like water flowing freely on my skin. The silk was cold, but it would cool my skin down with the hot nights of Canto Bight. With a heart-shaped neckline and thick straps that were bunched together by golden clasps, the dress would flow beautifully on me, the length stopping at mid-thigh. Red reminded me of too many things, mostly emotions. Red was the color of love yet hatred, passion yet vengeance, romance yet anger. Red was the versatile of emotions, positive and negative. Plus the color of blood, which I had seen too much of. Also, it was a color associated with the First Order. So, I threw the dress on the ivory bed as it was not the dress for me. Red didn't suit me.

Walking back into the closet, I choose my next pick, a vibrant blue dress, the same length but different style. Walking around out to the mirror, I glanced inside the reflective surface to admire the color for a moment. It was an ocean blue color, the same color as the waters in Sylas. In any light, there was a glow to it as I spun only once on my heel to see it follow my swift turn. The fabric itself wasn't made of silk but soft cotton. Feeling the dress around the torso, it had a minimum stretch to it. It could be something I would be able to breathe in nicely as I dropped my eyes to the length again. Blue was the color of the ocean, vast in size but beautiful the closer you looked. But with the positive came the negative. Blue was the color of peace yet disruption, trust however fears. With the neckline scooping low enough to show a little cleavage, I let out a huff of frustration and threw the dress on the bed, the fabric landing on top of the red one. Blue was no longer my color.

Stepping back into the closet again for the third time, I saw a violet-colored dress with lace sleeves as I pulled that from the highest racking system and walked back out to the main area of my bedroom. Admiring the lace fabric, it felt soft as opposed to an itchy one. Gliding my hand over the intricate flower pattern the covered the sleeves reminded me of my lightsaber, of my eyes that everyone seemed to fall in love with. My mother once spoke about how no one else in my family had violet eyes, just me. I saw it as something that made me different, not only as someone with a Jedi legacy. I got so many compliments, and with this dress, it might happen. But I knew it wouldn't as my smile fell from my face.