Venus; second planet from the sun, named after the Roman Goddess of love and beauty. the only planet in the Solar System that rotates clockwise. also called: the Morning Star, the Evening Star. Venus finds herself somewhere she never thought she'd b...
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bellamy chokes and it feels like i'm spiraling. bellamy uses his hands to keep himself breathing, but murphy starts to hit him over and over, ignoring my cries.
great, my ex boyfriend is a psychopath and i probably won't even live to have a next boyfriend.
the floor opens up and raven comes out, but bellamy is still hanging, "raven save him please," i yell.
but jasper comes in, octavia following. jasper goes upstairs, where murphy ran to, and they all help bellamy and i out of the ropes.
he runs to me, not even taking a second to hug his sister. he takes his shirt off and hands it to me, i put it on and he picks me up bridal style. i know it was to cover me up, but it feels like just another excuse for him to be shirtless.
"if you don't get murphy, i'll fucking kill him myself," he says, "this is more important,"
he takes me to his tent, laying me in his cot and putting me under the covers. he gives me some water and pushes the tears off of my face, which continue to flow out of my eyes.
"hey," he says, "i'm fine, okay? you're fine, he can't touch you anymore,"
i grab his hand, his other hand wipes blood from my mouth and nose and he holds me while i sob into his chest.
a few moments pass when jasper comes into the tent, "murphy left. he used ravens gunpowder to blow a hole in the drop ship, he ran,"
"the grounders will take care of him," bellamy says, not letting me go, "gather a rescue team to look for the others, raven was right we don't abandon our own,"
"are we going?" i ask barely above a whisper.
"no. you're staying here, and i'm not leaving you," bellamy says, "now please leave. thank you."
jasper leaves and bellamy sits up to look at me, "it's okay, it's all going to be okay,"
"i'm sorry," i'm still crying, but you can't hear it in my voice, "i didn't know he was going t-"
"i know. he didn't mean to put you in danger and neither did i," he says back.
"if i were out there like octavia was, i think i would've been worse," i responded.
"if i ever see murphy again, he's dead."
"get in line," i laugh, "will you bring me some food? please?"
he nods and gets up, i roll to my side and look out the tent towards him. i see him talking to jasper, jasper heads inside of the tent with me, he stops and asks me, "is it alright if i hug you?"
"of course it is, jasper,"
he hugs me as if his life depends on it, "i'm sorry," is this what life is going to be like? people are going to apologize to me like i have some sort of illness, i know jasper means no harm so i let him hug me. he leaves and i look towards bellamy, he's yelling to the people and it looks important.
murphy loved me, but if that's love i don't think i need it. or want it. bellamy comes back into the tent, "clarke says the grounders are coming. they're coming with an army, they want to leave camp, i want to fight."
"i'm not exactly ready for a fight," i respond, trying to sit up. bellamy went through more physical pain than i did, but i went through more emotional pain. he knows that.
"i can protect you," he says as he helps me sit up.
"bellamy," i say, barely above a whisper, "can i ask you something,"
"of course,"
"when you said that you love me, in what way do you mean that?" i ask. he's silent for a few seconds, and i know he's thinking about what he means. he probably never asked himself that question.
"i love you. i don't know in what way. i haven't asked myself, i know i love you in a way that i want to protect you. i want you to always be safe, and always be with me." he says.
"when i said i wasn't ready to be with you," i start, leaning towards him, "i'm ready now, okay?"
after every time that i've kissed him first, he finally decided to man up and kiss me this time. he kissed me in a way that i know he didn't want to have sex, he just wanted to show me how much he cares. and he did.
he lightly grabbed my hips to hold me still, but when he did that it felt like everything in my brain told me to freak out, now i know he would never hurt me, but my brain tells me that he will.
i pull away, and he doesn't seem angry. "i get it, you have fresh wounds and your brain needs to figure out how to deal with it," he says, "we have time." he gives me a peck on the lips before walking out of the tent.
i put my own clothes on and head out of the tent myself, going to find raven to figure out what we're doing next. clarke and finn came back, as i find out, while i was in the tent with bellamy.
"i'm confused," finn says, "how did murphy get a gun?"
"long story," i say, joining the crew in trying to heal raven from the injuries he gave raven.
"he got lucky, hitting me instead of the rocket fuel, we'd all be dead if he didn't," raven says as she grits her teeth in pain.
"there's rocket fuel down there?" clarke and i ask at the same time
"enough to build 100 bombs if we had the gunpowder left, her boyfriend stole the last of it to make his escape," raven responds, and i cringe when she says boyfriend. bellamy and the others shoot her a look.
"dying in a fight you can't win isn't brave, bellamy," finn says, it seems they were a part of their own argument outside of us.
"that's enough, it's time to go," clarke says.
"meaning?" i ask, out of the loop like i always am.
"they want to run," bellamy says, which makes sense. clarke has finally given in to finn, without him there would be no way she would make this choice.
finn leaves, and clarke gets closer to bellamy, "we need you. those kids listen to you"
"they're lining up to go," bellamy responds, "they listen to you more."
"they should listen to neither of you. no offense bellamy, but there's no way to stay and live. unless you guys find a way. so do that, find a fucking way," i say, walking outside. bellamy and clarke follow, but instead of listening to me, bellamy decided to tell everyone to listen to clarke and leave.
we walk through the woods in what seems to be the loudest crowd ever. we stop outside the gate when one of the kids in our group gets speared. people panic and scream, running back to camp.
fuck. this.
everyone is yelling over eachother, giving their opinions that nobody asked for. some want to leave and some want to stay. it's up to clarke, once again.
