Daylight

69. Be With Me

I didn't know what to feel, how to act as I sat on top of a table in my penthouse. Not one person bothered me the moment I arrived back here. Once I started to head for the elevator, Ren had caught up with his Knights. Not once did he run after me. I quietly thanked the stars he didn't. I had locked myself up tightly and changed out of my clothes from the earlier hours and events. Changing into something comfortable, I wandered around the place for a few hours before taking a seat on top of the table. I needed to do everything I could think of to calm my mind. I thought of everything that once made me happy. My parents, the kingdom of Sylas, my old friends, Stefan and Sarah, their baby, Monroe, the Temple, Luke, and Leia...I even thought about Ben. I didn't want to sleep, and from the moment I arrived back here, I was told Monroe was long gone. He vanished from the hotel the moment he felt me become different through the force.

I had no intention of leaving, not until the last night, which was less than a day away. For the rest of the day and into the next night, I wanted to stay in one place. Looking over to the room that housed my bed, I contemplated sitting somewhere comfortable. That is until a knock at the main door caught my attention, and with it came Ben's aura. I didn't want to see his face, feel the dark side swimming around him. Yet, I wanted to be near him, for comfort, like I had during the Temple days. Though unbalanced back then, it was all I needed. I let him feel the conflict of potentially wanting him to stay with me and waited for his response through the force. 

Nothing came as the doorknob began to twist in a direction, the door itself opening to reveal Ben in usual sleeping attire. Dark pants that fit snug around his lower half and a loose long sleeve dark shirt that was a charcoal color. His hair was messy as if waking up from his sleep. His pants were tucked into his boots as he stalked towards me in silence. He seemed he was conflicted, and not just by what happened tonight. As if he could feel the leftover pain, he brought his hands up to cup my face as he leaned forward, his forehead touching mine gently.

"I didn't know." I could feel what he was trying to do. Reassure me, and he spoke the truth.

"I should've. I siphoned so much of the force from this place. I should've known it was a trick." I was a Jedi; I definitely should've known better. But with power, there's always a price. And maybe, this was the consequence my father spoke about that involved the caves.

"You need to sleep, Amara." He spoke after a few minutes of just rubbing circles on my skin with his thumbs. It felt good.

"Not with the idea that he's someone out there, alive in some way."

"Nothing will harm you. Not with me here."

"There's no point. The sun's rising in just a few hours, and we both need to be ready for San's stupid ball. I'll sleep when I'm dead." I went to push away from him but not fast enough as I could stand, but he spun me around, my hands landing against his chest.

"Amara...try" I could see just in the gleam of his eyes; he wanted something more but not out of greed or his title.

He was here just for me, out of comfort, of who we used to be. Without much of a fight or the energy to do so, I nodded my head as he was the one to lead the way towards the bedroom, closing the door once I stepped inside. Feeling my way through the darkness, he took me by the hand and led me to the bed, helping me step into it to lay down. With his arms stretched out as far as I could see, I fell against his clothed chest as the covers were forced upward towards my face. At first, the moment felt out of character because of who he was now. But when his arms fell on my body, his tight grip pulling me closer to his body, this wasn't something Kylo Ren would do. His body felt warm against my face as I laid my head gently on his chest as it rose and fell with each breath. Tranquillity washed over the dark bedroom.

"You knew something was wrong," I whispered as the words barely sounded audible against his chest.

"Yes, with the room and with you. The Knights and I weren't there to capture and interrogate you originally, Amara. After you fled from that man's house, I could feel the Dark Side begin to rip you apart, from the inside out. For you, I knew that was a sign of danger, and when I saw the dark veins on your neck a few hours ago, I became worried for your safety."

"You weren't there to hurt me," I repeated his words as I felt his chin on top of my head. He nodded once.

"It was never my intention to, here or anywhere before." Within seconds, I felt sorry, a first in a long time. Nestling my head further against his shirt, he began to rub his hand up and down my bare arm that laid across his body.

"It was wrong to accuse you of choosing the Resistance. I should've known you would never do it." If this were as close to an apology from him, I would take it no matter how it sounded. It was nice to know he felt sorry for something too. More silence washed over the room as I could feel him become curious about something we had yet to discuss.

"What happened a year ago? Before you came to defeat Snoke?" He asked as I felt deep within our bodies that both of us were ready to hear this story as I moved in a way to see the highlights and shadows of his face, the twinkling in his eyes the first thing I saw. I didn't know how much he wanted to know as I sat up entirely on the bed. Feeling my hesitation, he leaned over to flick on a lamp as we stared at the other with slightly different gazes. His eyes were curious. Mine was hesitant...fearful. Moving his body closer to mine, I watched as he cupped my face with one large hand before nodding his head once.

"Ben"

"Show me, all of it." Within seconds, his lips found mine.

With our lips together, I had no sense of what was happening as I felt my back hit the soft surface of silken sheets, his body coming down with mine. His large hands found my shoulders as they fell from my face, my hands gripping the collar of his shirt tightly. Something about him felt much gentler than times before. There was no harsh force that brought us together as his lips molded with mine. Time wasn't rushed as he felt my body in a way to calm me. He knew from the waves of emotion, of uneasiness, that what I was about to open up to wasn't easy to remember. I could feel his hands in my hair as he sprawled out strands, the feeling of the hair slipping from his fingers made it easier to open my mind to him, but again, only partially. I still hid everything about Hope and will keep doing so. Feeling his hands travel down my body as he lifted one of my legs to encircle his, my mind eased its way open, back to that night.

I showed him the reason at first. To become powerful enough only to bring Snoke down, and then run as I had always known. The only thing I ever knew how to do right. I showed him what I had learned about the Hollow and its power. His large hand that traveled down my leg gripped my thigh as I felt each finger dig into the cool skin. I had very short shorts on and an oversized tank top that was practically a dress on me now. His tongue dipped inside my mouth once I had opened it to want more of him. Still, he was gentle. Nothing was rushed, even when I began to show him how my journey to the Hollow's ground became deadlier. Mina's and Suran's faces would always haunt my mind after what happened, after their betrayal. I could feel Ben's emotions become heated with their betrayal, his lips pushing against mine with harder force. He was angry at what they did, forcing me under the water.

I showed him the pain of drowning, the hurt of betrayal, the loneliness I felt when I was close to giving up. He was forced to see the shell of a child that was too scared to act. A little girl running out of the air and only wishing for someone to save her at the last minute. But nothing would come, not on time either. I made sure he felt the power I had pushed out to call for help. From him to Luke, to Leia, to anyone who was strong with the force. But by the time even Vader had answered my prayers, I was dying. 

Ben's strong arms snaked around my back as he pulled me closer to him as if needing only a hug from me as he slowly removed himself from my mind. The only thing left to show him was Vader giving me his power to save my life. And with it, the power to kill Snoke. Ben broke away from me and I half expected him to pull away from me and off the bed. But he didn't. He stayed on the bed, just pulled away from my body as he sat up, brushing his hands over his face. He was feeling too many things at once as I had.

"I felt you reach for me. What happened after that?"

"Vader blocked you by using our Dyad connection to get through to me, to save me."

"You seemed so sure it was him, truly him back then." He looked towards me now, his hands dropping away from his face. He, too, was questioned about it, if it was Vader. I nodded as his eyes fell with suspicions.

"He spoke about you, the pain you were feeling when he blocked you. It wasn't Vader who was supposed to save me that night. It was supposed to be you, projecting yourself through the force."

"He saw the opportunity. Why?"

"My parents. Why else?" Ben's mind went silent after my words fell from my mouth. Unlike his, mine cared too much to see me dead without saving everyone else first. I was the selfless one in the family, a trait my parents saw long before they were killed.

"He knew you loved me then," I spoke quietly as I moved to get out of bed, knowing I couldn't sleep for a fact now. Now that Ben knew what happened. I hated that he wanted to know so badly. A part of me thought if he knew, he'd hate me for dying on him, for giving up when I was powerless. I didn't want to die thinking he would hate me forever-

"How could you possibly think I could hate you when you know I love you too much for my good, Amara?" I froze my movements as my eyes shot open, hopeful he couldn't see it in the shadows. Dropping my gaze down long enough to turn my body to face him, his eyes were looking down as well, but not before catching my gaze on his body as his head slowly rose to meet mine.

"Y-you" I couldn't think of anything else to say, or even think as he sighed out with annoyance before leaving his side of my bed to come over and kneel before me. He almost looked like a prince doing this.

"I meant what I said the first time, Amara Djinn. And don't doubt for a second that Vader wasn't lying. I do love you. I never stopped, not for a moment." His words were genuine; his mind was only filled with thoughts and memories of me. From a smile to me basking in the sunlight, everything was crystal clear as he opened his mind to me for the first time.

"Why?" I couldn't help the tears that dripped down my face as I asked him the simple question.

"Because you're here, with me, and I can feel your love for me." He spoke as he stood up long enough to extend a hand out for me to take. I gave him an apprehensive stare, but he shook his head.

"Nothing will touch you while I'm here at your side. You need to sleep, Amara. That is what I wish to give you." I could hear the truth behind his words as I took his hand.

He helped me stand long enough to sweep me off my feet as we left not just my bedroom but my place itself. Kicking his way through the door opposite of mine, he used the force to shut it tightly with a loud thud. His grip tightened with each obstacle that got in his way as he made his way back into his bedroom as the plush bed awaited my arrival. I suddenly found myself not wanting to leave his arms as he placed me gently onto the bed, the sheets and blankets already pulled back. 

Laying me down, inch by inch, he covered my legs before he crawled under, stretching his tall body out beside mine. I felt small again as he urged me to come closer; his warmth had already invited me before he said anything. Laying my head on the pillow given to me, I watched as he lifted his arms high in the air as he ripped his long sleeve shirt off, the muscles moving with every inch of his body. My face felt flushed in seconds as the lights were forced off. Digging my head further into the pillow, I thought about the shadows in the room as I felt strong arms encase me again.

"My Knights will alert me if something is wrong. Sleep Mar."

"Easier said than done. You don't have nightmares that could cause destruction."

"No, but I have my ways to help you, like always." He touched my bare arm closest to him as he brushed his fingers on my skin lightly. And he did by using the force, but not in a bad and hurtful way. My thoughts lingered as my eyes closed at the sound of his peaceful breathing. I could feel our minds bridge together, and the moment I felt him enter my mind, the same time I thought about Queen Alena, I heard him chuckle deeply.

"My business with her has been finished for a day now. You're another story."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked quietly as pure exhaustion began to settle in. I felt calm and safe next to him, the way I used to.

"You'll learn in the morning. Sleep, Amara." I heard his words as he, too, fell onto his pillow with exhaustion seeping in. Tilted my head upward, my forehead crashed against his, but not once did either of us pull back.

"Be with me tomorrow night." He spoke with one last breath as I nodded my head, knowing he couldn't see it. But I knew deep down; he could feel my acceptance of the offer.