Cejanr (A Rexsoka SWTCW Fanfic)

68

"Ahsoka?" Back in their quarters, Rex put a hand on her shoulder. Ahsoka shook it off. She made a note on a datapad and continued to map out the sewer system.

"Ahsoka." Rex tried again. She actually spared him a glance this time before diving back into her work.

"Not right now, Rex." She sighed, pulling up the ventilation system and marking it.

"You said yourself, Caedus was gone. You did everything physically possible." He pointed out, moving to sit in front of her. She ignored him. Rex pressed his lips together and shook his head. "They found Vaughn and his men, all unharmed and safe now." No response. "You didn't have to do that, jump in for them like that. You could have simply reported them ambushed and sent out a search party."

"Of course I had to." She whispered, marking where she had been caught on the map and tracking through the ventilation shafts around it. "I'm not- I'm not going to send them to their deaths."

"Ahsoka." She bit her lip and looked down, taking another note on the datapad. "Ahsoka look at me." He reached over and turned the holoprojector off. She didn't try to stop him. She stared at an empty spot in the grey bedding.

"This is going to be the hardest thing for you to hear. But, as bad as Krell was, he almost always succeeded." Ahsoka jerked, staring at him. "I'm not telling you to try to be like Krell. Force, I don't know if I could take another Krell." He took a shuddering breath.

"Ahsoka, I love you." He whispered. "You were probably the first person who saw me as more than just a number." Her eyes were wide as she listened, not quite putting his words together. "But you can't save us all. No matter how hard you try, our purpose is to die. To be expendable. You'll only tire yourself out, and that will get you killed. There are hundreds of us. There is only one of you."

"Rex I'm not going to-"

"Ahsoka, Caedus is probably the most ruthless and amoral enemy we have ever faced. You and I know this better than anybody. We're going to have to fight for every inch we gain on him. And nothing fights harder than a desperate man. If you waste your strength trying to keep us all alive, then Caedus will escape." 

"I know, Rex! I know force darn it!" She yelled. "But I can't... I can't kill them like that." She bit her lip and looked at the ground, a tear tracing down her cheek. 

"I'm not asking you to kill your men." Rex said softly, brushing away the tears and raising her chin up gently. Blue eyes met gold. "I'm asking you to trust them." 

Ahsoka folded in on herself. Rex wrapped her in a protective hug, letting her cry into the soft fabric of his blacks. She clung to him, trembling as sobs wracked her body. She took a few shaky breaths only to collapse again. 

"I feel like a padawan all over again." She choked out, pressing the side of her face into the firm give of his chest. 

"Even in your last months as a padawan, you were still just enforcing Skywalker's orders. The no man left behind creed works with small squads, it's enforced as the go-to tactic when working as a squad in most situations. This is your first time leading a major scale operation. You will lose men. It's good to keep the losses low, but not at the cost of tactics." He murmured against her montrals. Ahsoka scrubbed at her eyes, biting her lip and accidentally sinking her one intact fang into it. 

She wiped away the sudden trickle of blood. Rex slowly released her, pressing a kiss on her forehead. She looked up at him, smiling a little despite the tears still in her eyes and the blood smeared across her lips. The cut stung a little, but she forced it to the back of her mind with the rest of her aches and pains.